How do I stop caring?
Hey Darlene,
Happy 9 year surgiversary. I'm guilty of not reading every post on here. I do want to let you know that I have appreciated every one of your posts that I have read. I know that you are a person and a valued member of OFF.
You are spirited and help all that request it. Please don't change. I will try to do better to recognize everyone's milestones. Please forgive me when I don't though.
I wish you all the best. How are things going?
Warm regards,
Bev
Happy 9 year surgiversary. I'm guilty of not reading every post on here. I do want to let you know that I have appreciated every one of your posts that I have read. I know that you are a person and a valued member of OFF.
You are spirited and help all that request it. Please don't change. I will try to do better to recognize everyone's milestones. Please forgive me when I don't though.
I wish you all the best. How are things going?
Warm regards,
Bev
Marc,
It is never too late to say "Hey world, I am important too". Because you ARE important.
I think many of us have always put on a happy face and taken whatever the world doles out. Finally we get tired of being the last person in the pecking order.
Solution? I'll be darned if I know the answer. The ones you just LIKE, dunno how to get the idea to them. I guess the best way to begin is talk calmly to the ones you Love. We don't always LIKE the ones we love so they hurt us the most.
Vent away, we can give you sympathy, empathy, and lend an ear.
After all my blathering, I am going to get into my jammies instead of ignoring my hubby as I sit on the computer.
See ... you made a difference, you ARE important. I appreciate you.
Don't let the 3astards get you down. You are a good person!!
Kisses
Annette
It is never too late to say "Hey world, I am important too". Because you ARE important.
I think many of us have always put on a happy face and taken whatever the world doles out. Finally we get tired of being the last person in the pecking order.
Solution? I'll be darned if I know the answer. The ones you just LIKE, dunno how to get the idea to them. I guess the best way to begin is talk calmly to the ones you Love. We don't always LIKE the ones we love so they hurt us the most.
Vent away, we can give you sympathy, empathy, and lend an ear.
After all my blathering, I am going to get into my jammies instead of ignoring my hubby as I sit on the computer.
See ... you made a difference, you ARE important. I appreciate you.
Don't let the 3astards get you down. You are a good person!!
Kisses
Annette
Annette 
I like to think I'm a giver, but lately people have been so nice to me and I don't feel like I'm recipricating. I'm a lousey host, if I'm not thirsty, I don't think to offer anyone something to drink, or snack on. Thank goodness my hubby is a great host, he makes up for my downfalls.
You've made me think about my actions lately. I've been wrapped up in our move and my surgery and everything, I don't think I've been making time for my friends.
I'm glad you vented here, because it's making me re=evaluate my actions lately.
Jan
You've made me think about my actions lately. I've been wrapped up in our move and my surgery and everything, I don't think I've been making time for my friends.
I'm glad you vented here, because it's making me re=evaluate my actions lately.
Jan
Wow Marc (I remembered "with a c"), where do I start?
The first thing I want to say is don't change you. I understand where you are coming from. But two wrongs do not make a right. Do what is right in your heart. The Lord will see it, and ultimately, that is what counts.
I have a friend, who I consider a real good friend. I noticed I was initiating most conversations, cell phone or text or email. Normally two or three contacts a week. So, I just decided to see what would happen if I stopped calling. He did notice, but it took almost 3 months. He finally called me asking if everything was alright. I guess I should be thankful he noticed. After 90 days.
Nancy hit it right on. This is a "ME" society. People like us are out of place in it. But it does not mean we are wrong. There is nothing wrong with a caring heart.
Marraige wise, I feel for you. I can't say I know how you feel, because I am very fortunate. Mary is wonderful. She did have a few years (about 5 or so) where I had to initiate everything. Conversation, intimacy, etc. But I know the reason was all the medications she was on. Since her WLS, she is a new person. But we all know how WLS has changed all our lives.
Hang in there buddy. And hey, if you have a cell phone and texting, let me know. I answer texts all the time. The only time I don't is between 7AM and 2PM (my sleeping hours). But if you want my number and want to text, I am here. PM me if you want.
The first thing I want to say is don't change you. I understand where you are coming from. But two wrongs do not make a right. Do what is right in your heart. The Lord will see it, and ultimately, that is what counts.
I have a friend, who I consider a real good friend. I noticed I was initiating most conversations, cell phone or text or email. Normally two or three contacts a week. So, I just decided to see what would happen if I stopped calling. He did notice, but it took almost 3 months. He finally called me asking if everything was alright. I guess I should be thankful he noticed. After 90 days.
Nancy hit it right on. This is a "ME" society. People like us are out of place in it. But it does not mean we are wrong. There is nothing wrong with a caring heart.
Marraige wise, I feel for you. I can't say I know how you feel, because I am very fortunate. Mary is wonderful. She did have a few years (about 5 or so) where I had to initiate everything. Conversation, intimacy, etc. But I know the reason was all the medications she was on. Since her WLS, she is a new person. But we all know how WLS has changed all our lives.
Hang in there buddy. And hey, if you have a cell phone and texting, let me know. I answer texts all the time. The only time I don't is between 7AM and 2PM (my sleeping hours). But if you want my number and want to text, I am here. PM me if you want.
GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!!!
Marc....you have received some good information here and I pretty much agree with it all. I won't bother to say something that has already been said.
However....you ARE cared about and I do love hearing from you....when you are away you are missed!! You have the greatest sense of humor and you are a kind and caring person.
Sorry things have been so bad for you right now. Many people just don't take the time to care for anyone but themselves anymore. Please don't change!!!
As for relationships...they are hard....we all need to sit back and remember why we are with our significant other.
Why did we chose each other in the first place....try to bring it back around to how it once was. I know from personal experience it doesn't always work no matter how hard we try. But...we do need to try!
(((HUGS))) connie d
However....you ARE cared about and I do love hearing from you....when you are away you are missed!! You have the greatest sense of humor and you are a kind and caring person.
Sorry things have been so bad for you right now. Many people just don't take the time to care for anyone but themselves anymore. Please don't change!!!
As for relationships...they are hard....we all need to sit back and remember why we are with our significant other.
Why did we chose each other in the first place....try to bring it back around to how it once was. I know from personal experience it doesn't always work no matter how hard we try. But...we do need to try!
(((HUGS))) connie d
Your right, I have said that for years, I get really hurt i say I don't give a poop, but I really do. Then I do care about people and bend over backwards to do for them.only to get hurt again.
I have decovered years ago that their are givers and takers. Im a giver, this is the way I have been all my life and I cant change who I am.
This seems to be you also and alot on the off forum. We give and give and give again. that is what we do.
Yes I get hurt and feel the pain within my heart,but I believe I must help others an go out of my way to do this.
I Feel good that I can give people help when needed. but not all people are so un caring, they do say thank you, good job .These are the people I know that I have helped and they appreciate it. that it what keeps me going.
Carol
I have decovered years ago that their are givers and takers. Im a giver, this is the way I have been all my life and I cant change who I am.
This seems to be you also and alot on the off forum. We give and give and give again. that is what we do.
Yes I get hurt and feel the pain within my heart,but I believe I must help others an go out of my way to do this.
I Feel good that I can give people help when needed. but not all people are so un caring, they do say thank you, good job .These are the people I know that I have helped and they appreciate it. that it what keeps me going.
Carol
Hi Marc,
Stay as you are. I don't think you can change your spots this late in the game. I too, know where you are coming from. My husband, my son, my daughter-in-law fall in the same boat with your wife and daughter. My job is great though. I've been lucky to have bosses that appreciate me. It must be why I've been there ten years and through seven lay-offs.
It is heartbreaking. Hopefully, you will come through this stronger in knowing that caring for others is the right thing to do even if "they" don't reciprocate.
I made a mistake when I started my OFF account that I gave my name. So I have to be careful how much I reveal as some family members might be reading. I do understand.
Feel better.
Bev
Stay as you are. I don't think you can change your spots this late in the game. I too, know where you are coming from. My husband, my son, my daughter-in-law fall in the same boat with your wife and daughter. My job is great though. I've been lucky to have bosses that appreciate me. It must be why I've been there ten years and through seven lay-offs.
It is heartbreaking. Hopefully, you will come through this stronger in knowing that caring for others is the right thing to do even if "they" don't reciprocate.
I made a mistake when I started my OFF account that I gave my name. So I have to be careful how much I reveal as some family members might be reading. I do understand.
Feel better.
Bev
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