05/31 REFLECTION FOR THE DAY
Giving love is a fulfillment in itself.  It must not matter whether love is returned or not.  If I give love only to get a response on my terms, my love is cancelled out by my motives.  If I have the capacity to give love, then any return I get for it is a special bonus.  It is through giving love, freely and without expectations of return, that we find ourselves and build ourselves spiritually.  HAVE I BEGUN TO BELIEVE, IN THE WORDS OF GOETHE, THAT "LOVE DOES NOT DOMINATE; IT CULTIVATES.."?

TODAY I PRAY
May I, the inveterate people-pleaser and approval-seeker, know that the only real love does not ask for love back.  May God be patient as I try to practice this principle.  May I rid myself of pride that throws itself in the way of love.  May I discard my silly cat-and-mouse games that have no place in real love.

TODAY I WILL REMEMBER
I will not give love to get love.

~~~~my goodness.. is this ME or what~~~~ .. people-pleaser.. approval-seeker.. Yep.. ME.  When I don't get back what I give out.. many times I'm left hurt or just a feeling of let down.  Yep.. ME.   Think I'll make TODAY'S PRAYER..  a routine prayer for me for awhile!! and ask for the COURAGE to CHANGE!

actually going off of Seroquel is not an option for me either.  I have been on different medications and these two are the only two that have been found to work for me and not give me adverse effects.  I have been on these medications for about 3 years straight, and they work well.  I have never tried the Tegratol though, I may talk to my Psych about it, Thanks.

I know I have posted this before but it is worth repeating..
 
An Old Cherokee Teaches His Grandson About Life.
"A fight is going on inside me," he said to the boy. "It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil - he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego....   The other is good - he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith.

This same fight is going on inside you - and inside every other person, too."

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather which wolf would win.

The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."

Bipolar 2 is a milder form of bipolar. Hypomania occurs in patients with bipolar 2. Have your Dr do a full Evaluation to determine your true diagnosis.  Have you ever had a hypomania episode before this? Here are some "Typical symptoms"  I would research All types of bipolar disorder  so you understand what your Dr is talking about. 

Hypomanic Episode
SYMPTOMS

A hypomanic episode is not a disorder in itself, but rather is a description of a part of a type of bipolar disorder. 

A hypomanic episode is characterized by a distinct period of persistently elevated, expansive, or irritable mood, lasting throughout at least 4 days, that is clearly different from the person's usual mood. 

During the period of mood disturbance, 3 or more of the following symptoms have persisted (4 if the mood is only irritable) and have been present to a significant degree: 
Inflated self-esteem or grandiosity 
Decreased need for sleep (e.g., feels rested after only 3 hours of sleep) 
More talkative than usual or pressure to keep talking 
Flight of ideas or subjective experience that thoughts are racing 
Distractibility (e.g., attention too easily drawn to unimportant or irrelevant external stimuli) 
Increase in goal-directed activity (either socially, at work or school, or sexually) or psychomotor agitation 
Excessive involvement in pleasurable activities that have a high potential for painful consequences (e.g., the person engages in unrestrained buying sprees, sexual indiscretions, or foolish business investments) 

A hypomanic episode is associated with a change in functioning that is uncharacteristic of the person. For example, the individual may be far more productive or outgoing and socialable than they usually are. This change in functioning and in mood are not subtle -- the change is directly noticeable by others (usually friends or family members) during a hypomanic episode. 

A hypomanic episode is also not severe enough to cause serious impairment in social or occupational functioning, or to necessitate hospitalization, and there are no psychotic features. The observable symptoms of a hypomanic episode must not be due to substance use or abuse (e.g., alcohol, drugs, medications) or caused by a general medical condition (e.g., hyperthyroidism or diabetes). 

People who experience a hypomanic episode are often diagnosed with a type of bipolar disorder.

Depakote caused me to gain over 100 lbs I was taking 2000mg daily for two years, it and seroquel are both well known for causing weight gain.  I was taken off Depakote and put on Tegratol which has a low weight gain, I'm on Seroquel as well, and unfortunately going off that isn't an option for me.