What is "Success" after surgery?

A member on another board posted the topic "What does it mean to be "successful" after WLS?" She  wondered if some may be to rigid in advocating strict compliance to the eating properly, exercising, etc.  My response was as follows:

Success - I guess it's meaning is defined by the individual. To me success is achieving what I want to accomplish.  I didn't really set a personal weight goal for myself, but my cardiologist and PCP told me they would be pleased if I lost down to around 210 lbs.  I'm now more than 15 lbs. below that.  However, I did set a goal of  regaining my health and energy, of feeling better, of getting off all the meds I could, and of being able to enjoy and actually participate in life's activities again. To that end, I vowed to give it my all to follow the program set forth by my surgeon, nutritionist and WL team at Vandy after surgery. I figure that after having my innards re-routed, I just want to do everything within my own power to not gain the weight back in the future.  

It's repeatedly said "Weight Loss Surgery is a TOOL, not a magic cure" - and that is absolutely 100% correct. A lawn mower is a tool and if you don't crank it up and use it your lawn will grow unsightly. If you don't do the proper maintenance on the lawn mower - change the oil and spark plug - eventually your lawn mower (tool) won't work so well, or at all. A garden hoe is a tool, but if you don't get it out and work it - which is hard work - the weeds will overtake your garden.  Well, when someone has bariatric surgery and gets their weight loss "tool", they have to use it and maintain it correctly.
They HAVE to be diligent, dedicated and determined in following their WL post-op program - otherwise, it won't work as effectively, and may even (probably will) fail eventually.

Obviously, no one is perfect.  I think we've all made or will make some mistakes or bad choices at some time or another along this journey.  I also think the key is that if and when we make a mistake to learn from it and try not to repeat it.  In that sense, I think we have to be somewhat rigid in our approach to nutrition and exercise.  We have to take responsibility for our actions.  Some folks may think I'm a mean old rigid hard-assed ogre because when someone posts about a screw up I don't coddle them and tell them it's OK to do that.  I tell them to get back on track and do not do it again  and to learn from it.  I believe that supporting someone means encouraging them, offering an opinion when asked, and applauding them when appropriate.  But I also think a part of support is holding one another accountable for our actions or inactions.  I don't want to sit back and say "Ahhhh, it's OK that you ate a whole box of sugar-free whatever and got sick as a dog".  I want to encourage them to take responsibility for their action that wasn't good for them and to not do it again.  I want to encourage them to take control of the situation and not let it get out of hand.  Why - because I want them to be a success - whatever that may mean to them - in their personal WL journey. 

So, what are your thoughts  or comments on this subject?

 I would also like to interject with an example of my own. "Your penis is like a tool, in that if you don't use it you won't have feel-good vibrations." I know, immaturity is the spice of life though. HAPPY CIVIL RIGHTS DAY PPL!!!

Now that is some funny **** right there now. 

Taz

Great post Bama,

You know, I used to think "success" was 200 pounds...but now, I don't know anymore.  I often times don't feel successful because I still struggle with food choices and "head hunger" daily.  I feel like I'm just sitting over the edge of "success" and soon reality is going to snatch me back over to where I was.  I've heard thousands of times that the surgery fixes your stomach, but not your head and, boy, am I ever figuring that out.  I feel I have to be more cognizant now of food and exercise that I was "dieting" and 320lbs.

Everyone I know calls me a success, I "look" like a sucess, but I still feel like a fat guy.  Not phyically, mind you, but mentally.  So, I don't think I have a clear definition of what success is, at least not now that I have supposed to have arrived at it. 

p.s. oh yeah, Lance.  I aint got NO problem using THAT tool (lately anyway) LOL
Jason

 Omg me too! I feel SO freakin' fat. I told my NUT I wanted to lose at least 30 more pounds and she was like umm let's say you get to 220 and you'll be fine and i was like ummm no I'm gonna lose 30 more pounds haha. I want to lose as much as possible!

Good words, Bob.  So true.  On AOL, has an article that the season 3 winner of Biggest Loser, who lost over 200 lbs and got down before 200, has gained back 1/2 of the weight and is at 300 lbs now.  He said he got depressed and started eating, not exercising after all the attention he was getting stopped.  We didn't do this for the attention.  We did the surgery (or should have) for US, to get healthy.  Heh, I want to be "skinny" for the first time in my life, but I also want to be healthy!  I don't want the compliments be what drives me.  There were also a series of pics of different celebs and their wieght issues, and had one comedian that said he hated people who had WLS because they are just lazy ******** that want to get out of exercising.   The cluelessness of some people amazes me.   Also, you kickin my ass (and others) when needed is one of the things I really appreciate about you, Bob.  Thanks for not coddling.  Michael

I think success is very hard to define. I think on my good rational days being healthy is all I need.

That unfortunately makes me think that where I am right now is enough. I am off all kinds of meds and feel way better than I did. I would like to be 44 pounds lighter. (My doc wants 24 pounds) I just have a hard time imagining that I will feel even better with those pounds off and believing that I could really do it. It just feels like so many guys here manage it but there is no way I can do it.

I some how have to believe so that I can motivate myself. I still have to do it but it is defiantly fighting my head. Something that while I knew I would need to do I did not appreciate how hard that would be.

So at the moment for me I need to define success in a way that does not cheat myself trying to protect myself from failing yet again.

Hope that makes some sort of weird sense.

It is the battle of the 'head'. Not the battle of the 'buldge'.

When I regained about 50 lbs after my initial 235 lb weight loss, my surgeon said that my WLS was a success and that I was experiencing normal bounce back weight gain.  Thank god no onee talks like that anymore.  My goals were not great in part because I wasn't encouraged to think in those terms.  And, I believed my surgeon since he was the president of the American Society of Bariatric Surgeons at that time.  I don't question his ability as a surgeon.  I guess I'm a success in some ways because I'm still 200 lbs under my start weight but I did have a 2nd RNY due to staple line disruption. 

One thing that is helping me to get my life in order is the support I get from the Men's Forum.

Success has to be somewhat individual, because we all had our own driving reasons for taking a risk and getting WLS in the first place.

For me success included the following:

No more CPAP machine (sleep apnea)

Probably adding at least 20-30 years to my life expectancy

Higher daily quality of life during that 20-30 years

More energy at work and at home with the kids

Modeling a healthier lifestyle for my kids

Realizing and recognizing my addiction to food.

Realizing and recognizing I've got to work out my life issues (nope surgery doesn't fix those)

Getting a promotion at work less than a year after my surgery, and two larger than normal pay increases

Discovering that it's actually possible to enjoy exercise, and work it into your daily life.

Having more of a "Seize the day" attitude.

Thanks fellas - interesting replies.