Thoughts from 2 years Post Op
Staring at the calendar this evening, it dawned on me that today is my 2 year surgiversary. It almost passed me by....again. I haven't been posting a lot on OH. Life has just taken over and I am finding myself very busy with my job and my family. I guess that is the gist of my thoughts standing here 2 years out. Life is just normal. Pre-op, I feared that my life would be unrecognizable following surgery and I wondered if I could deal with all the change. Right now, I just feel like life is, (in so many ways), very much the same as it ever was.
Have I changed? Sure I have. I am much more active and I love to exercise now. I NEVER thought I'd be able to say that. This year I am challenging myself with 2 half marathons. Who knew? Certainly not me, two long years ago. I am much better at making positive food choices and sticking to my choices. I have more confidence in my ability to take care of my body in a healthy way. The biggest thing is that I am HAPPY with me. Not everyday of course, but on the whole, I am a much happier person and if I could thank my RNY for one single thing, it would be for the overall quality of life I am experiencing now, that I did not experience before. I feel like for the first time in a long time, I am participating in life, and not just observing. That is invaluable.
Here's the kicker....Am I the same person I have always been? YES, YES, YES. This is one of the biggest thing that presses upon me after two years. I am still the same person, with so many of the same habits and instincts (more than I care to admit), that I had when I was morbidly obese. I still crave junk. I struggle with head hunger every single day. I have to work really hard to stave off the munchies and all of the temptations that seem to be ever-present in my daily life. Sometimes I succeed, and sometimes not. Basically, I am still a food addict and know I will always be one. I am envious of those people who (whether real or perceived), feel they have beat those demons, and put them to the curb. I wonder if I will ever be able to claim that. Maybe not, but with the help of RNY, I know that I can fight them and be victorious more often than not. I can say with clarity that pre-op, I felt defeated by food; powerless. Now, I feel the challenge of food addiction, but I feel strong and empowered to manage my addiction.
To quote the great LMFAO, "Everyday I'm shuffle 'in..." 
(HaHa!) I keep-on-keeping -on! I started out at 329 pounds, and reached my lowest weight of 169. Right now, I am maintaining- bouncing up and down about 8 pounds. I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't like to loose some more. 150 was my original goal, and if I get there one day....GREAT. If not, I will be insanely grateful for every last pound I've lost and will try to rock my RNY till the day I can't rock no more :)
BEFORE: Me on the far right @ 329 Pounds
After: @ 169 pounds (Me......in a bathing suit.....in public!!!) 
Referral Sent: March 19, 2010
Surgery date with Dr. Denis Hong: December 9, 2010
I had so many jitters. I cried my way into the OR, but now, I wouldn't change it for all the world. Short of marrying my husband and having my 2 girls, easily the best decision I have ever made for myself. You'll do great, and you'll be amazed at your physical transformation. I still struggle to recognize myself sometimes. haha
Referral Sent: March 19, 2010
Surgery date with Dr. Denis Hong: December 9, 2010
Thanks Marnie, I've been following you since I joined here & this was a great post as I have so many jitters! You see my time is here & I will be joining you on the bench this Thursday 13th Dec! I'm flying to Toronto on Wednesday with my husband & daughter!
So say a little prayer for me & make room on the bench!! 
You look Marvelous! 
