Hello Everyone

 Hello All ,,,,just wanted to connect with some over 50 ish Wls friends here and say hello,, I'm having an emotional day today,  darn menopause  alot on my mind and in my life ,,,,,,,met a new man this last Saturday and finally very interested in this one, hard for me to connect because of my health ,we connected ok and going ok, the thing is,,, with 2 divorces I AM SCARED as heck... I am a very compassionate person and in a time in my life that its hard very hard to start over , I have had open heart surgery and cant offer alot , I have let him know this , I have also let him know i was larger , he said thats ok ...i didnt say i had WLS... should I tell him that right away?  he didnt ask how i lost the weight..Didnt congratulate me or anything , just said it was ok... i dont have alot of energy even after Weight loss , and set in my ways alot and because of my heart issues i have to be as comfortable as possible... but can offer compassion,with 10 years of parenting therapy behind me.... how are men in their 50's ? this one just turned 48 yesterday  so i just say he is near 50. I am 52 ...He is in construction work...which is ok with me ... he has mentioned he hopes this will go on.....I want this to work long term ...

I would sure like to relax about this  any advice , ideas what can i expect at this stage in my life? and my situation. will my emotional days subside soon? I have more confidence but probably not enought right now which i need..men always expect alot from women..well thanks for reading about my emotional day.  Have a great one , maybe tomorrow will be better for me......Wendy

It's nice to meet someone to date again. Remember this is dating, not a comitment for a life time. You are just starting a relationship with him. He doesn't need to know all about your life struggles. Frantly, this is a real turn off for me, and if someone stated all the heavy duty staff about their live, I would run. Sorry people, but I want a relationship  just enjoying each others  company in the beginning.You don't know where this reationship is going.
Take any relationship slow , wether it be female or male. Learn to be able to trust and really know each other . He could turn out to be a real jerk .
Sorry you meet a lot of frogs before you meet the prince, in life.
I reallly don't want you to think I'm to harsh, but have been there and done that. I'm a strong woman and wanted a strong man so that our relationship could compliment each others. Wishing you well  Carol

Not Harsh at all, in fact I appreciated your input very much and can take what you said to heart. I will listen and apply from someone who's been there done that.. actually feel better already thank you very much for replying to  my post.....Wendy

Just take it slowly and be in the moment.  What's the use of worrying about what will happen tomorrow   -  tomorrow will take care of itself.
I know  -  it's easy for me to say, but living in the moment can make for a healthier life without worry about the "what ifs?"
Margaret

Enjoy your time together having fun and getting to know each other at a slow pace.  Take your time....and relax....it takes a LONG time to get to know people, meantime, have fun along the way.

If I understand you right you met him about 3 days ago.  How much can you know about him and him about you?  Take it way slow.  It is too early to think long term.  Marriage??? Should not even be going there yet.  Just take it easy and have fun.  Give it a few months before contemplating anything permanent.  I would not open up about my entire life at this point.  I find it worrying that he did not congratulate you on your weight loss.  Just a ...really....wow....would have indicated that he was at least a little interested in you as a human being.  How many times have you seen him.  Maybe he was just a little nervous.  But as you get to know him make sure he is able to be into you as much as he is able to be into himself.  Good luck, have fun, and be happy.

I'm an optimistic realist and which is just to say I live in the real world, but still look for the best in all situations. . .  

So take it from someone with experience here. . .

S L O W is the way to GO!  

Dating it fun, enjoy it and live in the moment.

Welcome to our forum.

 You would want to many more thing's about him before you start making long range plans.
Meet his family, parents, kid's etc, learn about him the person. He may be someone you do not really know yet, but would be willing to learn about his habits, expectations, long life future expectations.
What are his retirement plans. Would he care about your family, do you both have the same hobbies, like golf or travel or whatever they might be. It is the journey that makes a couple learn if they are compatible. You never need to think Marriage these days.
My dad had a lovely lady friend for 26 years. He died recently, and it was a wonderful companionship, they travelled together, went to both families special occassions, birthdays, Christmas, christenings everything. But they both kept their own houses, and both had a life apart from marriage. He had married twice before and both wives died. The both were so content and happy with the relationship. They were devoted but kept a part of themselves for their own families. It takes years to really know a person and they should not know all your business so soon. The courship is a journey, like others have said take it slow and enjoy. Share a little at a time. If it doesn't work out for either of you, you have kept your personal business to yourself.
Like the above person said "I would run" if you came on too strong at first...so would I....fast.
I would not devulge my income, money problems, any financial status. That would only come after a commitment.  As for your health, it is your business to keep it to yourself, unless he has studied the surgery he can't be expected to care, or know what you have gone through.
I hope this works out and you are happy, but it will take some time to get to a place of trust .

This is only my opinion and you might think I am way "off base" but it is what I think.

Good Luck and Bless Lola

HI!
Sorry I'm seeing this so late.........haven't been on line much lately.

So how is it going with your new friend?  

Enjoy dating but don't rush into any commitments.  Gotta take it slow and get to the real person.

Hope it is going well for you and your are having fun.

Ruth
PS- I lived in NE for almost 5 years for my job.....it was great.....I loved it in Omaha!