Contemplating RNY but scared

Hello all, I have been looking on your wonderful forum and doing alot of research.  I have a few questions and I don't mean to sound like a newbie.... but I am. lol
I have thought about this surgery for along time and I always end up talking myself out of it.  What makes me nervous is of coarse, something going wrong.  It seems like bowel obstruction is commen.  For those who have had this, was it still worth it?  For those who haven't had complications, I was wondering what everyday life was like?  Is there always discomfort, dry heaves or nausea?  The work that you put into losing weight since the surgery, is it easier or harder than before surgery?  including any pain?
I would so love to be thin and healthy, but how do you know if it is going to cause more problems than before?
Sorry to go on and on, but as you already know it is a huge decision.
Alittle about myself, I'm going to be 46 this October, am I still young enough to get this done?  I have three grown children and am a grandmother of a little girl that is a week away from being one.  I have been overweight all my adult life and weight 246lbs and it isn't getting better, I have tried everything and always fail.  I have highblood pressure now and take antacid prescription too.
Thank you so much for listening to me and for any replies you wish to share with me.
Brenda

Hey! welcome to the forum...

its good that you're taking the time to think this through. It's a big deal.

I had surgery almost 6 months ago. I just turned 47 a month ago.

I feel normal. I can eat out with friends, and dont feel like a freak. Every day life is very normal for me, except that i track everything i eat (i use livestrong.com myplate)

its difficult, at the beginning. You have to go on optifast (liquid diet ) for two to four weeks, prior to surgery

after surgery, the eating stages arent easy, full fluids, pureed, soft foods. It's weird.

I had no pain, once i left the hospital. Lots of people mostly have gas pain, which is relieved by walking and farting.

I don't personally know anyone who has had a bowel obstruction. I do know people who have had complications, including leaks, strictures, hernias.

every surgery has potential complications. You could die in the dentists chair, however, too.

Prior to having surgery, i had been obese or morbidly obese for almost 20 yrs.

Now, i can shop in a normal store (still in large sizes, but i'll get there)

i can walk long distances without feeling like i'm going to die.

I can lean down to flip open my gas thingie without opening the door and leaning way out

i no longer feel like the hugest person in the room.

I feel beautiful again.

I wish i had done this 15 years ago. All of this has been totally worth it to me.

You should maybe find a support group in  your area, and talk with someone for real.

good luck with your decision.

Wow Monica, you convinced me all over again! Lol

convinced myself too! lol

Hi Brenda...and welcome...I think when we came on board...we all read and read and read...researched to the nines!!  I was 56 when I had my RNY.  That was 3 years ago now.  I was like the turtle...not the hare...slow and steady...weight loss.  I have lost what my Dr. wrote for goal for me...plus a few!!  I think anyone on here would say, their only regret was not having WLS sooner...but maybe...sooner we wouldn't be ready for it eh??  Every surgeons' office have their own rules to follow.  Mine wanted us to start eating "real" food by week #3, and no protein drinks, only the first 2 weeks.  I have had no complications.   I am by no means thin, but...I am 90% healthier than I was pre-wls.  WLS is only a tool...not a 100% fix...anyone will tell you that!!  You're right, it is a huge decision that only you can make...good luck on your journey....Patti K.

although your health problems are just beginning, you are now at a high risk of a lot of different things. So consider these to be your complications without surgery such as diabetes, risk of heart attack, risk of stroke and multiple cancers that you are twice as likely to get within the next 10 to 20 years because of morbid obesity. There is a reason why it is "morbid" obesity.

I run a support group and we have literally hundreds of people that have walked through the door. Most have minor issues-- strictures, deficiencies, ulcers, gallstones, kidney stones etc. I can count the number of people on one hand that have had serious issues like a bowel obstruction. I personally don't know of a single person *****grets surgery in my group --- even the ones who had the serious issues.

Interestingly enough I have 2 members who only found out that they had serious issues when they had their surgery. They were told that there livers were so fatty that they would have died within a few years had they not had surgery. Neither had any symptoms or clue that they were headed towards a certain death. Surgery saved their lives!

so you have to weigh good and the bad and make a decision for your health.you have to decide What will possibly give you a long-term odds at better health.

 Hi, I'm 57 and had my rny 3 1/2 weeks ago. I met a woman in the Guelph clinic where I had mine done and she had it done at 61, so you are young!
When I first spoke to my family doctor about wls he explained to me in pretty straight forward terms, the risks to my health of staying obese are far greater than the risks of the surgery. I started my research and here Iam. 
After surgery I had some problems as I lost a lot of blood, but they had to repair a hermia for me and clear away scar tissue from gallbladder surgery and a total hysterectomy. So for a few days I felt pretty crummy, but I have felt great since. I feel completely normal other than eating small portions very slowly. I'll be weighing myself tomorrow when I go back to the clinic for my 3 1/2 weeks check up with the nurse and dietician, I feel like I've lost more weight and people are noticing  and complimenting me. 
One other thing to mention is that we have folllowup with the clinic for 5 years post surgery, and they are available by phone during normal work hours if we have a question. I would do this again even if it only meant I lost the 35 pounds I know I've lost so far, that is how good I feel.
Good luck with your research and here is to you making the right decision for you!!
Jackie

Welcome to the Ontario forum Brenda. It is a big decision and I think everyone is a little afraid of the possible complications, but being morbidly obese has it's own problems. I had my surgery one day before my 49th birthday and I'm now 8 months post-op.  I haven't had any complications and eat quite normally only a whole lot less than I used too.  I think that the biggest change in my daily routine is making sure that Itake my vitamins and supplements daily and I too track all my food using an online tool. (myfitnesspal.com)

I too used to have high blood pressure but shortly after my surgery I was able to stop taking the medication and my blood pressure is now on the normal to low side.

I walk pretty much everyday and have both an exercise bike and an eliptical for when the weather is bad because I live in the country and going to the gym isn't very convenient.

I have lost 106 lbs, including what I lost during the Optifast stage and I can't say that it has been hard although you do need to stay focused and determined to make good food choices. I find that I'm not hungry and that the portions satisfy me.

I do not regret having the surgery for a minute; although I do wish I had it sooner. As Patti said it's an amazing tool, but it's not a cure and you do have to stick to the program.

Good luck in deciding what is right for you.

Hi, I'm fairly new to the forum myself.  I started this journey last April 17th with a doctors referal and I have been given the green light from social worker, dietician and nurse.  I did a lot of research before I asked for the referal, the internet is a farily good source of info.  This forum is excellent, these wonderful men and women have soo much knowledge and are eager to share it.  You couln't be in better hands.  I also purchased a book The Real Skinny on Weight Loss Surgery by Julie  Janeway, Karen Sparks (Canadian) and Randal Baker, MD

How wonderful for all of you giving me your advice.  You know, I forgot about all the risks there are to being this heavy.... but you guys are very helpful.  I can't believe what a support network you have here.
I don't know if any of you have heard of Dr. Lance Levy in Toronto, he is a great Dr.  He said I would quaily for the surgery but he feels with Concerta (he feels I have ADD) I will naturally lose the weight, because it will take away my compulsion.  I love the effects of this med and it has helped me with many things, but it has been almost 3 months and haven't seen much on the weightloss front.  I get worried he won't refer me, but I'm pretty sure that this is what I want to do.  Now I worry what if they won't do it for me....
You are great, thank you thank you thank you for responding, you have no idea how much it means to me.
Brenda