There!  Now that doesn't sound so good does it?  Well you guys may or may not have noticed I've not been around...

I went into one of my "spells" over the past few months.  I have remained sober, but since I quit smoking and with the holidays, I've gained back about 25 lbs.  Now I have to keep in mind that I probably BEGAN gaining before Sept when I stopped smoking but I didn't get on a scale so I'm not sure.  Part of it was depression, part the not smoking and part holiday eating.

So because I'm compulsive as hell, I have been shoving stuff in my mouth non stop for 4 months, and it's hurting me.  The depression had nearly debilitated me.  I found myself wanting to do little else but nap.  I have been unable to focus/concentrate.  It's been hard to get things done.  Life (my house, job, gradschool) had been totally unmanagable.

This all came to a head when my body decided enough was enough and started breaking out into stress induced hives.  Loud noises?  hives.  Commotion?  hives.  Anxiety?  Hives.  So ONLY because I was miserable, I took my butt back to the doctor.  He put me back on 300 mg of  Wellbutrin XL and Atarax for the sedative/hives/itching (the Atarax is non addictive - he wanted to give me xanax until I reminded him of my addicted past).  I'm doing MUCH better and it's only been a week.  I'm beginning to get the grazing/munching under control and I've even been exercising.

I had a complete and utter meltdown in the doctor's office when I saw how much weight I gained.  I mean I KNEW I'd gained cuz my clothes were getting tight but seeing the truth there in a number... Wow that was rough.   I immeiately broke out in hives and cried.  At least the doctor got to actually SEE me have a stress induced breakout.

So anyhow - I just want to be accountable to you guys, tell you that I'm doing better, and reaffirm that I'm going to work my ass off to rid myself of this added 25 lbs.  When I see msyelf whining about 25 lbs, I just gotta put it in perspective don't I?  25 is much more managable than 160 was :)

Oh and I get my one year chip (again..lol) next month - God willing.

Love you guys!
Michelle

Congratulations on  your thirty days Trish.  Keep on going.  Glad to hear that you are starting a new program, Sorry to hear that you had to go through that with the last one, It is hard enough without dealing with a counselor that is unproffessional.  I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.  Continued success with your sobriety.

What is Chronic Illness?
"A chronic illness is a condition that lasts a year or longer, limits activity, and may require ongoing care. More than 125 million Americans have at least one chronic condition, such as diabetes, cancer, glaucoma, heart disease, Fibromyalga, Multiple Sclerosis, and Lupus. Nearly half as many have more than one chronic condition." 

Hello,
This group was specifically created for WLS candidates and post ops who like me face the unique challenges that living with a chronic illness may often present.  As individuals with a chronic illness, we face greater challenges that the typical mainstream weight loss surgery patient may not face. Sometimes we feel left out of the loop as we read about others who are doing certain activities that we are no longer able to fully tolerate.  

You may find the group by clicking on groups in your index. Once at groups, type in the word Chronic Illness in the search box and the correct group will appear.
 
Thank you for your interest,
Obesity Help Support Group Leader.

02/09 REFLECTION FOR THE DAY
The slogan "Live and Let Live" can be extremely helpful when we are having trouble tolerating other people's behavior.  We know for certain that nobody's behavior -- no matter how offensive, distasteful or vicious -- is worth the price of a relapse.  Our own recovery is primary, and while we must be unafraid of walking away from people or situations that cause us discomfort, we must also make a special effort to try to understand other people -- especially those who rub us the wrong way.  CAN I ACCEPT THE FACT, IN MY RECOVERY, THAT IT IS MORE IMPORTANT TO UNDERSTAND THAN TO BE UNDERSTOOD?

TODAY I PRAY
When I run headlong into someone's unpleasant behavior, may I first try my best to understand.  Then, if my own sobriety seems threatened, may I have the courage to remove myself from the situation.

TODAY I WILL REMEMBER
Live and let live.

02/08 REFLECTION FOR THE DAY
When we first stopped drinking, using, over-eating, or gambling, it was an enormous relief to find that the people we met in The Program seemed quite different than those apparently hostile masses known as "They."  We were met not with criticism and suspicion, but with understanding and concern.  However, we still encounter people who get on our nerves, both within The Program and outside it.  Obviously, we must begin to accept the fact that there ARE people who'll sometimes say things with which we disagree, or do things we don't like.  AM I BEGINNING TO SEE THAT LEARNING TO LIVE WITH DIFFERENCES IS ESSENTIAL TO MY COMFORT AND, IN TURN, TO MY CONTINUING RECOVERY?

TODAY I PRAY
May I recognize that people's differences make our world go around and tolerate people who "rub me the wrong way."  May I understand that I must give them room, that some of my hostile attitudes toward others may be leftovers from the unhealthy days when I tended to view others as mobilized against me.

TODAY I WILL REMEMBER
Learn to live with differences.