What do You Tell People About Surgery?

Hi my dear,

   I go back to work in 9 days after having 9 weeks off and over 60lbs lost. I just told my manager i was taking medical leave. I really think your health and surgery is YOUR business and nobody else's. "People" don't need to know what's happening to you. Remember "people" don't tell you all of their business, why should you tell them yours? When they notice your weightloss, tell them you have reduced your portions and increased your exercise.....that would be the truth too!

Antionette

best of luck

When I first put my name on the registry, I wasn't going to tell anyone.  Now I've told everyone, and if anyone asks how I've been losing weight, I tell them right away that I had surgery.  So, everyone at work knows, everyone in my family knows, and amazingly enough, I have not had one single negative comment.  Not one.  Maybe it's because when I told them, I said it in a way that was very matter-of-fact, without any embarrassment or shame. 

Before surgery, I did get one or two questions and comments from a couple of people who have considered it themselves but felt it was too risky, but I didn't take that as negative comments, I took it as discussion, and we talked about why I was choosing it as well as why they weren't.  And those people have all, since my surgery, been very supportive.

It's not for everyone, but I feel so strongly about how beneficial this surgery is, and how important it is for it to be funded and expanded across Ontario, that I tell everyone so that everyone in my acquaintance is aware of at least one person who had the surgery and had her life greatly improved by it.  And I also don't want to perpetuate the myth that morbidly obese people can just diet an exercise their way down to a normal weight and keep it off without any surgical intervention, when the fact is that only a miniscule percentage of people can do that and maintain it.

I don't want anyone who has misconceptions about WLS, or are against WLS, to think of me or to use me as an example of someone who "did it the old fashioned way", and gee, if Onward and Downward can do it that way, so-and-so should be able to as well.  So I tell anyone who asks or even comments on my weight loss.

A funny story on this subject: There was only one person in my extended family that I was worried would be critical about me having surgery.  She has been losing weight very slowly over the past couple of years and I've admired her so much for it!  Well, as it turns out, I saw her over Christmas.  I hadn't told her about my WLS directly but I knew she would know because everyone in my family knows and I didn't ask them to keep it a secret.  When I saw her, she congratulated me, and then told me that she had a lapband a few years ago!  Unfortunately, it was a failed banding because she didn't lose any weight with it.  In the country where she had it done (not in Canada), it was covered by the health care system, but they didn't have any post-op support at all.  And she didn't lose any weight with it at all - it just didn't work.

So, after months with this failed band, she and her husband just started trying to lose weight "the old fashioned way" and they've been doing pretty well.  But she's considering a revision now that she's back in Ontario.  So there I was, all worried that this one person (who I love and get along with fine, by the way) would be critical, and as it turned out, she was not only very supportive, but had tried the surgery route herself!

I've told pretty much everyone who is involved in my life.  They're going to ask - once they note the weight loss, and I really don't care.  I'd rather others know than not know...I hate secrets.

I have to cancel a months worth of appointments with clients... I see between 25-30 people per week and over the years these people learn about my life and I learn about theirs. Many ask what kind of surgery as they are concerned about my health, I've been rreally honest since they would worry about the extended absence followed by weight loss.

I have had incredible support from almost everyone, in fact many congratulate me for having the courage to make such a drastic change. Only a couple have said things like 'it's too bad you couldn't loose it naturally' 

everyone has wished me the best of luck regardless... And some have been so encouraging I was honestly surprised... The other side is some have asked lots of questions for themselves or someone they care about... I always inform everyone that Ontario does not take this lightly... And the extended process is about testing and education so that we have no false illusions and all the best information for success.

of course my most recent declaration... 2 days before surgery...the woman admitted she regretted having the surgery four years ago... Even if it possibly saved her life by the early diagnosis of lung cancer during testing.

Sorry, kinda long!!

My whole family knows, & those who don't, I don't hesitate to tell them. I had told everyone at my old job, & to this day I still think that may be (in part) why I was laid off. It was coming eventually, but I think it may have happened sooner than originally planned because I was planning to have this surgery. Add to that the fact that I have had some VERY strong reactions about having the surgery, such as: you're not big enough, you don't need that surgery, you don't have that much weight to lose, I can't believe you're willing to take that risk, etc. (I am 5'4", & was 281 when I requested the referral, 259.5 when I started Opti 13 days ago, & currently 246.5)

So at my new job, which I started in July, I decided not to tell anyone. Then I found out I needed to have my gallbladder out. So I told my bosses that I was going to have to have my gallbladder removed, just wasn't sure when. Ok, so they knew I was going to have to have surgery eventually. When I got the call with my date, I told my bosses the truth, but asked them to keep it to themselves, which they did.

Then came Opti. Well I work for a company that provides food services for a public cafeteria. I eat lunch with my co-workers every day. Our jobs revolve around food. So the first day I wasn't eating lunch, I was asked why not. Said I was doing a cleanse. Was asked what kind of cleanse? I said just a cleanse. Promptly decided I didn't want to lie to people. I am going to be rapidly losing weight, my eating habits are going to change drastically, & I am not embarrassed of this surgery or my need for it. I am doing it to improve my health & my life. So I told the truth. For the most part my decision has been accepted & respected, & some of my co-workers are almost more excited about it than I am! There are still those few who tell me I am not big enough, I don't need surgery, I don't have that much to lose. It frustrates the hell out of me to have to convince people that I really am big enough, I really do have that much to lose, & that I've struggled with weight all my life.

But, I am trying to accept people's opinions, & remind myself that they are entitled to their opinion. I say "thank you, but I wouldn't have been approved for this surgery if I didn't qualify, I've struggled with my weight all my life so I have already made the changes in my eating habits & my lifestyle & this surgery will help me lose the weight & keep it off."

Regardless - I know why I'm doing this. I know I need to do this. I am committed & excited (& ok a little bit nervous) & cannot wait to be on the bench. Let them say what they want, to my face or behind my back, I don't care. I am doing this for me & nobody else but me.

I have spent the last 15 years over eating and gaining weight. Some of it my fault and some from being on a medication program of steroids. Ohhh who am I kidding, I like to eat the the steroids gave me my excuse.

 My embarrassed for years has been about always being the biggest in the group, room etc. Now it isn't just an embarrassment it is a necessity. I have a new baby boy and a little girl, I have to think of them and as much as I try hard I just haven't the umph. My family Dr who is all for this surgery says I am in a cycle. I can't loose weight as it isn't just about diet but exercise and I can't exercise enough as I am too heavy. 

If someone asks I plan to say that I was approved for a government assisted weight loss program due to my......

All of my friends and family know the medication I have been on and don't say much but I still feel I need to pretend that I am the eater of only lettuce in a fat persons body. I believe it is also know as a closet eater. lol.

Good luck to all of us for having the nerve to say what we feel will work best for us and then being proud of our accomplishments.

I would tell them I'm having plastic surgery of the vjj.