Maybe I am Not Ready

lol thanks! I feel great which to me is even more of a bonus than looking good. Before I felt like I was dying if I walked more than a few steps and couldn't work a full 8 hour shift. Now I do double shifts and have two jobs, both are pretty physical too. I really do wish you great success if you have the surgery and if you do get as much support as you can and follow your surgeon's orders, not what anyone else might tell you.

For me personally I would rather die doing something about my weight problem than die sitting on my ass.

Deaths alway**** us hard. It is normal especially in our little wls community. You have to remember though that they do happen but are very few in nature. Although they don't impact us any less.. When you look at statistics for morbid obesity and diabetes, heart and stroke risks and cancers you'll see that statistically we are more than increasing our life expectancy with surgery.



We freak out when it comes to wls deaths but remember if a friend of yours was crossing the street and got hit by a car would you never cross a street again?



Unfortunately there are wls related deaths and we all read the statistics but we see someone in our community it puts a face to a statistic and therefore impacts us like no other loss. I had been thinking of her all night. It made me think about needing to get on my vitamin regimen again and take care of myself again.



We are all affected by this but at the same time we have to remind ourselves that this is a very rare case and not the norm. Running a support group I can tell you that we have probably had 500+ people come through our doors. No deaths yet. I know one day one will come.

Hi there

I can't say anymore than anyone else has here.
There are risks in every surgery. Hell there are risks getting out of bed in the morning.
We all have these fears prior to surgery.
I remember someone saying they had these fears right up to surgery and almost jumped off the gurney.

You have to do what's right for you. Potentially your current weight will cause you issues that may be hazardous to your health as well

I know it is difficult having children and making these choices. I know you will make the right decision for you.

We are here for you, vent, cry, whatever you need to get you through this
Very sad about Wendy, but again we have no conclusive evidence that this was wls related

Keep your chin up
Take care

great thread...thanks for giving voice to the very normal worries and anxieties that I think most pre-ops struggle with.  I'm in exactly the same place...excited about the possbility of a better quality of life and terrified that my decision will end up in death or some other horrible complication that ends up robbing my son of his quality of life.
I think I'm taking the risk...but as I go through all the appointments, I'm making it clear that I'm still deciding..that weighing the risks and benefits will continue right up to the very end for me, since I want to make sure that I am totally peaceful about whatever decision I finally make.

I have small children and have had a lot of these same thoughts. Have I really done all I can do to lose weight without going to this extreme? I think yes I have and that this is going to be the tool that works for me. I want to be a role model for my 3 year old daughter, I don't want her to have the same issues I had growing up as an overweight child/teen/adult. I want to be able to run around outside and play with her. She is a very active child now, I want to keep that up. My son who is 10 is still a 'normal' weight but that is because he plays hockey and takes martial arts but because I've been the main caregiver for him I haven't been there to encourage him to get outside and play. As a result he'd rather sit indoors and play video games or go on the computer. I'm certain that after the surgery I will be much more active and be getting him outside. So overall yes I am very, very concerned about the surgery and the possibility of dying either during the surgery or as a result of complications. We can't know for sure if Wendy died as a result of complications, even so the statistics of survival are very good and I think the statistics for people losing weight are very good as well. I can take the chance now and have a reasonable expectation that things will go well or I can not have the surgery and knowing my past history of not being able to lose weight face a future of being overweight, developing diabetes, high blood pressure etc, being a poor role model for my kids, dying early from some disease related to being overweight. I think I'd rather take the chance.

I can't add much to what others have said to you already but I wanted you to know that I'm thinking of you Melissa. I think that we are all frightened when it comes to this surgery - it's perfectly normal, any surgery carries risks, but we can't let what happened to Wendy stop us completely, if this is something we really want. My heart goes out to Wendy's family and I pray that she is at peace but remember, we don't know that WLS caused Wendy's death. 

If you made a list earlier, as I did, about the pros & cons of having this surgery, get it out and read it again. Are the points you made still valid? I had a moment of indecision too when I heard about Wendy. I have similar worries when I read on here about difficulties others have experienced post-surgery, but I still feel that this is the best course of action for me, especially with all my co-morbidities.

I know from reading your posts for the past few months that you are a logical, detailed lady and you will take some time to examine your thoughts and come to a decision based on what's right for you. As others have said, you are definitely not alone - we are all here to support you as you travel this road. Do what feels right - only you can tell what that is. I'm sending a hug out to you as you work this out.....

Deb