I need to confess something. I have finally decided to have WLS and now I am wavering thinking No, you can do it yourself..then I say OMG but u r so big, if u could have done it by yourself you would have done it by now
my life is hectic, single Mom two young kids, work fulltime etc.etc.etc...how could I manage th surgery and recovery? what about the risks and my kids are so young?
so I have been changing the way I am eating and for the first time in my life, something has 'clicked' in my head..i may have some head hunger'craving' like french firies, I will eat one or two and then throw it out..it is weird it doesn't taste the same to me anymore
I am eating high protein, low carb, low sugar and low fat- lost 10 lbs already but I need to lose a whole person, the amount just seems overwhelming
I am also having trouble finding exercise time, kids are up before 6am, if i get up earlier and make any noise they wake up..evenings are busy with soccer etc..
I have been using my lunch hours at work for exercise and 2 nights a week I do aquafit, it is not enuf for my body..my body is very tough and likes to hold onto the weight..I used to workout 1-2 hours a day with a trainer in a gym and after 7 months of this I only lost 15 lbs..so it is very very frustrating
So, I am going thru the process of WLS here in Ontario and it canbe long and they do oodles of tests, which is great, less post op problems..so will keep dieting and exercising and see how it goes until surgery time and hopefully will have made up my mind by then

my biggest hurdle with the WLS is that I cannot wrap my head around making such a drastic physiological change to my organs..i am such freak bout things

so I welcome all advice and criticism to help get off this darn fence

You are doing great!  Unfortunately the smaller you get the harder it is to take off the pounds.  Patience will be needed but I know you will do it! 

Thanks for tip on WW and TOPS.  I figured as much since I definitely know that is the key for WW since I have did that so many times.  That is the reason I am doing TOPS--cheaper.  I plan to visit 3 TOPS meetings before I decide on one.  By next Thursday I will decide where I fit best.  If I do not get a good vibe at any of these I will keep looking.  The good thing about living around Chicago is the selections are huge. 

Thanks for checking and have a good week and appreciate each pound you lose.  Losing is better than gains.  You are truly inspirational for me!!

OMG - well first what a fabulous start at WW and you're sticking to the program which is great.

And then YIKES - you poor thing, all that stress and then your heart. You've had a rough few days.

I'm so glad that both your Mom and brother are getting getting out of the hospital. and you posted later that your heart converted back to normal sinus rhythm - that's a scary feeling in your chest. Take good care of yourself.

OMG - at first I was horrified by this post - I am so humiliated that I allowed myself to get so large. I have blocked out my highest weights from my memory and along with that some of my most embarrassing moments. There is tremendous pain and it's good to release some of it in this wonderful and safe company.

As I read everyone's post - I saw myself in them, It's healthy to laugh about those things. After all everyone has embarrassing moments as part of being human. Anyone here walk out of the bathroom with toilet paper stuck to their shoe? How about their skirt tucked into their pantyhose?

I have also been stuck in a booth and needed DH to help me out. It didn't help that my knees were crippled with arthritis at the time and my myositis (inflammation of the muscles) was bad so I could hardly stand - so getting stuck was icing on the cake. The worst thing about it was the table dug into my stomach and hurt the whole meal and the food was dreadful.

Michelle, I have a similar story to yours - only a little worse. My first daughter had to be put in isolation in the NICU for 24 hours after her birth so I had to walk there to see her. While I was looking in the window, one of the delivery RN's asked me when I was going to deliver my baby. Yes, this was someone who works there and delivers babies thought I was still pregnant the day after I gave birth. She did feel bad about her mistake, but it didn't stop me from hurting.

DH and I were among a small group of scientists invited to South Korea to attend a conference give presentations. They also sent us on some wonderful sightseeing tours. DH and I knew this group - we all work in the same field and most of them we had met in person before and continue to meet. The sightseeing tours were held in minivan type vehicles - except these were really high up off the ground like a truck - and I'm height challenged. In the states here they have either a running board or carry a step stool to help you step up into the van - but not in Korea. I couldn't get into these vans and had to be pushed up into them - awful - two men pushing me up and then I had to crawl in and then stand up to sit in a seat. DH and I were both obese and we were squishing everyone else in the seats because there was no extra room. The happiest day was when DH figured out he could lift up the arm lift at the edge of the seat and leave part of his butt off the chair thereby making more room for the three of us on the seat. And everyone else was physically fit too and younger - when we went to the DMZ (demilitarized zone) they took us to this very deep and steep entrance down into a cave where the South Koreans had dug and almost penetrated through an underground tunnel - they had planned to attack SK by surprise. Anyhow DH and I were huffing and puffing and realized that we could never get down, see the tunnel and get back in time - so we only went down a small distance, let the rest go ahead and then we started to go back up. By the time we got back up - huffing and puffing, the other members of our group had been all the way down, been through the tunnel section and had hiked all the way back up. We were so embarrassed. I regret that I hadn't lost my weight and gotten in better shape before this trip of a lifetime. thankfully the good memories out weight the bad and DH and I can laugh about this stuff now.

Molly, it's so good to see how well you're doing now.

I'm going to hang my head in shame here - I said last week I would get my Wi fit up and going and it's still collecting dust. May this is the week I'll get my act together? Maybe tomorrow?

I want to shed the rest of my weight this month - I'm sick of tire of my hanging skin and I'm starting to dream about reconstructive surgery - LOL. However I have to face the reality that my weight loss is slowing down and, well I seem to be losing 1 pound a week now. It's going to be very slow losing these last 25 pounds. I'm frustrated but it's reality.

BTW with WW and TOPS etc. the plans are good - but it all depends on the leaders of the group and the group dynamics - sometimes it's a great fit and sometimes you're just the square peg that doesn't fit into the round hole. I hope your group is a good match for your needs and yes there is something about weighing in these kinds of situations to help keep you honest.