It's official - cancer X-post

I had my gallbladder out on Sept 3.  My surgeon wanted to talk to me on the 9th about my pathology report.  The gallbladder contained a cancerous tumor.  Adenosquamous carcinoma.  The gallbladder lies up against the liver.  Yesterday I saw Dr. Zervos at ECU.  A surgical oncologist.I guess I never really thought it WAS cancer when it seemed there was a possibility that it could have all been confined to the gall bladder.  But lets get real, here.The tumor was about 1" in diameter.  The cancer had progressed to the lymph ducts (nodes?) inside the gall bladder.  It had been growing for probably a year.I've known there was something wrong with my gallbladder.  I was trying to wait until Medicare and my med sup would pay for the removal when I turned 65.  Then I came into a little money and decided this was one of the things I would spend some of it on.  I will have to pay 20% of the allowable charges for all of this.  I'm not sure what my catastrophic cap is.  But I do know this will run into 2 fiscal years, so I will be paying up to that amount twice!Thursday the 17th, Dr. Zervos will operate.  He will remove about 2 cm's of my liver.  The area that the gallbladder comes in contact with.  He will also remove the bile duct and replace it with a piece of my intestine.  The surgery will take about 2.5 hours.  I'll be in the hospital for a week.  Then at home recovering for 3 more weeks.  Then I will begin radiation.  Not sure on the length of that.I had a CT scan yesterday, as well.  If the doctor had seen a nodule in my liver, there would have been no surgery.  Just the option of chemo to slow it down and prolong my life for a short period.  I would NOT have taken that option.  He saw no nodules, so surgery is a go.My daughter came from Oregon on Thursday afternoon.  She will stay until my surgery is over.  When all goes well with that, she will go back to OR and perhaps come for some of the radiation.  I did not think it was necessary for her to come.  I am eternally grateful that she did.She and my DIL took me to the doctor yesterday.  Then we all had a 'family meeting' while they discussed my treatment.  Who would be going with me on Thursday (I am hoping for just my girls).  Who will be staying in Greenville during my week in the hosp. (Just give me some books and you can all go home, is my wish).  Who will bring me home from the hosp. (I hope it's a weekend).   Who will check in on me during my 3 weeks recovery and who will get me to and from radiation (depending on where it is).I am feeling very guilty about all of this.  And I know everyone is gonna say DON'T.  But this is disrupting the lives of many people.  This is costing my family time and money away from work and their families.Our son will probably be gone until it is time for my radiation. There is nothing that can be done about it, and there is nothing he could do if he was here.  Our DD has many work obligations she is giving up, plus events with her kids that are having to be cancelled.  She will be spending time back and forth.  Using up her sick and vacation time, costing big bucks.  Our DIL is also using up all her sick and vacation days for me.  One grandson has sports tournaments that should not be ignored.  The other one has a very light schedule at college this semmester, so I'm sure he will be seeing less of his girlfriend and his buddies, and more of his grandparents.  My DH doesn't drive, so someone else will have to be getting the groceris, etc while I am 'laid up' for 2 months.  They are all being so understanding and accepting of all this work.  I am blessed!Of course, there is still the remote possibility that there is no cancer in the liver, or the lymph nodes around it.  But the odds are not good  None of us asked about a prognosis for after the surgery and radiation.Just wanted all of you to know.  After Thursday it will probably be awhile before ya'll 'hear' from me on the net.

Oh Grammy, so sorry to hear of your health issues.  I know it's got to be so hard for you right now.  This is the right place to come for prayers and support during this trying time.  You know we're all here for you.  If there is anything we can do for you please post or have someone post for you.  I will definately pray for you and add you to our prayer chain at church.  You know you would do the same for your kids if the roles were reversed.  Relish their love.
God bless and watch over you.
Jan

Carolyn...first-you have my love and prayers...
next-DON'T Feel guilty is right--they are all doing whatever they need to because you are their mother/grandmother etc...you are family and family pulls together--you truly are blessed to have such caring family and they will stuck by you-as we will however you let us!

please let someone get on the OFF site to give us progress reports...not knowing is a horrible feeling--i know this feeling as my best friend has cut me out of her life and i hurt for not knowing ......

thank you for coming to us with this news, albeit grim. and know that we love you here.
hugs,margo

I agree with Margo.  Don't feel one bit guilty about needing your family and friends.  The good news is the liver seems okay and it seems as though the surgery is preventative.   Take all the help you can get and be certain that your kids would not have it any other way. 

Please accept the love and support your family is providing you during this difficult time....they love you or they wouldn't be there for you.
We are all here for you too with our prayers and good wishes that all goes well with the surgery and recovery.

We are trusting in a higher power to get you thru the next weeks and days. 

We never anticipate when these things happen to us, but it is for a reason that someday we will know...

Be strong, take heart, and know that all of us wish you the very best in this journey.....

Sending hugs and love,
Pat R.

I am so sorry you have to go through all of this. Please let ypur family be there for you. I learned from going through my own cancer that they need to be there for their own peace of mind. They all love you. You will be in my thoughts & prayers.
Nan

Your family needs to be able to do something to help. There is nothing worse than having someone you love needing help and for whatever reason, not being able to help them.  Let them have that . And Grammy, I know this is probably scaring the crap out of you but it sounds like it was caught early and removing a little bit of the liver is a preventative thing. We will all pray for you.  Be strong and let that famly of yours show you how much they love you. Have somebody contact us to let us know how you're doing after the surgery. Give them your password so they can let us know.

I agree....don't feel guilty...if your family didn't want to be with you they wouldn't. They love you and you are very important to them. This is their way of dealing with this  situation. They need to be around you!
My thoughts and prayers continue for you.
I hope someone can let us know how you are doing.

Love and many hugs coming your way....connie d

So sorry to hear this. 

We are all here for you and praying for you and crossing our fingers, toes and everything else possible.
Your family would not be doing this if they didn't love you a lot.  Please let them.  It is so hard when you feel you can't help with anything.  Share your worries and know that I for one know how they feel.  My DH had cancer in 1995 and was in ICU for 4 weeks and then chemo for 3 months  and then radiation for 5 weeks daily.  All has been good since but it sure is a helpless feeling being the one to just drive to appointments.
Please have someone come and and let us know that you are okay or at least coping.
Sheri   {{{HUGS}}}

Grammy, how scary for you and your family. I agree with the others, let them help. There is nothing worse than not being able to help someone they love and I am sure they want to be there for you. Dont forget to have them sign up for the FAMILY MEDICAL LEAVE at their work. When My sisters husband was stricken with cancer her work was giving he problems with taking so much time off of work to be with him. When she signed up for this federal medical leave act, they cant say anything, do anything to her or her job and she cant be fired. It saved her job...I am truley sorry for the cancer diagnosis. Stay positive and at least you listened to your body and did what you had to do. This is the reason we need health care reform damn it !!!!!  sue