05/29 REFLECTION FOR THE DAY
When we first reached The Program and for the first time in our lives stood among people who seemed to understand, the sense of belonging was exhilarating.  We felt that the problem of isolation had been solved.  We soon discovered, however, that while we weren't alone any more, in a social sense, we still suffered many of the old pangs or anxious apartness.  Until we had talked with complete candor of our conflicts, and had listened to someone else do the same thing, we still didn't belong.  Step Five was the answer.  HAVE I FOUND THROUGH THE FIFTH STEP THE BEGINNING OF TRUE KINSHIP WITH MY FELLOWS AND GOD?

TODAY I PRAY
May God help me learn to share myself, my attributes and my failings, not just as I take the Fifth Step but in a continuing give-and-take process with my friends.  May I cultivate an attitude of openness and honesty with others, now that I have begun to be honest with myself.  May I remember who I used to be -- the child in a game of hide-and-seek, who hid so well that nobody could find her/him and everyone gave up trying and went home.

TODAY I WILL REMEMBER
I will be open to friendship.

The FIFTH STEP..  Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

05/28 REFLECTION FOR THE DAY
We've all had times when we felt alienated, when it seemed we had nowhere to turn and no one to turn to.  When we don't know which way to turn, when there seems to be no one to help us, even then we're not alone or without help, the presence of God is always with us.  When we need strength or courage or comfort, God is there with us as the help we need.  Even before we turn to God, His love reaches out to us; His loving Spirit in us hears our cry and answers us.  DO I TRULY BELIEVE THAT I NO LONGER NEED TO BE ALONE?

TODAY I PRAY
May I never be alone, even in a place by myself, if I take time to talk to my Higher Power.  May He be my companion, my joy, my ever-present help in trouble.  May the knowledge of His constant presence fill me with calm, so that I will not fear either the solitude of my own room or alienation in a roomful of people.

TODAY I WILL REMEMBER
Listen for the presence of God.

Yes, I have more than one mental diagnosis, and was approved for disability on the first try.  (I get SSDI since I had enough credits from employment.)   I also have other/general health problems, but I think the mental problems are what got me approved.
You might have a good chance at the SSI.  For the SSI, you also have to be poor.  The fact that your doctor wants you off of work sure helps your case, I would think.  You can try it and see.
My biggest problem currently keeping me from trying to get employment is my overwhelming fatigue.  I am pre-op and morbidly obese.  I am in the waiting period before I can get Medicare
(due to disability), and then can persue weight loss surgery.  My current insurance totally excludes WLS. 

05/27 REFLECTION FOR THE DAY
When I have only myself to talk to, the conversation gets sort of one-sided.  Trying to talk myself out of a drink or a pill or a "small wager" or just one chocolate eclair is sort of like trying self-hypnosis.  It simply doesn't work; most of the time, it's about as effective as trying to talk myself out of a case of diarrhea.  When my heart is heavy and my resistance low, I can always find some comfort in sharing with a true and understanding friend in The Program.  DO I KNOW WHO MY FRIENDS ARE?

TODAY I PRAY
May I be convinced that, as part of God's master plan, we were put here to help each other.  May I be as open about asking for help as I am ready to give it, no matter how long I have been in The Program.  May the experiences of countless others be enough to prove to me that "talking myself out of it" seldom works, that the mutual bolstering that comes from sharing with a friend usually does.

TODAY I WILL REMEMBER
When I ask for help, I am helping.

Hi, I wanted to reply last night, but was too tired to make intelligence out of my words. I was inpatient at a hospital for three days, for cutting. I was over medicated and slept most of the time. I now work in a psych hospital and enjoy that work immensely. I do group therapy activities with all of the patients. I can relate to extreme grief, as I have lost both of my brothers in the past two years. It hurts like nothing. I also went through a painful divorce 8 years ago. I am not sure what to tell you about the hospital, but if you like, I will answer any specific questions you may have. Trish