Going back home six years and 146 pounds later

This is just a rambling, pondering, kind of AW post on how even an old-timer like me can still have her mind blown on occasion, so if you're bored by my yammering, just move on to the next post, LOL.

Before moving to my current residence in rural northern Michigan six years ago,  I raised my children for 15 years in a VERY affluent small suburb of Detroit.    Great schools, expensive million dollar homes, small, insular and social.    I was always the odd woman out - a single parent, musician and fat.   Women here stay pretty thin, by any means necessary.    I was very active in the community, and people were kind enough to me in a peripheral way.   I had a thriving piano studio of 52 students, my children were really good students in school, etc., but I never felt like I fit in.    I never had any close girlfriends, except for one overweight friend I attended weigh****chers with.   I knew without a doubt that I was treated condescendingly my many.    My children's' playgroup parents would tell me "What a pretty face" I had or suggest a new exercise class I might want to check out, etc.    Nobody invited me to join their tennis teams or card groups.
One of my former piano students was married last night, and I was invited to her wedding.    This was the first time I'd been back to my community for any length of time in six years.    I'd driven by my old house, taken my husband for a drive through my former stomping grounds, etc, but I'd not stopped by to visit anyone.     I knew that there would be many people I know at this wedding, so I was very nervous.  

I found a wonderful Maggie London dress at TJ Maxx for $30.   Interestingly, I found the exact same dress at Nordstrom for $159 on Friday evening, so I really knew I'd gotten a bargain.  My sister told me to buy some smokin' hot platform peeptoe pumps, so I did.   I thought my husband's eyes were going to bug out of his head when he saw me in this outfit.   I got him cleaned up, and off we went.  Here's a pic of the dress - minus the sexy peep toe pumps:




The wedding was at a beautiful church near the water, the reception was at a local yacht club.    When I walked into the church, I really didn't think anyone would recognize me, but as heads turned to see who was walking in next, I saw people look me up and down, then realize who I was and I LITERALLY saw jaws drop.    I felt like an insect in a specimen jar.   I was so freakin' nervous.    All through the service, I kept seeing people sneaking peeks at me, whispering....oh God, I wasnt even sure I wanted to go to the reception.     I got the few "You look GREATS!" as people hugged me, but I also got the "Oh my GAWD, you were so HUGE before!  How'd you get so thin?" comments, and I was shocked that people would be so forward.  I always hated my former dentist, kinda, because she was a community socialite and a little tiny thing.   It was a real mind **** to realize I'm now smaller than her.     People who I'd always thought looked so great, who I aspired to look like, didn't look quite so thin to me anymore.     One former acquaintance, who seemed rather drunk, just kept saying "Oh my gosh, you were HUGE - now look at you!  You're so gorgeous!"   She kept using different variations - "You were a REALLY big girl, etc"  every time she'd comment.   I didn't need any more reminders of how fat I used to be.   I really wanted to smack her, and she followed me around all evening while her husband ogled me.       Many people commented on how happy I look now, and my one sweet friend held me at arm's length and said "This is the way you were always meant to be," and started to cry.     It was an extremely emotional evening.   I haven't really missed living there - I'm a pretty down-to-earth gal and this community always seemed a bit over the top and pretentious to me, but this was where I raised my children, and I was so proud to see how well my piano students are doing.    Anyway, I've been thinking a great deal about this experience since last night, and I feel rather sad that it took losing 146 pounds to capture that kind of attention.   Never mind that my son was valedictorian of his class and went on to MIT or that my daughter was salutatorian.   Never mind that I'd hosted dozens of exchange students and was a respected piano teacher.  People pretty much ignored all that.    They only paid attention when I became thin.    I can understand their ability to do so - we are a very visually-oriented society, especially this area that I lived in, but damn,  even though I walked away feeling like a celebrity, I'm not in a terribly great place about it.   My husband (who never knew me heavy, but claims he'd still think I was sexy as hell) says I think way too much about such things.   Maybe I do.

You don't think too much about it.  honestly think about all the years you spent heavy.  You deserve every bit of praise and attention you can get.  You look AMAZING!!!  I can't wait to be where you are.  One of my dreams is to run into people who once mocked me for my weight.  I don't care about the negative comments because I know deep down they'll be jealous that if nothing else I accomplished something HUGE. 

You should feel like a celebrity, you are amazing!  Congrats! 

Did I mention how amazing you look in that dress?

Of course, there's a certain amount of vindication here and I got a feeling of twisted pleasure when i found out my snobby socialite former denist is now heavier than I am!

Aw, Julie, you look wonderful in that dress!  I'm glad that you got to see your piano students again and that people finally gave you the recognition you deserve.  I know it's hard because a lot of people are very superficial about people's appearances.  Try to forgive them for it, even though it's hard because they are so thoughtless.  I feel the same way.  But most of all, you are healthier now and feel good, that's the main thing. 

Julie,
You look fantastic! What an experience you had......

Congrats! You look great! Don't worry about those snobs, it's just proof that most of them weren't worth the heartache back then, and still aren't today. And, your post was a very interesting read as well as inspirational.
Karen

What a wonderful story Julie! You totally deserved all of the head turning and snickers in the background because you looked absolutely stunning in that "little" black dress. I'm glad your husband made you go to the reception, because you needed to have that conversation with your former friend. Through all of the mean and ugly comments about how you used to be, they had to pay homage to the person you are now.

Absolutely great story, and keep turning those heads!

Nika

What a great story!  You look amazing and love the dress. 

You def. deserve all of the kudos!!! You are a beautiful woman, inside and out. I am sorry for all of those people that they never took the time to really see how awesome that you are. In the end even though you lost the weight, they are the losers.

 Thank you - I"m pretty philosophical about it all....I know human nature, and I don't hold it against anybody.   I just feel kind of sad that many folks didn't get bother to get to know me then, because I was the same person (basically) then as I am now!   (Just older and with more wrinkles, LOL)