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Marcia, I know your pain.  I also go thru this from time to time with my son.  It's amazing how much our adult children can and do still hurt us from time to time.  It makes me sad to know how much you are hurting (angry too, if you are like me).  It seems that the next day he is ok and acts as if nothing has happened. 
I guess I don't have any answers for you, I wish I did, I'd use them too.  I just wanted to let you know that there is a shoulder here for you to cry on, a sounding board, or just friends to listen.
Big ole hugs, friend,
Pat A

When I had my children, my great aunt said that when they are babies, they step on our toes, but when they are grown,  they step on our hearts.  Because my daughter and I have always had a tenous relationship, I know how you feel.  Lately, when she gets argumentative, I just say, are you angry?  That usually stops it because she realizes that she is the only one yelling or the only one being contrary.  I refuse to fight with her.

(((( hugs ))))) My son and I are the same way.

Marcia,I know your feeling all too well. I know you are really hurt. Please please try to walk through this,go to your meeting and everything else.
We still have to be the grown up in these situations.
Try to act as if,I think this will help you. I know you love your daughter very much,or you would not hurt so.
Good luck,and remember this too will pass.

ok i may be the oddball here- well; i am but anyhow-
i agree that our kids can just tear us to pieces- and i sympathize with you on this- my own have done their fair share!

now here is where i get odd- marcia-maybe it wouldn't hurt for you to find a support group of your own- big ppl time-and by that i mean adults without their children...i know your daughter is a young adult so i am not slamming but maybe mom needs some alone time...and when you two get ok about life you can also attend the one together????

just a thought.............