too much time on my hands.

Son and son's partner came by today and both had some advice about my lack of love life.  They said I need to get out more.  They  might be right.  One thing I've noticed about being single again after all these years it sure is hard to get back in the swing of dating.  I want to compare all the lovely ladies to my wife.  I'm still a little self conscious about the body.  Any of you have that problem where you've lost all you intend to lose and you feel embarrassed by all the extra skin?  People say that there's one person for everyone and I thought I had that one person.  I hope they wrong.  I hope that there are more than one.  I'd hate to spend the rest of my life alone.  But since all my friends and family are hell bent on me getting hitched there's a never ending supply of blind dates lined up for the next few weeks.  Did I tell you?  I hate blind dates.

Ben:

I think we're all a little self-conscious about our bodies even after losing the weight. I know I am. As far as dating, when I was obese, I thought no man would look at me because of my weight. When I lost weight, I tried some online dates and met a few guys, but after one date, they'd never call back. So I gave up. I think some people are destined to meet someone and the rest of us (like me) are destined to be alone. And I'm all right with that. I know right now you're feeling kind of out of sorts because you were used to your special person. Me, I'm used to being alone, so unless someone pops up in my life, well, I'm still single. I think you probably need some time to get used to your new body.

I know exactly what you mean Eileen ... I think I am just destined to be an old maid

Hmmm ... old maid ... I don't know if I like that term. I'm happy with my situation. I always said I was single because I was waiting to meet someone like my father who could cook and clean for me. But now with the financial situation worsening, I think I want someone with money who can hire someone to cook and clean for me.

Hi Ben! I am also 55 and getting back into the dating game. It sure is NOT easy. I do have some excess skin that I find embarassing. As long as I keep my clothes on I look pretty good. I think most of us do suffer from low self esteem and really need to work on that. You are lucky that friends and family are trying to help you (blind dates etc). I have resorted to on-line dating and let me tell you THAT is a real experience. If you are not ready to date you need to thank them for their help but let them know you just are not ready yet. Good luck!

Most of the women that my friends introduce me to are the kind of women that I find attractive and I don't mean just physically attractive.  I like a woman with a little fire and something to say.  I'm not real good with dumb women. 

Hi Ben

You know, a year isn't very long to recover from losing your wife. You haven't given your heart enough time to heal.  Maybe you should socialize in groups for a while until you feel more comfortable and can focus on the uniqueness of a new woman in your life.  You sound like a very nice man. I'm sure there are lots of nice women out there who would like to get acquainted with you.   I agree, blind dates are for the birds. 

I'll tell you what Ben- you are in a buyer's market, 55 and a single man? If you really want companionship you might want to take advantage of those blind dates. But don't feel any pressure to make commitments to the women. Enjoy yourself- bask in the attention... I remember dating as being a lot of fun... some nerves of course, but having different men vying for me was just fun! That's something I miss since I'm married and comitted. I hear what you're saying about extra skin. My style would be to explain the situation before "sex" comes up. Most women will be very understanding. At our age we women are less than perfect too- saggy boobs (sometimes scarred or only one boob), flabby thighs, tummy issues....I would be relieved to talk about the "nervous about being naked" stuff. I'll be interested in hearing about your dates. I for one think that there are many possible mates for one person, and you may choose someone very different in the later years than you chose as a younger man. You may have to kiss a lot of women though- are you up for that? :)
Julia

RIGHT ON JULIA! haha This is a really tough market for women 50 + and the men in this age bracket are a HOT COMMODITY for sure.

Barbara is right though. It is a whole different ball game when you are grieving a loss and trying to pull your life back together. It takes time.

Buyer's market.  I might need to rethink this situation.  Most of the women that I see are kind of weird.  I think when you strip away the losers out there the market is a level playing field.  I don't mean to be rude but there's a reason why many of the women that I've met are single.