Umpteenth monday morning diet

I woke up this morning with my swollen legs and swollen fingers.  I finished off all my hidden bags of candy yesterday (as I do every sunday) in anticipation of my monday morning diet.  I am filled with self hatred and disgust, and STILL can't get back on track!!  I feel determined and then by late afternoon, I get a craving so overwelming, that I can't control it!!  I don't just eat 1 candy bar, I buy big bags or make a whole pan of brownies and eat it in 1 day!  I am SO addicted to sweets I can't get control of myself!  I had VSG in 10/08 and lost 182 lbs in less than 1 1/2 years.  In 2 years I have managed to gain back a whopping 96 lbs!!!!  I am back to hidding out from people.  Not wanting to see anyone, even my own siblings.  After I had gained back 40 lbs, I ran into a couple I hadn't seen since my lowest weight.  He looked at me and said "Wow, you've really gained alot of weight back.  Will you get as big as you were?"  I wanted to crawl into a hole and never come out.  If I knew what I know now, I would have listened to my surgeon and NEVER touched a sweet again!!!  Unfortunately, there is no support group in my area.  My surgeon is 3 1/2 hours away.  Support groups ARE VERY important!!  My blood pressure is rising again, my knees are starting to hurt again, I know I'm slowly killing myself with food, but feel helpless.  I'm 62 and wasting what should be the best years of my life! 

Sugar is very addictive. It is a real addiction.  You have it. The only way that I can control it is by avoiding sugar and foods that make me crave sugar.

Proteins and fats> Non starchy veggies. 
Sweets? I eat them... but I either make them myself (sugar free or very low sugar - with the help of stevia) or I buy all natural protein bars. Some that I can recommend - is quest bars.

It is not what I give up - but the substitution that helps me deal with my addiction. 

Google " sugar addiction"/

Also - since you have been eating sugar - lots of it - most likely you have candida in your system (lots of yeast ) - google that.  I do treat that every few months (initially every month) with 2-3 dosages of diflucan (doc prescribed)
I make sure I eat often - every 2 hrs - to make sure that my blood sugar is stable.

Initially I would suggest you try to limit what you eat and then - once you limit the sugar - you can limit how much.  I would do that.

Check eggface blog for great recipes for desserts and protein cakes...

I do not use milk - way too many sugars... that triggers my sugar addiction and I do dump on milk sugar (on top of that).  Check BOTT group.

I am a recovering sugar/carb addict. My body cannot handle them and the more I eat the more I crave them. I understand you may not have a in person support group in your area but there are MANY online support groups for OA. The Recovery Group has online meetings very 3 hours. It helped me tremendously. Good Luck.

Wow I do share the same issues weight is ballooning I just tried to sweeze in a dress I wore 3 years ago well guess what it didnt fit my down fall I eat one piece of candy anything sweet an I cant stop my will power is terrible so sad so sad we have to be a support group for each other before it past to late

First of all let me just say that the JERK who said, "Wow, will you get as big as you were?"  has the social graces of a fascist.  OMG!!!! What an a$$.  

As someone who battles with sugar addiction but also carb addiction in general (wheat thins=heroin to me)  I truly believe that some people are just bodily different from others.  What someone else eats could kill me and vice versa.  Just like the Alcoholic is ADDICTED to alcohol, I believe for myself as a Compulsive Overeater that I am addicted to enormous amounts of certain foods.  Once I start, I CAN NOT STOP.  
Overeaters Anonymous is a 12 Step Recovery group that offers hope to Compuslive Overeaters.  Check out their website at www.oa.org and you should find a checklist or questions that will help you determine if you fit the criteria for belonging.   

There is a search engine on the website to find out if you have local meetings in your area.  THere are even meetings that happen on the telephone like a conference call or in chat rooms if you're not ready to go to a face to face meeting.  

I wish you luck and compassion in your journey.  Be gentle with youself.  THis is a marathon, not a sprint. 

Thank you everyone, for your ideas and comments.  I will try that oa website.  I just can't go on like this anymore. 

You can stop this dead in its tracks. You still have kept off 86 pounds. Don't let it go any higher. You CAN lose some of the weight you gained. I think you just need some help. I agree with overeaters anonymous or talking to a nutritionist would be so good for you. Or perhaps a counselor/therapist to discuss your food issues. Come back on here and there is a lot of support. I wish you the best. All of us who have had weight loss surgery have issues with food, it's so obvious. So you are not alone. Big hugs going your way.

Thanks so much!  I DO need support.  On my own, I haven't been successful.  I would like to find a counselor that specializes in food addictions, but haven't had luck finding one in my area. 

I love sweets too, more then anything else on earth, I would give up everything if I could live on brownies, candy and bagels.  So I get it.  That said, I was diabetic before surgery, my rny got rid of my need of meds, but I am still very reactive to simple sugars and crash terribly if I eat them.  That should keep me away, but it doesn't always.  What did was purging all the carbs, including my beloved protein bars ie crack for wls patients, out of my life.  Seriously it has to all go, carbs make you crave carbs, so they need to all be gone.  I replaced my sweet snack with greek yogurt and fresh strawberries and splenda with some walnuts.  Its healthy and sweet but not bad and doesn't make me crash.  For all other meals its healthy low fat meats and veggies and whole grains, complex carbs.  You can beat this back, once you do, you will not only feel better but you will feel in control.  Now the food is your demon, its haunting you, but in reality its killing you.  You can come out of hiding and regain your life by walking away permanantly, just like an alchoholic, one drink is all it takes, well one bad indulgance is all it takes.  Eventually when you get back where you want to be maybe you can re-introduce sweets as a treat, but remember every day is not Christmas, and every day is not a reason to eat candy.  Believe me, I truly honestly understand.  I can do this so can you.  Really.

Thanks so much for the post.  I feel hope coming back to me!!