Maybe I am Not Ready

Up until now I have dealt with my fear rather easily in regards to this surgery and had weighed so many sides.  I feel like I have been approaching this situation with a level head, researching, learning about my body and preparing for this wonderful tool.

I am halfway through my appointments now and should have surgery by December/January but the tragic death of Wendy photomom i****ting me hard in a way like no other surgery related death has ever. I suddenly can't breathe right or think straight related to the surgery.

I wonder if this is a sign that I am not ready to take this step and that I need more time to get ready.

It could also just be the anxiety that is grabbing a hold of me on a purely situational basis right now.

Only you know if you're ready or not but you're not alone with what you're experiencing.

During the appointment phase I had many moments of doubt and panic. I was new when there was a post about a member who passed away (can't remember his name but there was a log of debating back & forth about it) and thought "what the hell am I doing to myself??"

Take a deep breath. What I did was write down all the reasons for surgery. And whenever I had those moments of panic, I'd read it.

While it is horrible what happened to Wendy we all need to keep in mind the risks. If we do nothing and continue on with all this yoyo dieting what harm are we doing to our body? While we wont develop medical problems with being too thin look what is down the road for us with being obese. Heart attack, stroke, arthritis, decreased mobility etc...

Not doing anything I believe puts us at more risk. When we dont have all the details it does increase anxiety and fears and that is certainly normal. I believe it helps keep things in prepective.  We will be followed for 5 years, follow the rules, take our vitamins and try not to fall back into bad habits and we can decrease our risk. I would give TWH a call and ask to speak to your SW if you need to talk out your fears, they can help.

My heart goes out to Wendy and her family.

Leslie

Calling the social worker is a good idea Leslie, thanks for suggesting it.

I agree that only you know what is best for you.
 
I do want to say however that perhaps we are jumping to conclusions about Wendy's manner of death. Yes her passing is tragic and I send the utmost sincere condolences to her loved ones but we do not know for sure that her passing was directly related to her weight loss surgery.

I'm not here to talk you out of your decision but when you read on here all the success stories and how people have regained their lives after being trapped in a body they didn't belong in, an you read about people being able to play with their children on a trampoline or they can walk for miles without feeling the effects....

I was going through the appointment phase when David passed away and had the same thoughts as you did but I thought about all the things I mentioned above and though, I'd rather enjoy life and be happy today than worry about all the tomorrows. I take my vitamins, always protein first and make sure I follow the "rules" to a tee. I'm down fifty pounds and haven't felt this good for as long as I can remember.

I wish you nothing but the best with whatever decision you make and know that I sincerely care.
Ann 

WELL SAID!

I just wanted to say, that even tho I did not personally know Wendy, no one seems to know the exact cause of her death. It may not have even been WLS related, she may have had underlying issues that she didn't talk about to anyone or futhermore, did not know she had.

Every surgery has risks!

If you follow the rules, you will succeed.

I am very sure that you have done your research and are probably more ready for this surgery then you realize. But, if you feel that you need to go see Jairo, then go. Talk to him about what you are feeling and he can help you work thru it.

I hope the situation with Wendy doesn't stop you from having WLS but whatever you decide, good luck and just make sure it's the right choice for you.

Leanne

THANK YOU HAPPYPANTS AND LEANNE1!

If you are having concerns, talk with the social worker, talk with the psychologist.  Think about what you are planning to have done with your body.  If you aren't ready for the changes in lifestyle that will be required, perhaps you aren't ready and need some more time.

I wish the various programs had a stronger psychological support component as it is MAJOR life altering decision and has effects before and after surgery, dealing both with food issues and body image.

Again, I know pinkjellybean has done her research (she has been thorough and asked very good questions and brought up legitimate concerns), but if she is having doubts at this stage and is being swayed by partial information and online speculation (sorry we still DO NOT know what happened and if it was truly related to WLS), perhaps she does need to evaluate what her needs/priorities are at this phase...calling the social worker and talking to a psychologist/counsellor would be another very intelligent step undertaken by this bright lady!

Thanks so much for the compliments : )

Truthfully, I feel a lot better now.  It was one of those WHAT THE HECK moments - I am deeply swayed by my love of my children who are 2.5 and 5 years old.  I work in the psych/social work field so I am likely a little more connected to my emotional side then some people - Haha.  My senses get heightened and I start to examine whether thoughts I'm having are irrational or rational and I think based on taking a deep breath and reviewing almost everything that I know about this surgery and about myself - that I was just having a whimiscal moment of panic.  Everyone has been so thoughtful and considerate and helpful with such kind responses.

I am so grateful and fortunate to have found a board like this.

I go to the support group also so I know I've got a lot of opportunities to work out any additional anxiety that comes up a long the way....plus my psych assess is up and coming too.

Truthfully when I think about it now I feel that anxiety is a necessary component of the surgery process for me - it forces me to examine and learn so much more about the surgery and my body and prepares me in a way that wouldn't be possible if I just shrugged my shoulders and lightly decided to "have weight loss surgery".

I think ANY seriously life changing/altering decision HAS to come with anxiety about doing the right thing.  If you didn't have doubts or concerns up to the date of surgery, you wouldn't be a human being in my opinion!

As Karen M said, you are the only person who can answer the "am I ready" question, however talking to the social worker and psychologist can help you rationalize the right answer for you...

I still talk to my counsellor...it's helped me with my continuing (yes continuing almost one year later!) food and body image issues.  Plus the cool folks on this board have been truly supportive and my family, after seeing my successes have also helped as well!

Only you know if you're ready for this.  But I think you already know, you may just need someone help bring that answer from inside you!

 

I haven't made a decision not to have the surgery - not yet at least.

I just wonder if one word of concern causes me so much anxiety then maybe I need a longer process to wait for my surgical day or something. 

Just nervous I guess - I expected to be fearful but it never came so I am guessing it is just my time to worry for a while and let it pass.