HUGE Changes coming my way... (venting and a little long)

Leanne1
on 3/29/12 10:11 am, edited 3/29/12 10:16 am - Newmarket, Canada
Well, here it is! The day that I never thought I would see...

I am moving out of my bfs house and getting my own place :(        I just can't believe it. I'm hurt. We have talked about things. He told me that since the start of my WL journey, it took over my life and he started to lose desire for me. :(

He is going to lose his job and that depresses him, I understand that. I told him that we could make it thru that and he didn't really respond.

2 weeks ago, I asked him what the problem is; he told me he's depressed, bored with life and he's not too sure if he wants anyone in it. I started to bawl my eyes out, talk about shocking! He caught me totally off guard.

He always asks me to sleep in the other room (although not as much in the last couple weeks) but it was everyday. I tell him that I love him and his response is "There will be none of that". So, last night I decided to just come right out and ask him if he loved me, he has only told me once that he did and he was drunk, it wasn't long after we started dating. He told me that he doesn't love me. There will never be any sort of ring either.

There hasn't been alot of communication between us for months, we still talk but it's short. There hasn't been alot of intimacy either :(  I miss it, I crave it! But, it just doesn't happen. I try, but he pushes me away.
We were away last week, I was in Alabama and he was in Texas. When he got home Monday night, it was a "good" night. The last time before that was weeks and weeks ago.


On a positive note: I got a temporary full time line at work, so I will have steady hours.

It's funny that I have been striving for this so I can have a normal-ish life with my bf and now that won't be happening.

I have lost 5lbs this week without even trying. Stress sucks big time!

Thanks for letting me vent...

happypants
on 3/29/12 10:38 am - Ottawa, Canada
Leanne I am so sorry you are going through this right now. No amount of words are going to make you feel better.

I just want you to know that my thoughts are with you at this very difficult time. Sending you tons of hugs

Ann

 

In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure.

Surgery July 22, 2011  Starting weight 270  128 lbs lost  Today's weight 142 lbs                 Ann       

 
                                                   

  

Janet13
on 3/29/12 10:46 am - Toronto, Canada
So sorry for what you are going through.. but you are a strong woman and will make it. I send you a huge hug.
"I used to be SnowWhite and then I drifted"
"words come easy behind the screen, when there is no interface-to-face to be seen"
        
   
Leanne1
on 3/29/12 10:48 am - Newmarket, Canada
Thank you Ann and Janet

/me hugs back
Elisabeth G.
on 3/29/12 10:52 am - Windsor, Canada
 I am so sorry you are going through this great big hugs I can understand as my husband left me three weeks ago just take things one day at a time you are strong and you will find someone who values and loves you for you

     

    

350Ann180
on 3/29/12 11:00 am - St. Williams, Canada
VSG on 05/02/12
Oh My Gosh!  Hugs to both of you!  I know it sounds cliche, but things will be better.  Take care of yourself, focus on your journey, you never know what the future holds!
        
      
linda11665
on 3/29/12 11:17 am - Ottawa, Canada
 I'm so sorry to hear that...

My thoughts are with you...Hang on it will get better...

Linda
  
  Choose love, power, and acceptance instead of what we default to which is fear, dependence, and intolerance
hbrunet72
on 3/29/12 11:40 am - Canada
 Secretly this is one of my biggest fears.  My husband has always said he is attracted to bigger women.  Please know that you are in my thoughts.  Hugs!
Referral Received July 28, 2010. Orientation at Toronto Western Hospital April 20, 2011. Surgeon consult May 11, 2012. Pre-admission July 13, 2012. Surgery July 23, 2012, St. Mike's Hospital, Toronto. Officially on the bench!
Thank you Dr. Rotstein!
                
northernlight
on 3/29/12 12:57 pm - Canada
VSG on 05/11/12
Aw Leanne, I'm really sorry that you're going through so much emotional upheaval right now - you certainly don't need this kind of drama.  This seems to happen pretty often to those of us who have WLS, sorry to say. It sounds as though you both are in completely different places as far as what you want in your futures. Leanne, you're a lovely, caring person and you will find someone *****ally appreciates you and your wonderful personality. You will find someone else - someone who is willing to commit to you. And you know what? Being alone is not a bad thing - you can deal with whatever life throws at you because you're strong.   

I know that you're hurting, but say goodbye to your bf - don't stay with someone who doesn't love you.  He's short-changing you and is content to just have you as his roommate, not his romantic partner. Life is way to short to settle for leftovers. You are worth a man who will love you completely and not hesitate to show it.

This is a new chapter in your life and it will be a new start - it's fantastic that you have full time hours at work, even if it is temporary. Maybe it will turn into full time. Either way, look forward, not back. Remember that you can always come here for support and to vent to us!  Good luck.

Deb
      
PatXYZ
on 3/29/12 1:11 pm
I know it's hard to see it this way now, but what you've been given here is an opportunity to find real love. You deserve better and more. More love, more commitment. Now you have that chance.
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