O/T - Saturday Funnies

Dear Noah,

We could have sworn you said the ark wasn't leaving till 5.

Sincerely,

Unicorns

 

Dear Twilight fans,

Please realize that because vampires are dead and have no blood pumping through them, they can never get an erection.  Enjoy fantasizing about that.

Sincerely,

Logic

 

Dear Icebergs,

Sorry to hear about the global warming. It's karma's fault.

Sincerely,

The Titanic

 

Dear J.K. Rowling,

Your books are entirely unrealistic. I mean, a ginger kid with two friends?

Sincerely,

Anonymous

 

Dear America ,

You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment.

Sincerely,

Canada

 

Dear Yahoo,

I've never heard anyone say, "I don't know, let's Yahoo! it..." just saying..

Sincerely,

Google

 

Dear 2010,

So I hear the best rapper is white and the president is black? What happened?!

Sincerely,

1985

 

Dear Windshield Wipers,

Can't touch this.

Sincerely,

That Little Triangle

  

Dear girls who have been dumped,

There are plenty of fish in the sea... Just kidding! They're all dead.

Sincerely,

BP

 

Dear Saturn,

I liked it, so I put a ring on it.

Sincerely,

God

 

Dear Fox News,

So far, no news about foxes.

Sincerely,

Unimpressed

 

Dear jf;ldsfa/kvsmmklnn,

Please lknvfdmv.xvn.

Sincerely,

Stevie Wonder

 

Dear Nickleback,

That's enough.

Sincerely,

The World

 

Dear Skin-Coloured Band Aids,

Please make one for every skin color.

Sincerely,

Black people

 

Dear Scissors,

I feel your pain.....no one wants to run with me either.

Sincerely,

Sarah Palin

 

Dear World of Warcraft,

Thank you for ensuring my son's virginity.

Sincerely,

Parents Everywhere

 

Dear Batman,

What was your power again?

Sincerely,

Superman

 

Dear Customers,

Yes, we ARE making fun of you in Vietnamese.

Sincerely,

Nail Salon Ladies

 

Dear Americans,

I'm sorry, did you just insult us? I couldn't hear you over my health care benefits.

Sincerely,

Canadians

 

Dear Global Warming,

You're the best imaginary friend ever!

Sincerely,

Al Gore

 

Dear Ugly People,

You're welcome.

Sincerely,

Alcohol

 

Dear Mr. Gump

What are you talking about? There's a little diagram on the lid that tells you EXACTLY what you're gonna get...

Sincerely,

Jenny

 

Dear Katy Perry,

I liked the kiss too.

Sincerely,

Justin Bieber

 

Dear Martin Luther King Jr.

I have a dream within a dream within a dream within another dream....

What now?

Sincerely,

Leonardo Di Caprio

 

Dear World,

Please stop freaking out about 2012. Our calendars ends there because some Spanish d-bags invaded our country and we got a little busy ok?

Sincerely,

The Mayans

 

Dear White People,

Don't you just hate immigrants?

Sincerely,

Native Americans

 

Dear iPhone,

Please stop spellchecking all of my rude words into nice words. You piece of shut.

Sincerely,

Every iPhone User

 

Dear Giant Spider on the Wall,

Please die. Please die. Please die. Please die. CRAP! Where did you go?

Sincerely,

Terrified

 

Dear Trash,

At least you get picked up...

Sincerely,

The Girls of Jersey Shore

 

Dear Man,

It's cute, but can you pick up peanuts with it?

Sincerely,

Elephant

 

Dear Dr. Phil,

Look man, there's only room for one fake doctor in this world and I was here first.

Sincerely,

Dr. Pepper

lmao o my loved those, made the whole family stop and listen to them.  Thanks for the funny for the day :)

OMG thank you so much had a ****ty few days and just when i was about to pull my hair out (fig of speach lol) i read this and lmao instread than ks

 LOL. Thanks for the laugh! Some of these I actually really lol'ed!