For the first time of this journey, I questioned myself

Hey everyone,

Last night after all the guests had left from the bridal shower, my husband told me that my daughter shared with him her concern about my surgery and was I doing the right thing.  My brother-in-law also commented to them (I wasn't there when they were talking about this) how he would not have elective surgery.  It made me think for a moment - this is the first negative statements I've heard, although I have not shared my upcoming surgery with too many people.

Brenda's statement about "keeping my eye on the prize" popped back into my head.  I know I need to do this for my health and well-being.  I need to keep remaining positive.

Just wondering if anyone else had a similar situation occur before their surgery?

Thanks for all of the support everyone offers here!  Have a great Sunday.

good morning debbie

it is very normal before surgery to have doubts, especially when friends
and family express concerns they have.

this is no way means you are making the wrong decision.  it is just their
way of coping with how they feel about you.

the only thing i can compare it to, is if you wanted surgery for some other
reason other than weight loss that would be elective.  it still doesnt mean that
it is the wrong decision.  there are people out there that would never have
surgery even if they needed it because of their fears. my oldest son did not
understand why I was having the surgery 3 years ago, but today he sees what
it has done for me and how i feel.

i agree with brenda about keeping your eye on the prize, which will be a new and
better you.  and a healthier you!!

i hope i helped a little bit, hugs always,

jacki

Jacki,

Thanks for sharing your thoughts with me.  I've been extremely positive throughout my entire journey.  It was for a few moments last night that I actually heard someone else's thoughts, actually my daughter's thoughts.  She asked me if I was sure that I wanted to do this, and I said yes...I have to do this for my health.

I realize that not everyone would go through this surgery.  It takes strength, determination, preparation/education to prepare and follow through.  There are so many strong-willed people here on this forum.  Congratulations to each of you!

Thanks again, Jacki.  I hope you are doing well and feeling great!  Have a great day.

Hey there:
I had the same thing happen to me ..... a week before surgery my only child, my son, came and tried to talk me out of having the surgery.
I tried to explain that it was for my health and well being and I knew it was God's plan for me.   He and my DIL did come and stay with me while I was in the hospital for two days, but to this day, he will not say anything about my weight loss.....yes, he's a big guy and my DIL
is way overweight.    He knows in his heart I did the right thing and I think he's happy for me, but he never expresses it.   I have lots of other support, so it's ok, but it still hurts when it's your own family.

I know since we lost his Dad, he was worried he might lose me too, but I also knew it was in God's hands and I would be just fine.

Don't let someone else rain on your parade -- this is for you and you only.  

Best wishes - you'll be just fine.

Pat R.

If he could only realize that he was "losing" you as it was. We were slowly (on not so slowly) killing ourselves weren't we? I know I was.

Thanks so much, Karen.  I really do need to do this for my health.

D

On August 16, 2009 at 4:17 AM Pacific Time, RoseyNo wrote: Jacki,

Thanks for sharing your thoughts with me.  I've been extremely positive throughout my entire journey.  It was for a few moments last night that I actually heard someone else's thoughts, actually my daughter's thoughts.  She asked me if I was sure that I wanted to do this, and I said yes...I have to do this for my health.

I realize that not everyone would go through this surgery.  It takes strength, determination, preparation/education to prepare and follow through.  There are so many strong-willed people here on this forum.  Congratulations to each of you!

Thanks again, Jacki.  I hope you are doing well and feeling great!  Have a great day.

  Debbie:   You answered your own question when you said: "It takes strength, determination, preparation/education to prepare and follow through".....And YOU have done all these.  It is very normal to have some negative feelings right before this WLS.  I had these feelngs before the surgery and worried and wondered:  "Is this the right decision....Will it work....Will I REALLY lose all the weight the surgeons says I will....and on and on.  Now 9 months and 114 pounds lighter, my health is great, I feel great, I look great (people tell me) and I am so glad I made that big decision and I would do it again in a heart beat.
People sometimes say the wrong things only because they are concerned for your welfare and love you and are NOT educated on the subject of WLS.  Hang in there dear gal and I wish you nothing but the best.

Hugs to you,
Sandy

debbie- this one is so hard- and so personal--

some folks hear things from family because they are legitimately scared for your health- some because they don't want to lose their food partner (how many friends do you have that maybe you breakfast or lunch with?) -some because they simply are not educated about what you are doing-some (usually spouses) because they are afraid you will become thenew and  improved you and not have any use for them....some are just ..well- and children are afraid to lose their parent as pat suggested.....sometimes, if the person has only known you overweight they are afraid that your personality will cahnge too much--sometimes they just are plain ol scared....


my husband was afraid because years ago 3 or 4 friends had stomach stapling and i want to say 3 died afterward from complications- medicine has improved muchos since then!!!there are still horror stories and not every patient has 100% fantastic results or procedure-that is wher eyou need faith in your choice of surgeon and team and the clearances you received pre op....

this is about you-choices YOU are making for your health and the ability to have a future.....

you have shown determination and drive - and the rest is up to you--it IS a soul searching time and there ARE risks...if you have a faith in God or any higher power now is the time to do some talking with that power and place it in His (their -whoevers-trying not to get churchy here!!)  hands....this is NOT the easy way to lose weight -tho for many it does fall of quickly after surgery--it is WORK and it is a LIFE CHANGE.....

i hope that you will take this time to do this searching--i think you know in your heart it is what you need/want to do....however- it must be YOUR decision!!!!!

i'm here with ya --and the rest of OFF is too....getting ready to dust off your space on the loser's bench...hugs and prayers to you this morning!!!!

Aww Debbie, remember what Brenda said "keep your eyes on the prize", I to had family members who were afraid they just didn't want me to do this. But I left it all in Gods hands and felt my health was getting so bad and I wouldn't be alive if I didn't do this. Believe me the prize is amazing, I feel sooooooo good and yesterday at a party the compliments were amazing. People were shocked. My health is now great so that is the real prize. The family just worries. You will be fine.
Hugs GAil

Hi,
I did not have WLS but I have had Plastic Surgery and plan on doing at least 3 more rounds of it.....all plastic surgery is "elective".  I believe regardless of the type of surgery, i.e WLS or plastics, the fact that it is elective is what freaks out our friends and family.  My parents cannot understand why I am doing all this plastic surgery.  But then they have not seen my lower body without clothing so they don't see what I see (a sharpei dog!).  Because to everyone else these surgeries are not "necessary" they question the need for it.  

I totally know what you are going through.  Heads-up......you may even start to doubt your own decision about doing it because it is elective but remember you are choosing to improve your health and improve your overall life.  Have faith in your decision.

Best wishes on your journey.......
Ruth