Thank you both so much for your replies! And to know Im not the only one in that situation! Sometimes thinking about it makes me feel so guilty, but I do feel very happy for her. Im so glad I decided to join this board :)

I would love to post my story! I will get back to it when I have a chance to sit and type for a bit! Thanks for sharing yours! How is your recovery going? what (ps) procedures have you had done? I had 2 ps consults this last week but had to cancel due to some other health issues and a over crowded schedule, but I plan to reschedule them soon, did  your insureance pay for any of the procedures or were they out of pocket? mine will be out of pocket....   

Hi everyone! Im Stacie I'm  new to the boards and hoping that maybe adding this form of support will help. I would like to say help with this 'journey' but it actually feels more like an everlasting roller coaster these days. I have read a lot on the other boards about wls. For many reasons that's just not an option for me at this point in time. Im currently 5'6 (female lol) and my weigh-in at weigh****chers Thursday was 264. I have a slightly athletic build, both a blessing and a curse I suppose. I always say I'll always have the legs of a soccer player and not a supermodel. And I have heard more than once that "theres no way you weigh that much!" Ahhh.....but I do, and I know the truth behind the numbers lol. Back in May of this year I quit smoking and thats when I went up to 267. At one point I had been at around 240 ish went to around 220 ish with smaller portion sizes and a lot of walking. Not all in the course of this year, this has all been the last couple years I've been in between the 220 ish and where I am now.

When I was using weigh****chers earlier this year it seemed to be working for me and It was relatively easy to follow because you don't really have to deprive yourself of anything with the points system. So now I'm back to give it another try. Which I'm very excited about.

So here's the part I could use a little support with, I have a friend who is going in for wls next week. I have a friend going in for wls surgery and I am ecstatic for her. However, I can't help but feel a little left behind as well. I hope that doesn't sound selfish although it probably is. I have always been obsessed with losing the weight. Above all I want to be healthy but of course I want to look better too. Lately every free minute I have is spent looking for different diet plans, different methods to try and just reading about weight loss in general. My other obstacle is exercise, as much as I know I need to I dread it! I did enjoy walking before but I really just don't enjoy that as much anymore. I did have an exercise bike but that is no longer an option, as I found out there is a difference between a spinning bike and a stationary bike lol. At least I can say it wasn't underused though!

Well thank you everyone for listening and I hope to meet a lot of wonderful people here! I feel as though maybe if I add in more of the support aspect maybe that will be what I need to get on track and stay on track. I do just want to add as well that I have a wonderfully supportive husband and 2 beautiful children.He is very supportive but it's also hard for him to fully understand all the struggles that come with it. Thank you again everyone! :)

I would love to hear them. I think sometimes looking back is the only way to look foreword!

Sounds like a great book...I am headed to a on to find it. If you can I totally suggest the "Made to Crave" book, DVD and participants guide. It is full of excellent questions and scripture. The author is hilliarious as well!

I know it can be done and I hope more than anything that it can be maintained. I am terrified at gaining it back. I read the other boards and cringe. I am trying, very hard, to work though the underlying causes of my overeating. My belief is that if I don't work this addiction as an addiction it will consume me again. Some mentioned to me the other day that I needed to start a "maitainance" diet and add many of the drug foods back in....I could only think that is why so many fail....we return to our bottle or needle over and over again.