so embarrassed... broke my brand new bed and apparently the couch

Lisa, I just noticed from your blog posting in your profile that you're not even 300 lbs.  There is no way that it was your weight that broke the bed.  I've slept on lots of beds when I was well over 300 lbs (and I have been over 300 lbs for several years).  Not to mention my husband's and my old, rickety bed, which is at least 15 years old, and I haven't broken it.  Between the two of us, there has been between 550-600 lbs sleeping on that bed for over 3 years, up until I had my surgery.  (Even now, there's over 450 lbs on it every night.)

I think it's that the bed wasn't put together properly, or that the bed was cheaply made.  My husband was just telling me that he broke a bed once when he weighed less than 200 lbs, because the bed was crap.  If the cross-pieces under the box-spring are either not enough or don't fit right, or if there are no cross-pieces at all and the box spring just sits in a small metal frame, then that can easily happen to ANYONE.  There's no way that a queen or king bed shouldn't hold at least several hundred pounds easily. 

I don't think you (or your husband, grr) should assume it's your fault.

Yes, chairs and sofas get grooves in them when they become "favourite" seats - doesn't matter who sits in them.  Heck, I've seen sofas get grooves in them when normal-sized people and even kids camp out on the same spot all the time - how many guys wear butt-shaped grooves in their la-z-boy chairs? ;)  That's what happens with furniture when people get favourite spots and positions on them.

thank you. you are prob right about it being made cheaply. we got it at an auction so who knows. so thank you for pointing it out cause really it could have been him that broke it if he was sleeping on the side that broke. he did fix it but i am not ready to get on it yet. :)

OMG.  It was HIS SIDE that broke, and he still yelled at YOU about it? 

Okay, sorry, I know I'm going on about this, but wow.  Glad he fixed it, and I'm glad you had a talk with him about it (although I don't buy his excuse that it "wasn't about your weight" either), and I'm sorry he's feeling insecure, but him being worried about you leaving him if you lose weight is not a good enough excuse for what he said to you.  If he's that worried about you leaving him, then he'd better start treating you like the pot of gold you are and acting like he actually deserves to have you stick around whether you're fat or skinny.

Your update, including the talk with your mom and the insight that he is feeling worried about you leaving him actually fills in the picture a lot.  Saying cruel things and yelling at a spouse (and blaming them for stuff that is out of their control), and taking the thing they are most insecure about (in your case, your weight) and exploiting it is actually a control tactic - it's a way to demolish someone's self-esteem and make them feel insecure about themselves.  People are a lot easier to control (and it's a lot easier to make someone believe they can't live without you) if you make them feel like crap about themselves and that they aren't worthy of love and respect.

Best of luck to you, Lisa.  This surgery is all about you and your health, not about your husband and not even really about the kids, although you'll be able to do so much more with your kids as well as other great activities once you have better energy and mobility.  You're so worth it.  Can't wait to start seeing your celebration posts as you have lots of scale victories and non-scale victories! :)