New man friend likes me "as is"

yes Darlene I agree about being honest with him. I just don't know how to actually tell him. I guess I will just ask him if he would still like me if I lost some weight? lol Men seem to get a certain type of women fixed in their brain and that is all they want. I think it is better to tell him about it now and see what happens. Thanks for your advice.

I am with everyone else on this one. I wouldn't tell him right now. I would just bide my time and see how things go. Weather he likes it or not that is to bad. You are doing this for you and no one else. It would be wonderful to have a help mate that backs you up but right now this whole thing is in the beginning stages~I mean after all you still haven't met this man in person yet. You only know him as someone who he wants you to know and possibly not the real him. This is just my own opinion. Take it for what it's worth.

You are so right Brenda amd I very much appreciate your thoughts on this. I am just going to tell him today and see what happens. Thank you dear!

 *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  Ya know what...  Don't worry about what to tell this man and when.  It will happen naturally.  I met a man online and we both were so careful to tell just enough about ourselves to let the other person know we have flaws.  We met and found we have so much to share.  He gave me the acceptance I needed about myself after years of subtle damage from my marriage.  I was not as heavy when we met.  I gained weight and was afraid for him  to see me heavy.  He lives back East.  The most precious thing he said was.. you still have the same eyes? yes... you still have the same smile?  yes,   The inside hasn't changed so there is nothing to worry about.   He has been so supportive of me through all of this.    The weight gain and the surgery.  We have this "relationship" for over 11 years now.   If this man truly cares for you then it won't matter.  Some men actually like a woman with a "cushion".  I know men with a plump physic are attractive to me... bald or not.  My main advice.....  be yourself......  if it doesn't work out... well, there is that special someone out there.   Gotta kiss lots of toads...  and toads gotta be kissed by many princesses before the right one changes them into a prince.  Enjoy the fun and excitement of his friendship.  Millie

How inspirational Millie ... thank you. We really like each other a lot and he thinks I am beautiful (sent him lots of pics so he knows my size). He sends me cards and we talk daily. I hope he is not a toad ... lol

Do you think maybe it's the inside you that he really wants to meet? We all know that outside is just packaging, and we loose weight for health reasons. I would hope that he would be more interested in the inside you and wouldn't care so much about the package that it would be a deal breaker! By the way, you do look lovely, but again, I think it's more about your personality shining through that makes you look so good.

Maggie

I hope you are right Maggie I like him a lot. We really hit it off. He sends me cards and today I got some earrings. He is very sweet (and cute). We are having fun and our sons are very close in age (22 & 24). He has made me a very happy person. Thanks for the upbeat (and hopeful) post. (((((( hugs ))))))

Hi, nice to meetcha!  Anyway, let me tell you what I do.  I talk with a guy (email) a bit and I do tell them. I am up front about it, if they don't e mail me back, I figure good riddance to bad baggage.  Lot's don't write back.  a few do.  A few I have met, one I showed my former picture to.  He didn't work out, but not because of the weight issue.  The right man won't care, he will love you for YOU not for what you were or what you will be.  I side with Darlene.  I am very upfront and open about my life.  In the scheme of things WLS is small potatos compared to what issues we would have to discuss before any intimacy.  If they can't handle WLS they sure as heck won't be able to handle the bigger issue.  But that is a whole OTHER discussion! 
Do what your gut tells you to do, we are all different in our wonderfulness! 

Hi Debbie
Thanks for the insight. He knows I am "big" but he doesn't know I have had WLS and hope to lose another 50-75 pounds. I just don't want him to be disappointed as I shrink is all ... lol. He has seen my pics and likes me as is. Of course I would meet him AFTER I had WLS ... lol. All those years of loneliness and rejection ... where was he??????????? lol

Honesty is the best policy, as Darlene and Debbie have noted.  Obviously, you're not going to be able to hide the loss of weight anyway.  The slight difference that I think is being made by myself and the members who've suggested waiting is that you don't have to discuss WLS at an initial meeting with his man.  You may find that you have less interest in him or he may say something that you decide doesn't fit with your core beliefs.  In that case, you may not go out again anyway. 

If you do bring up WLS in an initial meeting, you probably will have a long talk about it at that time. It might over-shadow the conversation and you might miss the opportunity to "hear" what he's "about" and what's going on in his life.  Listening is a good skill to have when reentering the dating world.  

Just be on the cautious side... dating can be the pits!

By now you probably just want to toss a coin in the air and see which side land face up! 
Have a great night!
Ro