OT:Stepping Back From Anger

Darlene
on 7/14/09 12:58 pm
Argument

When we find ourselves in an argument, we may feel like we are losing control of emotions that have taken on lives of their own. When we can become aware that this is happening, taking a deep breath can help us step back from the situation. Once we can separate ourselves from the heat of the moment, we may find that the emotional trigger that began the argument has little to do with the present situation, but may have brought up feelings related to something else entirely. Looking honestly at what caused our reaction allows us to consciously respond more appropriately to the situation and make the best choices.

We can make an agreement with our partners and those closest to us that asking questions can help all of us discover the source of the argument. The shared awareness can result in finding simple solutions to something physical, like low blood sugar or even a hormonal surge. Maybe we are taking ourselves too seriously, and we can just laugh and watch the tension dissolve. We could also discover that perhaps we are addicted to the excitement that drama brings and the chemicals that our body creates when we are angry. But there may be a deeper issue that requires discussion, understanding, and patience. The more we allow ourselves to step back and examine our reasons for arguing, the easier it becomes to allow real feelings to surface and guide us toward solutions that improve our lives.

When we can be clear about our feelings and intentions and communicate them clearly, we have a far better chance of getting what we want than if we lose control or allow our subconscious minds to manipulate the situation. We might take our frustrations out on the people closest to us because we feel safe and comfortable with them, but misplaced anger can cause more harm than good. Arguing for what we truly believe can empower us and help us to direct our passions toward greater life experiences. Truly knowing our reasons for arguing enables us to grow emotionally in ways that will affect our whole being.

Women are angels.
...and when someone breaks our wings, we simply continue to fly...on a broomstick.

We are flexible.

Darlene
 


George T.
on 7/14/09 1:07 pm - Grand Prairie, TX
Just curious as to where you find these writings.  They are informative.  Do you write them?



GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!!!                   
 

Darlene
on 7/14/09 1:44 pm
No, I get them in a newsletter that I subscribe to and if i find them fitting I post them. I have always said they come from the newsletter, maybe not every post but every couple I do....I will never take credit for something I do not author my self.
Women are angels.
...and when someone breaks our wings, we simply continue to fly...on a broomstick.

We are flexible.

Darlene
 


lightswitch
on 7/14/09 2:25 pm

Darlene,

I agree that our emotions don't always respond appropriately.  Sometimes, I think when I get the most angry, it is usually only triggered by an event, but the reason I'm really mad has nothing to do with the trigger.



butterjoy
on 7/14/09 8:11 pm - Elkview, WV
I enjoy reading your articles.  Thanks for sending them.

JOY

* Our family is a circle of love and strength. With every birth and every union, the circle grows. Every joy shared adds more love. Every obstacle faced together makes the circle stronger. The love of a family is life's greatest blessing.   
     I have reached my goal! Praying angel:9896

Connie D.
on 7/14/09 10:13 pm
Darlene....keep the info coming....I learn so much!!

Love and hugs.....connie d
bornagain3
on 7/15/09 5:06 am - Scottsville, VA
I got angry last night at my husband as we were trying to follow directions driving to a meeting.  That anger later turned into depression that lasted about a day and 1/2!  Only anger turned inward!!!

A good walk helped get it out of my system.

Jeane
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