Ignorant Comments

Marny, your experience hurt my heart...and made me sad...for you and for the gentleman that was beside you....I also am a firm believer in what goes around comes around....  I was in Food Basics a couple of weeks ago, and there was a very large gal in a scooter, and I just wanted to scream at her...there is help for you!!  because I've been where you are...I went around the corner and shed a tear for her...not really knowing her story or how she got there...it just made me more determined to make my surgery work!!  Patti K.

Fat prejudice is still accepted by much of society because it is seen as a moral failing, much in the same way that drug addicts are seen to have a moral problem rather than a health problem. This comes from ignorance about the many factors that lead people to become overweight. People blessed with the genes, income and opportunities to be physically fit from birth often can't get their head around the idea that some people are fat due to their cir****tances, just as they are thin due to theirs. People are extremely resistant to thinking of obesity as a disease. This is while I am a proponent of post-ops sharing their surgery experience with people - it puts the proper view out there that obesity is a life-threatening condition that requires medical and surgical intervention to reverse in the long-term.
I can't imagine the shame that man must have felt standing there with his family. I like to hope that people like that guy in the car get what's coming to them at some point, but I don't think the world works that way without the intervention of people willing to stand up for the shamed and call out the shamers. Realizing that people aren't just going to take it is sometimes enough to shut their mouths. So I hope that guy tries a stunt like that around me sometime, I don't have to worry about kids or setting a good example or anything like that, so I know he'll get what's coming to him :)

(((((Hugs)))))) been there so often that I cringe going by crowds. No one says anything anymore. even though I still expect it every time.

Think of it this way -- -you are in the process of change of your every day life - getting healthier, moving more and overall, getting healthier. 

Those guys, well they have no chance to improve.  Unfortunately for them, there is no cure for stupid.

Dawn

You need to remember that some people are just idiots,  they think it's cool and impressing their friends to act like a jerk. just let it roll off your shoulders, and forget about it. 

A couple years ago when i was 260lbs I was walking down the street with two of my friends, and a car full of guys drove by and one yells out the window "go on a diet!!!" i was embarrassed, and acted like I didnt hear it and kept on talking, but my one very skinny "friend" beside me was laughing.  I was embarrassed.

Fast forward to 8 months ago, at 130 lbs,  it was about 9 at night and my friend and i were crossing the street in front of my house when a car full of young guys goes by and one sticks his head out the window and yells '****S!!!"   so remember, some people look to make comments about anything, and weight is the easiest thing to target.  i remember feeling so bad because i struggle with body images as well, and here i was, feeling good in a pair of jeans and a t-shirt

In high school even though i was about 160# I was fortunate that i did have alot of friends, but chose not to hang out with the big popular crowds, but I wasnt made fun of either, people liked me.  I  was on the bus, and the kids in the back were picking on a girl, and i told them to knock it off, this new  kid  was trying to get in with the "cool kids" and assumed i was a loser and target because of my weight says to me " how did you even get on the bus, i could fit in one leg of your pants"  I responded  " why are you even on the bus, with ears as big of yours you could fly home faster!!  All the kids around him started saying BURN, and laughing at HIM instead... He turned beet red, and  didnt know what to say and Im glad he got to feel the same as he was making other people feel .  

I think people make fun of other people because they are insecure about themselves and try to make themselves feel superior by knocking people down.  You cant let ignorant jackasses like that get to you, its not worth your time.  Just forget about it.  If it's not weight, you'll get a comment at some point about your hair, or your looks, or your clothes etc... it's part of life.    

OMG Marny.. you look amazing and i'm sure you feel amazing!! don't let the stupid people in this world bother you.. just a waste of energy!  BUT.. in MY opinion, the world will never change.. people will always comment on fat people.  years ago i got my first job, fresh out of college, i was 17, got a secretarial job at firestone.. i though wow.. big company like that... i got it made (they're now defunct) had to get a physical by the company doc.. i was very young ok and about 210lbs (not that i'm proud of that by no means)... sitting in the waiting room in the company doc's office surrounded by all these gorgeous guys waiting for their big job in the factory.  i had to get weighed in front of all these gorgeous guys.. i coulda died!  the physicals.  i worked with a guy who looked like the (overweight version) of John Goodman (TV hubby of Roseanne). the company doc pulled out this chart with the weights & heights... said i was too fat for my height.. literally he said i was too fat!  you can't work here!  i didn't cry in front of him.. oh no!  went back to my desk got my stuff and the guy i worked with said where you going and i said the doc said i couldn't work here i'm too fat and i left!  i cried all the way to the bus stop in my new shoes (which were killing my feet).  my mom wanted to go to the spectator.. make a big story of it! maybe i woulda lost the weight back then. i went to ministry of labour.. there's nothing in the books about discrimination about weight.  i was scared everytime i went for a job interview... worried it would happen again.  it's a ****ty world out there!  i don't think it will ever change!  i thought that since there seem to be more o/weight kids, people around that fat was a little more acceptable.  i guess i'm wrong.

Y'know, you just can't fix stupid.  Obesity and looks are the last of a dying PC no-no.  Do you know that I had a couple of kids whispering at a bus stop the other day that I was fat because of my clotting disease in my feet?  HAHAHAHA  Puh-leeze. Not sure when a size 6/8 qualified as fat these days.   Unfortunately, it doesn't go away. Rise above.  No comments ever made to them will EVER change their behaviour and you're (we're) better than that.

If I had a nickel for every rude comment aimed specifically at me and my size, I would have considerably more money than I have right now. Oddly enough, that kind of behavior is learned at home and in the school yard. This behavior is not limited to children and young adults, it is something that goes on in all ages, cultures and religious denominations. It would be nice to believe that everyone is compassionate and understanding towards those who are different but that is not always the case.  

I as a fat person learned to deal with it as best I could and at a young age. Now that I have had the surgery, I just refuse to accept comments like those anymore. If someone looks, point or makes a fat comment, I walk right up to that person and I want to know just how perfect he\she is. As I am doing that, I try to imagine what kind of influence this person has growing up. If I hear a comment aimed at another obese person, I will step up too. If enough of these imbeciles get embarrassed enough, maybe they will learn to think before they speak. But some people just don't learn and will never learn.

This just breaks my heart for all of us.  When will people learn to be kind to one another?  I just don't understand this type of behaviour.  Cruelty is never ok and that is just plain cruel, no matter who it was directed to.

You know, I'm not a stupid person.
I'm fairly literate, I have a wide range of knowledge.
But I just think fast on my feet like some people can.
I always thinks of a good retort four hours later, you know?

I was waiting to cross the street one day several summers ago, and carload of young snotnosed jerks went by. One of them hollered at me "you got big boobs, lady!".
Stood there with my mouth open.
Quick as a flash, my (blong and cute and size 8) girlfriend shouted back, "Yeah? Well you gotta big mouth, jerkoff!"

I howled with laughter. It felt so good to get back at the idiots.
But that's so not the way it usually happens.
Stupid is as stupid does, and like Karen says, there ain't no cure for stupid.

While I agree with Karen that you just can't fix stupid - I think there comes a time where I think it's healthy for for some people, to mouth back.

O-Shae makes a good point:  If someone looks, point or makes a fat comment, I walk right up to that person and I want to know just how perfect he\she is.

Many folks say rude things because they're USED to getting away with it.  When confronted (esp in front of others/their peers) often they are quite embarrassed.  (except maybe young/stupid males in bunches - there you have a 50/50 shot of cutting them down, because... well..  they're stupid) :)

Sometimes stooping to their level is the best medicine.  If so: Go for the jugular.  Ask them when they plan to get their nose/teeth fixed.  Or when they plan to have laser removal for all that ugly facial hair on their chins/upper lip.  Compliment them off handed by saying: You used to have a really nice figure yourself: when are you planning to deal with your saggy tits?  Hit their vanity. Hit it hard.