I love my family but...I don't think they understand what just happened

So I'm 6 days post op today and my family came to visit. My mom and step dad came first. They came in with a box of oatmeal (which is great!), crystal lights flavors from the states, and a pound cake and a box of pastries from the Scottish bakery. Lol my aunt and brother werent that bad lol I know it's me that has made this change and me that decided to re start my life but cakes?? 6 days after surgery??

It's always been my families way to bring something when you go to visit I would have made do with the flowers and the cards. That was thoughtful. But I've been open and honest from the beginning and my mom knows I'm full fluids right now. I just don't get it.

Last weekend was similar, they tried to get my wife who is one year banded today to eat a candy cane donut. Lol I know it's what they've been like my whole life. My grandmother would say I was overweight and then force me to eat. Lol it makes me laugh now thinking back.

Anyways thanks for listening/reading. I kinda told them no thank you and my stepdad scooped them up quickly!! Lol god luv em

Wow talk about passive/aggressive. Glad you could see the funny side of it

After 30+ years of it, you don't really have a choice

I'm sure your family means well, I hope. Just stuck in the habit of food as a gift. I too have grown up with family who comment on my weight and then stuff me with food! Just tell them you want shiny gifts, and not jello. Lol. Kindness can be shown in other ways! Robin

LOL! Thanks for the advice

Well, you can always feed them to people who come to visit you!  :)  At least they gave you oatmeal and Crystal Light - that was thoughtful!

Kind of shows you, doesn't it?  We don't become obese in a vacuum - we are socialized by society and the people closest to us, and we get into patterns like this.  It's hard to break them!

It truly is... I love them still and can understand where they are coming from. I just hope I don't offend them at the same time of helping them understand.

I'm in the same situation, my husband not support me, he want to invite me to eat hamburgers or ice cream. It is so difficult to be in this situation, but any way I have to win and follow my goal..good luck and be strong.

 

In the end, we are the ones who put the food in our mouths.  I am now double or triple the age I was when I moved out of home.  So it is now MY issue what I put in my mouth.

All you can say is no thank you and roll your eyes.

Re unsupportive husband, I had to dump a sabotaging husband,  I wasn't going to stay fat and miserable to make him feel less insecure.  He made it come down to him or me.  And it was sad.

Oh, I agree!  I'm not saying we're without responsibility.  I'm just saying that these patterns aren't just hard for US to break, but also for the people around us, too - they're used to spoiling us with delicious food that they know we'll love, and they do it out of love.

My husband and I, when we got together, completely spoiled each other with food.  We both gained a LOT of weight when we got together, because we both love food and wine, and we would joke, "Food is love" while we fed each other up. 

Well, food is still love, and he is really enjoying the food I'm making that's WLS-friendly for dinners and such.  (This from a woman who hardly ever cooked at all before WLS.)  And he's being completely supportive.  But it's definitely a learning curve, not just for me, but for him too!