I am almost a year out from RNY and I have achieved goal, but it has not been easy.  I have had many health issues that have just sent me into a pretty nasty depression.  Not suicidal in the slightest, its just hard to do anything, I know its temporary.  I have started anti-depressants, but not quite yet seeing the benefit.  I also started drinking pretty regularly (1-2 shots a night for the last 2 months).  I have never had problems with drugs or alcohol, but I am finding it hard to just not drink.  I also have not had depression issues before.  I am still in a lot of physical pain and have stopped taking pain meds, drinking helps, I know I am self medicating.  I am not drinking in excess, but then again with us bypassers even a little can be mind altering.  At this point I feel lost, I do not know who I am anymore and I do not know where to start looking.  Some times it just feels downright hopeless and I wish I knew where it was coming from.  There is just so much going on in my life right now it is often overwhelming and unfortunately I don't think that anyone around me could completely understand what I am going through.  I have a very wonderful husband of 15 years who has been so supportive of me through this whole process and he trys so hard to help me, he wants me happy and healthy, but at this point I don't think that is obtainable.  I am afraid that because of this I could very well possibly loose him, it s almost like I am pushing him away, I love him too much to expect him to have to take care of me for the rest of his life, he deserves better.  He says "for better or for worse, through sickness and through health", he keeps saying this when ever I bring up this concern, but its all been SICKNESS and WORSE for a while now.  When does it get better??? When will things start to change?? How far down am I going to get before I loose everything I love?

Michelle,
It is so good to see you posting.  I was wondering where you went.  Congrats on your two years.  I am at 18  months.  Woo Hoo.  Oh, and I am also 6 years out.  I, too, lost a bunch of weight over the summer and was absolutely amazed that my tool still worked.  I am now happily in a size 4 - I cannot EVER remember being this small.  Alot of people have moved over to the transfer addictions board.  I'm there too, but I still check here.  Kathy

Hi guys!  Wow what a difference a year makes!

I've lost about half of my post smoking cessating weight-gain - back down into my size 8's again - halelulia!  You know - it really *IS* about using our tool - no matter how far out.  It's been almost 6 yrs since my RNY - and the pouch stil does what it should if I do what I should!  (small bites, chew chew chew, no drinking with meals, dense proteins, 6 mini-meals a day, no grazing).  

I finally ended the relationship with the alcoholic boyfriend about 6 months ago - and it was so totally the right thing to do.  I've been really ok with it.

I'll be celebrating 2 yrs sobriety soon (this go round) and I'm helping others, working a good program and my life is good.

OHHHHH and the eldest child (who no longer lives with me) has made me a grandmother, so I've another wonderful blessing in my life!

Wow six years - if anybody would have tried to tell me the journey I would have back when considering surgery I would have never believed them!  I'm so tremendously grateful for progress instead of perfection!  It's the first time in my life I've been able to apply it as a philosophy!

I miss you guys' posts!  You've all been so instrumental in helping me with the weight and with the alcoholism.  Love you guys!

Michelle

I think this is a good forum to post them on.

Good Morning..

Today I am grateful..

For a warm leather jacket..

For a good nights rest..

For my job..

That I am a better man..

That I didn't lose it yesterday when my car was booted..