so embarrassed... broke my brand new bed and apparently the couch

Monica I dont disagree that he is a "jerk for saying it...."....however, what we dont know is- if this is chronic assholeness....or a result of frayed nerves and stupidity

If I hung everyone who said something I didnt like....I'd be living in a cemetary.....people say things when they fight....and sometimes they are hurtful....but the OP didnt really  indicate more info ( and I dont blame her)...whether he is generally a great guy or not.....and that is their business

I just know that, generally, we are too quick to make excuses for people's behaviour. I don't say hurtful things like that, never have. and he said it twice, about the bed, and the couch.

thank you monica. you are right he is being a jerk. these comments are not common with him. but it is no excuse. it is childish and he knew it would upset me.

my husband said many hurtful things to me about my weight, and i used to just take it, cuz i knew it was "my fault" for being fat in the first place. I now realize that he was just being mean, and there's no excuse.

- once told me that i had my gallbladder out, just so i could continue to eat fatty foods

- told me that i exaggerated my doctor's instructions to do as "little as possible" when pregnant with twins, when i had high blood pressure, that i was just being lazy.

Well it looks like I'm not the only one who's been there with "Mr. Nasty Pants"! The support from him has to start NOW. The negativity has to stop and something has to be said. We need to take a stand against verbal abuse. A bed is a bed..... it is replaceable. My husband would have asked me if I was alright, right away. His concern would have been for me and not the bed. This I know 100%. His comments are a warning sign. Keep your eyes and ears open. You are worth much more. Value yourself no matter what!  Love yourself!

I'm gonna call you Curious Georgia. Just cuz you're a girl and all.

I was actually trying to figure out how to change my name to "Curious Georgina"! I don't know how to do it! Oh well, you could call me "Marj" which is my real name! Take good care.

That's a tough one. I have a couple of bar stools  that have split from my weight. I have a normal BMI now and looking at them while I'm writing this is bringing back a lot of emotions. I'd save your post and soon enough you'll be looking back to remember what it was like to be overweight. Talk to your husband and tell him how you are feeling. All the best in three weeks!!!

Beds and couches are easy to fix or replace broken spirits and relationships not so much .... I'm sorry to hear that  this has happened to you if he is generally abusive you might just be in the market for surgery a new bed and well maybe even a new friend.  Emotional abuse is often more damaging to a person than even physical abuse and we often over look abuse because of how we feel about ourselves. I hope Barb is right and this is not his norm, but please  let him know he was out of line and that if he needs to he might want to get some help so he can learn what is appropriate and not.

LOL - if my husband even dared say something like that to me he'd be sleeping in the basement! I'm not sure what to say - even as large as I am, my husband has never said anything mean to me in regards to my weight. We've had discussions about how it would be nice if I lost it - I always start the conversations...but to have it thrown out there in a heat of the moment argument. Yikes. I wish you luck with your surgery! It's nice to watch people who work hard get the reward. :)

andrea