OT:How To Come Out of Hiding

Isolation

There are times in our lives when withdrawing from our social obligations and taking some time to be alone is necessary to rejuvenate our energy and renew our connection to ourselves. However, there are also times when withdrawal is a red flag, indicating an underlying sense of depression or some other problem. We may not even have consciously decided to isolate ourselves but wake up one day to find that we have been spending most of our time alone. Perhaps it’s been a long time since friends who used to call have given up. Without anyone inviting us out, we sink deeper into alienation.

The longer our isolation lasts, the harder it becomes to reach out to people. It is as if we have failed to exercise a particular muscle, and now it is so weak we don’t know how to use it. Yet, in order to return to a healthy, balanced state of being, that’s exactly what we need to do. If you find yourself in this situation, call an understanding friend who will listen to you with compassion, not a defensive friend who may have taken your withdrawal personally. The last thing you need is to be chided; a negative response could intensity your isolation. If you don’t have a kind friend you can rely on, call a spiritual counselor or therapist. They may be able to help you determine the underlying cause of your isolation and help you find your way out of it.

When you’ve been in a pattern of secluding yourself, it can begin to seem impossible that you could reenter the world of friendships, conversations, and group activities, but with time, you will. Most people will understand if you take the time to explain that you’ve fallen out of touch and would like to reconnect. Take your time and be gentle with yourself, starting with one person and building from there. Try to reach out to one new person every week. Before you know it, you will find yourself back in the company of friends.

 Boy, this sure hit home with me.  I've withdrawn from posting on here and have a hard time re entering the chat.  I've also withdrawn from some of my group meetings (sewing guild)  that was beneficial at the time.  Now it's time to get back in the swing of things.

Millie

WOW! This has linduhm written all over it!
tHANKS Darlene!

Sometimes, I think we can hide without going anywhere.  What I mean is it's easy to be somewhere and go through the superficial motions of friendship or support, but it is really difficult to connect to people in an intimate way.  And sometimes, I think, in spite of our best efforts, we tend to make reentry hard on those people who have withdrawn. 

YES!!! Darlene, you get right to the heart of the matter. Thank you for sharing.

That's me, sugar coat.  

Aloha wise friend.....

As I've expressed on here several times, this is exactly what is happening to me. I am becoming more and more of a recluse, and wanting/needing interaction with people less and less. It hasn't seemed like a problem except when I find myself avoiding social situations and fun times in favor of being home alone.

Without going into it here....I appreciate your shining a light on this life's reality that happens to some of us. I will try and share my experience as I go through it, and I'm hoping someday to maybe get back my delight in being a go-go person like I used to be.

Aloha nui loa,

Maui Karen

Karen, I have found that over the last year, I am avoiding situations that require a lot of emotional energy from me.  Like, for instance, I will go to lectures or parties that are given by my colleagues or the department chairs but I hate going to visit my sisters or my close friends.  I just hate the emotional crap that I must deal with when I'm with them.  When I am with co-workers or department people, I can use that facade that I use that is my one of my social identities that I cannot use with my intimate friends or family; they see right past it. LOL.  So, I have been avoiding real life situations in favor of work related and lightweight related activities.  I think the emotional baggage that we wls people are dealing with in terms of our new bodies and keeping our new bodies andhow people respond to us now as opposed to how people responded to us previously and on top of all that, we are still very fraigile beings.  Our food issues are still there and we are dealing with new food issues and how to manuever through these post op changes.  I tell you, I just cannot deal with the baggage that comes from my past.  If I hear one more of my sisters tell me that I have lost too much weight, I swear I will bite her head off and say, you want me to eat, okay, chomp chomp chomp. LOL. 
You are fine and are just going through this process in a way that protects you.  But, and I say this as a member of your online family, you must get out and mingle with real people.  Even if you are only going for coffee.  But, you know this. right?

Aloha Jeannie........You have hit a nail on the head! I do find myself accepting invitations that I know will be superficial chit chat dinners, etc. I don't have to deal with FEELINGS, but can gossip and talk TV, condo haps, news, etc. without peeling any layers away from my "mask." In the past, I would find myself longing for relationships that went deeper, and bored easily of the superficial. Now, it's like it has flip flopped, and I find safety in the mundane, and shy away from digging below the surface....like right now.....Ha!.

Thanks for helping me look at this from a different perspective.

Aloha nui loa,

Maui Karen

Ditto, Karen