There's a hole in my sidewalk by Portia Nelson

Chapter One
I walk down the street
There's a deep hole in the sidewalk
I fall in
I'm lost. . . I'm helpless
It isn't my fault
It takes me forever to find a way out

Chapter 2
I walk down the same street
There's a deep hole in the sidewalk
I pretend I don't see it
I fall in again
I can't believe I'm in the same place
But it isn't my fault
It still takes a long time to get out

Chapter 3
I walk down the same street
There's a deep hole in the sidewalk
I see it there
I still fall in. . . it's a habit
My eyes are open
I know where I am
It is my fault
I get out immediately

Chapter 4
I walk down the same street
There's a deep hole in the sidewalk
I walk around it

Chapter 5
I walk down another street

You need to speak to a doctor or substance abuse counselor about what you are doing and how to get you the help you need.  They will let you know if you should be inpatient, extensive outpatient or outpatient.

If you continue on the path you are on..  it will only progress as it is a progressive disease and the consequences of YOUR actions will only get worse.  You will end up having to pay a "higher price" to become SOBER.. rather it's being caught by the police with daughter in vehicle.. or.. having a serious accident with daughter in vehicle.  I know you know these things.. and I know you want to stop but right now with the chemical in your body your body craves it.. and you can not stop without help.  Perhaps you need to be in a place where the alcohol is not as easy attainable.   YOU must let the "secret" out of the closet and share with a doctor or counselor so they can help you.. once it is out in the open it's not so scary and much easier to deal with.

You are not alone..  many on here have been exactly where you are now.  If possible go to an AA meeting..  listen to others who know exactly where you are!

Best wishes..