What we are eating and what's eating us.Wednesday.
Ola!! I hope all my friends are OK today. What battles we have! I have medical problems...no diabetes,no high blood pressure.asthma under control. I know a lot of my medical situations are from the devastation of my body and I am the perpetrator.
"Do not go gentle into that good night,old age should burn and rave at close of day; Rage,rage against the dying of the light". -Dylan Thomas
Today I ate: Pork chop,rice and onion gravy,spinach with chopped onion,1/2 slice of whole wheat with bran,oats,and honey. 1 yogurt,2 slices of provolone,2 slices of muenster,chocolate pudding,fresh blue berries and cottage cheese (tastes like cheese cake). My appetite has once again abated.
114 today,record breaking or record melting weather!
WHAT WE FEAR,WE CREATE.
sorry about your medical problems Linda, and hope you have a good
day my darling!!!
im starting off this morning with an atkins bar since i have to go out
early to get my car serviced.
not sure what the rest of the day will bring, but im working on keeping
it within good limits
wishing everyone a grand day
be safe and well, hugs, jacki
Anyway,what I was thinking is the fat content of those bars.As I recall,Atkins was not concerned with fat,but I may be wrong,I am going to goggle it. It looks like it varies. My NUT allows 35 gms of fat and says it is important to have that daily,so in my early times,I found out how easy it is to get that,like a chicken leg...whoa.
I do not worry too much now,as a lot of my food is repetitive,I am still a adamant reader when it is a new product.
I hope your day is as good as you are.
Huge,warm,strong Hug!!
WHAT WE FEAR,WE CREATE.
Atkins bars (the granola ones) have 8 grams of fat in them, 200 cals and 17 or 18 grams of protein depending on the bar. I love them, and have to keep them away from Gary...LOL.
I'm supposed to get 47 grams of fat a day, and rarely get that in, so these are a great source of protein and gives me my "sweet fix" that I can't seem to get away from. I don't eat them every day, but I try to always have them at work for the times that I get too busy to eat a planned meal. I can break of pieces and have some between clients to keep me going.
Susan
You don't speak of Gary often,I hope he is doing well.
I have been up all night,Olivia and I visited until 4 this morning,she came over at 9AM,I so enjoy that. I made dinner for everyone,and I went walking with the boys,and of course Miss,Pookie.I enjoy that so much,although I can not straighten my back as it is painful to my knees when I use my walker,that should change after my surgeries,of course when I walk around the house,I practice good posture,I ain't about to become a little bent over lady,but for now,c'est la vie. The boys love talking to me, and they run races which is so good for them. If we went out during the day,we would burn up like vampires exposed to the sun!
I am making a turkey today,the price was right,59 cents a pound girl! Olivia is not much for turkey,the rest of us are,including my Pookie. I am making Olivia some country ribs,with home made sauce. I have no recipe for my sauce,I just throw things together until it tastes right,and it does include fresh lemon and low cal brown sugar. They are marinating now,she is soooo spoiled..LOL. I am also making chopped egg salad,the boys love it as do I,when the eggs expiration date gets close,I do this,but haven't done it in quite awhile,not a batch anyway. Liv does not always handle eggs well,but when she is in the mood,she does pretty well. I only use 3/4Th's of the white,it makes it creamy without using much mayonnaise,that along with the relish moisturizes it without adding too much fat. I am cooking 2 dozen,so they will have the benefit of the egg whites.I do not use low fat mayonnaise,but I do not use it often,so it works out. There are some things I will not compromise,I would rather have a little of something I enjoy,than more of something I will not enjoy,does that make sense? I also refuse to feel guilty about any food I eat,now that took a lot of work. It seems I have always lived in shame and guilt about food. I was beaten and made to eat when I was young,as I was thin as a rail. I would "play" with my food,and be startled by yelling and table banging by my dad. Of course you remember when chubby kids were considered healthy. My dad was also West Indian,and they like hefty women,culturally and generally speaking. The only one who did not bother me about my eating was my grandma,the time I spent with her was the happiest time of my young life. She had me from 3 months,until I was 6. I eventually learned to eat without feeling,and I can share these things without pain,this is due to the work I have done,12 step work. I let it come out when it comes out,it may help someone else to reconcile some of the pain they had,or are having.
Well,Miss Sue,that was a big holla! I always say I never went to kindergarten which I didn't so I did not learn those little lessons about sharing and such,but boy oh boy can I share now,food,money,support..smile.
There is a common theory now,that says anorexia,bulimia,and over eating are all different facets of the same disease. This I know to be true,as I once lost weight down to a size 12 Tall,and made the mistake of going back to my husband (the 2ND one,the dad of my kids),of course things did not take long to get back to the turmoil that caused us to separate in the first place. I started making myself throw up so I would not gain the weight back. This was almost 30 years ago,so there were no definitions on a broad scale.
Now I fantasize,about my ex and I walking into a 12 step meeting,(he was an alcoholic,but lives in recovery now),anyway, we walk in together,and after meeting,he goes to the left and I walk to the right,we never see each other again,and they live happily ever after,without each other,LOL.
We have a decent relationship now,I am on his email list and he sends funny jokes and such everyday. We talk briefly when necessary,and since he lost one of his two sisters,he appreciates me staying in touch with his mom. I am making her a afghan now...smile.
I think I am going to paste this to Jeannie's thread. You must be a darn good stylist,as you are easy to talk to,even miles away. Anyway babes,those 12 steps,which I did twice,and also live by,have been the greatest gift to me,and enabled me to live successfully. WLS helped me with the physical,the 12 steps help me daily,to live in recovery from the food dragon...smile.
So,we all move forward,we have welded a wonderfully strong linked chain here on OFF,for this,I am eternally grateful.
I also notice I am much calmer than I was when I was fat. This comes to mind because of a question someone on another forum asked, how our weight loss has changed us. I mentioned to them I still enjoy a good joke,I love to laugh,however,the jokes are no longer at my expense.
I do not know what the future holds,but I do not fear it. I do not wish to return to my old job,I know that is a risque thought these days,but I did not notice how much it stressed me out until recently,by being off.
I also think I would not like to work in the place where I was almost 500 pounds. I believe if I am able to go to work again,there will be a job for me. Sales is not the place to be these days. As you know,I am not a traditional Christan,and I consider parts of the bible as parables,when I feel fear about my future coming on,like my check only being 200 dollars because my jobs agents did not get the paper work in,because the doctor did not respond,or her notes were not clear,blah,blah,anyway, I recall sayings and teachings of Jesus,Buddha,and others....so when the fear of sitting on the street or any other bizarre uncertainties come up,this quote comes to mind and I have used it a lot recently,"In my Father's house,there are many mansions",or one from another religions teaching: The simple good farmer was having a conversation with the clay bucket he totes water in everyday. The pot says to him,"Why do you use me,I leak,and you lose water on the way back from the well to your home everyday,you have other pots that would serve your better". The farmer said,"Do you see these beautiful flowers that grace my yard so beautifully and bring me such joy everyday?" If it were not for your crack,they would not be watered,and would not have grown.
I have learned much in this life,I have learned humbleness,which was the hardest lesson,as I have so much pride,but I am growing,I have learned to forgive,as I have had to ask for forgiveness. I have learned much. I tell ya,when Jeannie (Lightswitch),throws a question out there,she makes me dig deep. Thank you Jeannie,I am happy our relationship has grown,look at what I would have missed had it not.
So,it is almost 7:30,I have been up all night,I have detail cleaned my kitchen,grin.
I will go to sleep soon,and my mind will be at peace,so WLS has done so much more than help me shed poundage,which I consider to be a manifestation of my disease/addiction.
I thank all of you,including Darlene...
Today is a good day,Doris Day is singing to me in my head,"Que Sera Sera"(What will Be,will be).
WHAT WE FEAR,WE CREATE.
To answer your question about Versed. It is the amnesia drug used for colonoscopies, endoscopies , etc. The effects make me forget from one minute to the next for HOURS afterward.
Today I am returning to work. I am only seeing one client (the easy one). My boss has a sub for the other one (super difficult****il the middle of September. I may not take her back, too much stress and not worth the $$.
Tom plopped me into bed yesterday and scolded each time I got up. Lady of Leisure was my new title. That really wasn't necessary but sweet. I humored him .
Kisses
Annette
Annette 
Your Tom is precious,how wonderful of you to "humor him."
OK....so amnesia so you can relax,or not remember the indignity??
Well,thank heavens it will be over soon,I have not had that,but I do need a "well woman"battery of tests,as does Olivia,hey,we know I am not a "well woman",the last time they squeezed the girls so flat,I thought they were looking for milk!
Sis,you know you are in my thoughts,and prayers.
Call me if ya need me.
Hugs.
WHAT WE FEAR,WE CREATE.
Okay, here's the deal, I have my daughter's three kids here and tomorrow night, my son and his family will be here and let me just say, I am already exhausted. I was so happy for bed time. I hate medical issues but you know what I've noticed? The doctors are so much more eager to treat me now that I am small. When I was huge, if I had gone in for a belly ache, they would say, lose weight. Now, I go in and they run every test under the sun. Yeah. Makes me sick the way the medical profession discrimminates against fat people.
Food:
B: egg, biscuit, bacon
S: melon
S: cheese
L: chicken
S: cheese
S; cherries
D: chicken and baked potato.
S: peanut butter.
Holy Hanna Jeannie,you have a full plate,no wonder you are tired. If you are like me,and many with our addiction,you also want everything to be perfect,which adds stress even though they are your beloveds.
The menu is impressive. You are going to have to go to work to get some rest!
Take care,my Southern Belle!
WHAT WE FEAR,WE CREATE.
Yesterday's food:
Protein shake and supplements
2 eggs/ 1 slice toast
Snack: beef jerky
Lunch: Clam chowder (at the beach again . . . )
Snack: peanut butter crackers
Dinner: chicken caesar salad
Snack: 1 tbsp peanut butter/dad of honey
Walked on the beach for miles and miles. . .
Chehalis, where Erin lives made the Seattle news. 105 yesterday and supposed to be hotter today, plus it's humid. Thank goodness she has air conditioning. A lot of people here on the west side do not.
Karen C
