Two days until sugery and I'm really sad tonight...

 ( ( (  HUGGS ) ) )   I'm so sorry you are having to face this situation.  I myself was one of those that felt all heavy people needed to do was get off their duff and eat better & exercise to lose weight.  I felt surgery was the last resort.  However, I learned otherwise and learned I would never lose it on my own.. and keep it off.  WLS is a tool  not an answer in itself.

Hopefully, your daughter will at least respect your wishes for the surgery and the choices you make for yourself.  If not, lean on those who will support you.  Being smaller than her is her fear.  And why should that really matter? This isn't a competition.  Take heart, you will feel better after surgery and she will eventually will outgrow her immaturity..

Millie

Hey Laura
Hugs for you first then ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,  she  is probably feeling insecure and thinking for some reason it will look bad for her she will have to lose or watch her weight now ...  I say this because of her comments to you "taking the easy way etc..  I would just say ,  I LOVE YOU and sorry you cant agree with my decision and do what I think is right for me ... 
My kids dont agree with half the stuff  I say or do but I AM THE MOM :)
She will come around sooner or later
HUGS and SKINNY WISHES
Shirley

sending you a special hug and a prayer for peace in your mind about this- it is not easy..however- you must do for you!!!!!!!!!!!

Hi Laura, I have to grown daughters...the oldest is thin and I know she'd be concerned about me medically, my other daughter is more overwt every day and she would be the one to say that it is the easy way out. I haven't told them yet cuz I don't want to hear their opinions but I will soon. I take what they say with a grain of salt. They have a right to an opinion but I don't have to listen or agree. I one of them gets mouthy or gets in my face about something I tell them to back off till they can talk to me respectfully. I don't have a large support system...my sister who lives 4hrs away, my son who now lives 10hrs away, my support group from the hospital and last but not least my OFF family. That's ok. I feel that this surgery is a serious commitment for a real change in lifestyle. Not for the faint of heart. But the results are fantastic!
Hope you can find peace in your decision and feel strong in your journey. Daughters will be there after the surgery too...you are the decision maker for you and if they can't say something nice then turn them off.
You'll be in my prayers.
Alice

hi laura...oh how i remember when i first mentioned having WLS to my family!!! they were dead set against it!!! but then people that my brother and sister in law worked with had it and they saw the transformation in them and they didn't have any problems...well they did an abrupt change of heart for me to have this done!!!! when they saw how i looked after losing weight they were flabbergasted!!!! my nephew didn't even know it was me!!!! he said he coudn't get over how i looked now....said i looked great!!! now that is one huge WOW for me!!!! also my PCP told me if i didn't do this i would be dead in a few SHORT years!!!!!! that clinched it for me!!! i wanted to get this WLS and LIVE!!!!!!! i am so sorry that your daughter is so set in her ways and hopefully she will come around when she sees how much happier you are and healthier that you have become when this weight starts coming off!!!!!!! i wish you the best in your journey to become the healthier YOU!!!!!!

hugs

There is so much going on here. For one thing, your daughter is afraid of losing you.
Also,WLs has a prejudice, as people are not informed,they do not understand that it is a choice everyday to eat the right things, some people don't.
The jealousy about the body is because she is unhappy about her weight.
These arIe just things I pick up. I do not mean to capsule the situation.
Hang tough, and know you have us all here, at your finger tips, and we also give great phone.
Just reach out, as you are doing,we know your life, we too are facing it all.
We are victors,one day at a time.
Take care, and God bless you. May you have smooth sailing!
  

IN MY CASE, IT IS NOT JEALOUSY NOR MEANESS.  MY GIRLS ARE GENUINELY SCARED THAT THEY WILL LOSE ME (DEATH).  I UNDERSTAND THEIR ANXIETY AND FEAR BECAUSE THEY ALMOST LOST ME WHEN I HAD BRAIN SURGERY  & MENENGITIS BACK IN 2003.  I HAVE TRIED TO ASSURE THEM BUT SO FAR THEY ARE STILL SCARED.  AFTER THE SURGERY IS OVER AND I COME HOME, THEY WILL SUPPORT ME.

JOY

Laura....everyone else has said it all and I totally agree with them.

Everything will work out.... just wait and see.

I just want you to know I am here and I am supporting you in anyway I can.

Hugs, connie d

Aloha Laura and congratulations on your upcoming surgery. You have taken a major step in the right direction to get back your health, your fitness and your freedom of body!

Grown children can break our hearts, that's for sure. I feel your sadness at your daughter's thoughtless words. Her feelings about this are her feelings and all you can do is tell her that you understand that she loves you, is worried about you and cannot express that in a positive supportive way for whatever reason she can't.

I was very lucy in that both my sons were very supportive. I have several doctors in my family so they all KNEW how life saving and valuable this surgery can be. Even they, however, are surprised at how quickly the weight came off, and how much better I feel, look, etc.

You are about to begin the journey of a lifetime. Do NOT let anyone bring you down. Write down your feelings today, take pictures today, measure yourself today.....and then a year from now compare what you wrote down to how you feel, look, experience life at that point. I can almost guarantee you will be blown away by the changes.

Good luck, my dear OFF sister!

Aloha nui loa,

Maui Karen

Laura,
My daughter was the same way. You are not taking the cheating way out as she says. You are doing what you need to do for yourself.
I am now 100 pounds lighter than my daughter and after 6 years she has come to accept that I am thinner and will always be. I still will be addicted to food as they say but Now that I have my tool I now know how to control it.
My daughter cant yet. She hasnt come to terms with her weight problem. I think she will in time So I dont say anything to her.
My daugher didnt even call me when I was in the hospital for my RNY.
In my opinion she is loosing her eating buddy, That is you!!!!! My daugher thought the same thing.
Hang in there it does get better.
Carla