Maybe I am Not Ready

Everyone has fears about surgery or you wouldn't be normal lol. I agree that it would be a good idea to call and make an appointment with the social worker at the centre, perhaps she/he can set some of your fears straight for you.

Oh and BTW, I was scared ****LESS!! too

You are probably nervous ;) We all get that way, it's natural.

I was nervous, excited (to start my "new" life), and scared. I remember the day I went for surgery, I wanted to vomit, I was soooo nervous and excited. When I was walking into the OR, my bf got a pic of me walking in with the nurse, I turned, thru my fat leg in the air, gave him a thumbs up and laughed. I had the people in the waiting room in stitches (LOL). That was the last day of being FAT for me!

PJB, you've got up until the doctor puts that needle in your arm and puts you to sleep, to decide not to have the surgery. My advice would be to just keep going to your appts, use your supports, take your time and make your decision slowly.

We all have moments of doubt, and this recent news is horrible, and would make anyone reconsider. I too, had thoughts of "omg, she was a year or more out of surgery. This could happen to me." Those are natural thoughts. And they may make you decide to put the brakes on and take a different direction, and that's your choice, and whatever you do, we'll respect that. But just keep going through the process. You have lots of time to reconsider your decision just yet.

I can understand your worries, and I think I can safely say everyone has had worries about surgery and the risk of death.
But we must weigh the pro's and con's, for myself if I had continued on the path I was on, I only needed to look at my mother and see all the things she is dealing with. She is only 63yo and her body is failing her, she has horrible arthritis, has to be on two types of blood pressure meds, as well as walking with a walker because her knees and feet are unable to safely support her anymore.
As I went down my own path she has been there to support me all the way, she has also said she only wished she could have done the surgery as well, but she is too afraid of surgery at this point.
I hope that make the right choice for you based on your own feelings, thoughts and  information. Wishing you all the best on your jounrey!!!            

Melissa,

Only you will know if you're ready or not.  Fears are completely normal, especially since you have young children.  You will make the right decision for YOU when the time comes.

More to say, I'll PM you.

K.

Thanks Karen

I can totally relate to how you feel. Wendy was a dear friend and I am still reeling from her death.

Let me tell you my similiar experience...

I had my surgery 3 years ago. A month before my surgery I joined this forum and one of the first posts I saw was of a woman who died immediately after her surgery. This scared me to death. I have 4 children and my youngest has special needs and is totally dependant on me. I didn't want to leave my children without a mother. I thought long and hard about it but knew that if I didn't have the surgery I would die a young death anyways. My surgeon told me that I could have been dead in the next 5 years if I hadn't lost the excess weight. I felt like I was dying already and I know for a fact that although I was alive I was not really living.

I had my surgery and my life is so much better I cannot even describe it. I've had some issues with my blood/iron levels but I am getting that under control. I would still rather put up with the little issues than to be where I was at before surgery. I do things with my kids now that I couldn't or wouldn't before due to my weight. I feel so alive now and love life! I don't regret it for a moment!

What happened to Wendy is so tragic and nobody knows for sure yet what exactly happened or went wrong. She was pretty far out from surgery and could have had other issues nobody is aware of. Even if it was surgery related the odds are still pretty great for complications. If you look at the statistics you can see that there are so many surgeries that go well and the death ratio is still small compared to the successes.

It is still up to you. If you are not ready or your head is not in it then postpone it for a bit. You need to be in this 100% to be successful. I went from a size 28 pants to a size 10. I am very active now and love how I look and feel. I share clothes with my teenaged daughters which is amazing to me lol.  I've been told to stop losing weight, even though my weight has stabilized for now, but I am still 10 lbs from my surgeon's goal. I don't even feel the need to lose that last 10 lbs because I feel great as I am. Losing 142lbs has changed my life and I feel I have my life back, something I will never regret. Good luck and I hope you do decide to go through with it but if not it is your decision and I wish you well :)

Thanks so much for sharing. I love hearing from other people who have children

My kids don't even recognize me anymore in old pics lol, they can't believe I used to look like that and don't even remember me like that!

Here is an example:

Then:


Now:


First bikini I bought in 20 years!

As I said, I love life now and it's worth living. Dwell on the positives but also be aware of every aspect of this surgery :)

Wowsa!!!  One hot mama right there!