What is it you like? My kids think they are getting a huge treat when I make muffins that are primarily zuchinni, carrots, pumpkin and applesauce.....they are a treat because they have chocolate chips in them.

what are your favorite snacks?

Hello my friends.  It has been an emotional couple of days here.  Thankfully I have read a ton and know that buyers remorse is part of healing.  I miss my kids, my 4 year old son has been in the house with me 30 minutes tops since I have been home.  My dad has kept him which has been a huge blessing but I miss him!  My 7 year old daughter has been around a little more....but she sits and mopes missing her brother.. They are both gone right now.  I digress...

I come from a fat family.  My mom had gastric bypass when I was under 10.  I don't remember much about it but I can remember she would crave this or that.  I can also remember her measuring desert into her little cup.  She too lost a lot of weight and had a tummy tuck.  She claims that she went wrong when she started drinking diet pop, again.  I can remember her shaking it up to get the fizz down.  Please know that I adore my momma....but I learned young that there were "skinny *****es' in the world and us....it always seemed that 'they' never had to work for it.

The old man was always a big guy.  He loved sweets and big portions.  He used to say the meanest things to us.  He would tell us we would be having gastric by the time we were 15 just to fit in the door.   As kids he would comment that we were little hams and should be rolled in sugar.  I realize some of what he said was in an attempt to change our eating but it was mean.  He *constantly* would say things like "I couldn't believe it, I saw a big ol gall, about your size walking in six inch heels.  Whatever.  My mean voice still refers to me as big ol gal.  My dad had gastric when I was 17.

My mother was notorious for putting us on crazy diets.  We would go like crazy from January until. Easter.....but when that candy came home it was over, all was regained and we started again later.  My sister remains obese.  My brother had gastric 9 years ago and continues to struggle.

So to me.  I found a journal where my marked weight was 196, my goal size was a 12 and I listed my age at 14.  I know I was over 215 upon graduation.  I met my husband in 2001. With him I decided to quit chewing (I am so disgusted I did that for so long). My weight rocketed to 287. I started again and lost back to the 220s. A combination of bulimia and severe restriction diets got me to almost 200 on my wedding day in 2003.  I gained 20 lbs on our week cruise!!  The first time I weighed in2005, when pregnant with my daughter I was 286....at her birth I know I was 300. I only ever saw 296 on the scale but I know.   

Every successful weightloss I ever had was the result of diet and movement.  After my daughter was born I lost into the 220s by using six week body makeover and my treadmill.  When I became pregnant with my son my husband had been hurt at work so he and my daughter baked everyday.  I gained 60lbs!  That was April 2008.  I went back to moving and eating better and found myself back in the 220s.  I spent a lot of life there.  

For. Christmas 2009  I asked for a bodybugg.....best gift ever.  I was obsessed.  I logged every food and found myself cleaning just to burn more calories.  I learned how my bite of this and little of that had a huge impact on my weigh in!  I could eat anything g so long as I logged it.  At the end of a bad week I had it right there as to why my weight didn't budge....it was the best too ever but I had to be honest about everything.  I lost 70 lbs in 2011 (sorry chisstmas 2010 not 09).   I kept moving and getting faster and faster.  I was totally consistent.  I had an occasional treat * occasional*

i have to get up...that is a long ordeal so I will post this and be back.