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It is good to have an end to journey towards; but it is the journey that matters in the end. ~Ursula K. LeGuin
REFLECTION FOR THE DAY
All my life, I looked to others for comfort, security and all the other things that add up to what I now call serenity. But I've come to realize that I was always looking in the wrong place. The source of serenity is not outside, but within myself. The kingdom is within me, and I already have the key. All I have to do is to be willing to use it. Am I using the tools of The Program on a daily basis? Am I willing?
TODAY I PRAY
God gave me the courage to seek out the kingdom inside myself, to find that well-spring within me which has its source in the never-ending, life-giving river of God. May my soul be restored there. May I find the serenity I seek.
TODAY I WILL REMEMBER
To seek the inner Kingdom.
It is good to have an end to journey towards; but it is the journey that matters in the end. ~Ursula K. LeGuin
People at work comment almost daily, my husband says he still sees changes in a positive way. I haven't really lost anything in the last two month though, maybe 3 pounds. I can intellectualize that there is a stall around 6 months, but I've been stalled for almost 7 weeks.
I am becoming less motivated and not following my program too. I know...get off your behind and exercise, eat protein first. I'm just not managing to do that right now. Potatoes go down so much easier than meat. Plus I have been having reactive hypoglycemic episodes, so I have to eat more carbs lately. So exericse is a kind of battle on it's own, since when I do my blood sugars go down to the 50's
Thanks for letting me vent. Any words of encouragement or 'I have been there too's' would be appreciated.
Because I didn't fill the empty places from the alcohol/pills/cigs with any real long lasting tools and learned how to deal any differently...it only made sense that I would gravitate towards SOMETHING...and that was the socially acceptable thing - food. I never got pulled over for eating a donut, I never had a hangover from cheetos and I never coughed up lung cookies from cheeseburgers.
Now that I have had surgery... I'm now wondering what my NEXT addiction is going to be... I can already tell you that I'm hitting more meetings, working harder in AA than I ever have because now I don't have the "fix" of food... so I have to find ways to cope and fill the empty spaces with tools and healthy "fixes" (like walking, meditating and other "balanced" things) rather than use my addictive personality to shop, gamble, sex... etc.
Take away someone's coping mechanism that they use that's outside of themselves and unless you replace it with something solid, supportive and consistant and positive then any addiction or maladaptive behavior is going to fill the empty spot.
Don't stop trying to get help. Fall down 99 times, get up 100. Don't give up and don't bull**** yourself
Binda
I have wasted enough of my life worrying about what people think of me.
My surgery was 04/03/03. I was never a real drinker. I would go and and drink socially. I faithfully went to my WLS support group for 2 years. Stayed on track with my vitamins and protien. Then I got married in 2006. My husband is a stay at home drinker. I'm not blaming him at all..... But I started doing the same. Then I got laid off from my job after being with them for 18 years. What was hard was that they kept the new person (only 1 year) and let go of 6 of us that had 17+ years with the company. I found myself drinking even more. I had been in denial and thought I could conquer it. I'm not succeeding. I started school and for an English Research paper I decided to do a research paper on Gaining Weight after WLS. But it's turned into Alcoholism and WLS.
Did you know that alcohol relaxes the body whi*****ludes the esophagus and stomach, which allows us to eat more? This has become an eye opening experience for me. Now I'm looking for an AA group to join. I cannot believe this has happened to me. I never really liked alcohol let alone beer. Now I can slam down a bottle in like 5 minutes.
There really needs to be a bigger forum for addiction transer (cross-addiction) on this site.
Just wanted to reintroduce myself and say...Thank you for being here.
I've updated my profile if you would like to know more about me. Hope you are all well and if not yet in recovery but in need of it...that you're on your way!
To visit LIPO (Long Island Post Ops) bariatric support group website click here: www.liponation.org
"WLS is a journey, not a destination (don't get comfortable) ... it's a road that we must travel daily to succeed". Faith Thomas
visit my blog at theessenceofmaryellen.com/
REFLECTION FOR THE DAY
Since I came to The Program, I've begun to recognize my previous inability to form a true partnership with another person. It seems that my egomania created two disastrous pitfalls. Either I insisted upon dominating the people I knew, or I depended on them far too much. My friends in The Program have taught me that my dependence meant demand -- a demand for the possession and control of the people and the conditions surrounding me. Do I still try to find emotional security either by dominating or being dependent on others?
TODAY I PRAY
May I turn first to God to satisfy my love-hunger, knowing that all He asks from me is my faith in Him. May I no longer cast emotional nets over those I love, either by dominating them or being excessively dependent upon them -- which is just another form of domination. May I give others the room they need to be themselves. May God show me the way to mature human relationships.
TODAY I WILL REMEMBER
To have faith in His love.
It is good to have an end to journey towards; but it is the journey that matters in the end. ~Ursula K. LeGuin
REFLECTION FOR THE DAY
We learn in The Program and its Twelve Steps that as we grow spiritually, we find that our old attitudes toward our instinctual drives need to undergo drastic revisions. Our demands for emotional security and wealth, for personal prestige and power, all hae to be tempered and redirected. We learn that the full satisfaction of these demands cannot be the sole end and aim of our lives. But when we're willing to place spiritual growth first -- then and only then do we have a real chance to grow in healthy awareness and mature love. Am I willing to place spiritual growth first?
TODAY I PRAY
May my development as a spiritual person temper my habitual hankerings for material security. May I understand that the only real security in life is spiritual. If I have faith in my Higher Power, these revisions in my attitudes will follow. May I grow first in spiritual awareness.
TODAY I WILL REMEMBER
Value for life of the spirit.
It is good to have an end to journey towards; but it is the journey that matters in the end. ~Ursula K. LeGuin
REFLECTION FOR THE DAY
Merely to change my behavior, and what I say and do, doesn't prove there's been a change in my actual inner attitude. I'm deceiving myself if I believe I can somehow completely disguise my true feelings. They'll somehow come through, prolonging the difficulties in my relationships with others. I have to avoid half-measures in getting rid of the trouble-some emotions. I've been trying to hide. Have I taken an honest inventory of myself?
TODAY I PRAY
May I know that feeling will come out somehow -- sometimes barely disguised as behavior that I cannot always understand. But that perhaps is more acceptable to me than the root emotion that caused it. May I be completely and vigilantly honest with myself. May I be given the insight that comes through depending upon a Higher Power.
TODAY I WILL REMEMBER
Feelings can come out "sideways".
It is good to have an end to journey towards; but it is the journey that matters in the end. ~Ursula K. LeGuin
