It really was my son!

Oh my goodness Betsy,
I have no advice to give.  But I can hold you in prayer and ask God grant you wisdom, and a peaceful spirit amid all the uncertainty.  Hugging you, Mary

hi betsy

im so glad you found your son and I hope that within our crazy legal system you
can find a way to get him some long term help/care.

the privacy laws are awful and one of the things we need to do is to let our
lawmakers know this. 

I wish you well, jacki

I am so happy for all of you!

I'm so sorry Betsy.  This must be so difficult for you.  I can't even imagine.  I will add you and your family to my prayer list. 

Betsy I have just read your post and can only say what has already been said. Just keep the faith and God will direct you. All this privacy stuff is great until something like this happens! It makes it so difficult to get anything accomplished! I guess it is for our own good though. Best wishes in the coming months! Good luck!

I can't imagine the roller coaster of emotions you are going through right now.  But I can pray for you.  And keep trying.  Don't ever give up. 

You are going to have to get a good lawyer to get you power of attorney over your son. It means that you will more than likely need to go to where he is institutionalized.  After you get power of attorney, you cannot just have him committed.  Even after you successfully get him committed, there is no committment for life.  They will reevaluate him and once he is stable, they turn him loose.  I suggest that a good attorney will at least get him in your control and back in your home state.  Once there, you will need to fight to keep him locked up.  The laws that protect people from being institutionalized on the whims of a family member are the ones that hurt the severely psychotic.  Plus, the really sad thing is the mental institutions are no longer long term care givers.  I would ask do you really want this battle?  Do you want to be responsible for this ongoing fight?  Because it will be for the rest of your life of  keeping him medicated, locked up, and out of trouble.  Taking care of mentally ill people who are not institutionalized is devastating to families and especially if that mentally ill person is psychotic.  Good luck on which ever you decide.  I hope, for your sake, you are able to get him back to your home state and get him institutionalized.  At least you will know where he is and that he is protected from the elements.

Hi Betsy,

I am so sorry that you found your son in such a sad situation. Happy for you that you did find him.
Jeannie has made excellent points. I am a social worker in WA state and  here if someone is mentally incompetent it is too late to try and get  Durable Power of Attorney or Power of Attorney. The next step is to get guardianship over him. You will have to petition the court for guardianship based on the fact that he is incompetent, which sounds like he is at this time. But...as I said, Jeannie makes some very good points and you have to be ready to accept responsibility for his care, and all that goes with it. You may want to get an attorney and just get a consultation, sometimes you can get a free hour for one consultation.
You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. Please feel free to PM me if I can be of any help.
Take Care,
Cheryl

Hugs and prayers sent with lots of love.  Diane

Again, thank you for all the posts. The outpouring of love and care is overwhelming to me and  I appreciate it so much.

I am a real mess of emotions at this time, as you all have said, and the stress is beginning to manifest itself in different ways. Insomnia again, upset stomach, headache, literally shaking, and some kind of crazy rash that  has spread all over  On theoutside I look like I have it all together,,but the inside I'm quaking.

Jeannie thank you so much for your insight and advice. I have been thinking about the responsibility and it is a lot to deal with. Financially right now we are in no postion to take on a long legal battle. It is all so overwhelming. My youngest daughter and I are going to try to go to Alabama in the next couple of weeks and at least talk to his caregivers.

The family here is terrified he will get out and come here. He has threatened for years to kill me and his older sister. One night years ago I woke up and he was standing over my bed,,I didnt even know he was in the house or how he got there. After he left, I found a machete in the other bedroom where he had hidden it. His brother found a gun. Since that day we have all feared him.
Why is it, that as a parent, I can't let go of him even though I know he is a danger to us all and to others? I have tried since he was a child to get him help, and no one would ever take me seriously. Back when he was born, in the 60's, there were no medications and no facilities available. Im just so very very weary of it all and feel so helpless. No one will listen to me, and i  am so frustrated. Im so thankful I can come here and at least vent!!

Thanks again, you all are the best!
Betsy