The body and the bones
Here’s the deal. I do not have to shop in the plus size shops. I can go to the regular stores and buy away. However, when I go to these regular stores, I always start in the plus size section. I know what is happening. My mind does this thing where I cannot accurately assess my size. When I was super morbidly obese, I was shocked every single time I looked in the mirror. I expected to see me at my normal size and there was the bloated, huge, and disgusting woman with no definitions from the top of her head to the toes on her feet. I could never synthesize my reality with that fantasy from the past of me being cute and with a nice waist and ass. I know too much information but bear with me because I think this is something of importance. So, then I started to lose weight and low and behold, I cannot get an accurate picture of me in my mind. When I look in the mirror, I think wow, she looks good, whoops, that’s me, but as soon as I am not in front of the mirror, I think I’m as big as house. Why does my brain play these self image tricks on me? I cannot reconcile my size. Which brings me to the next observation, when I feel bones, and I do feel many bones, I cannot leave them alone. It is a wonder that I haven’t worn my scapula and sternum and ribs off. I find myself touching them and rubbing them and admiring them. What is that all about? Oh, and this is not in a sexual manner, no, not sexual. It is like it is a curious thing. I’ve, not even when I was normal before getting so big, never felt my bones like this and it is so nice.

Karen,
I'm so with you on the collar bone. I love the square necked shirts because they accent that little or big dip betweeen the bones. I think the bones are what keep me motivated. If I didn't have so much hanging skin, my leg bones would be prominent and are when I lie down and put my feet in the air. Now that's an image. LOL

One thing that helped my over the years of losing this weight and finding who I am was in the beginning at my surgeons suggestion, after my shower I would get lotions and apply to my body. I would do this anyway, but the manner in which he suggested made a lot of sense to me, it didn't at the time, but looking back I see the reasoning.
When applying lotion to your arms (any body part as you progress), say to youself, this is my arm, apply to yourself as you are applying massage oil to a lover. Learn the feel of your body as it is getting smaller. You have to reconnect your mind to you body, your material body. This also helps with the learning to like/love yourself.
I probably just didn't make sense to anyone, I know what I was trying to say, I speak phone better than computerese.......
Darlene
Karen C
As for the bones....I love to feel them. I actually love rubbing in my lotions now. I have really noticed the changes as I have lost the weight.
Hugs....connie d