Scared Spitless

They seem to have unloaded a lot of stuff on you with this visit. I know that it seems overwhelming but know that you have some time to make your decisions. Please make sure you get your rest and that will help to clear your head. You must do what you feel in your heart.

Know that I am keeping you in my prayers for peace and serenity and for knowledge of what you should do. I know that you will choose the right thing for you. I am also keeping your family in prayers too...it is difficult for them also.

Please know that you can come here to us when you need to. We are all here for you during this difficult time....and we will back you in what ever decision that you make.

And here I have been whining about my job situation. I feel like such a jerk! You are going through much worse. My heart reaches out to you. I don't know what to tell you. I have never been through anything like that, nor do I know anyone going through anything like that (well, other than my friend Bruce in Texas, who has end-stage Hodgkins, and will probably be dead soon). I don't know the answer. I had a friend a couple of years ago, Gloria, who was going through some tough times with cancer. She chose to fight it through experimental drugs even though her doctors gave her no hope. I told her if that were me, I would probably go take some drugs and end it right then.

After I said it, I knew it was insensitive and the wrong answer. Gloria told me she wanted to stay alive at least until her son graduated from eighth grade. She had a reason to live. She lived for that graduation, and she made it, but she was very weak. She died the week after. She's been dead three years now. I miss her a lot ... I miss her strength and her wisdom the most.

So my question to you is, What do you have to live for? Think on that. Gloria had something to live for. It kept her going even though the doctors gave her no chance whatsoever.

 Words cannot convey my thoughts right now.  WOW..... I'm praying for the peace that passes understanding.  Rest in HIS hands and follow your instincts.

Millie

You have all made me think.  I know this is a decision I must make myself, but I also can't be selfish.

I would love to live to see a great grandchild or 2.  I HAVE to live to be at my oldest grandson's wedding in August.  I MIGHT be able to do that without treatment.

I have stage II gallbladder cancer.  The type of cancer cells are adenosquamous.  A combination of 2 cells, and rare.  Mine was caught early because I decided to have my gallbladder removed when I did.  The survival rate with the treatment I am going to have is 5 years.  It could be more, but I bet I"ll have a great grandchild within 5 years.  Without the treatment, much less that 5 years.

I know the treatment will be harrowing.  But I guess it's just like my 'band' adventure.  I will have to keep my eye on the END of the ordeal.  It will be worth it.  I hate to have my grandkids see me in a weakened state.  THAT IS NOT ME!!  But it is also not me to give up!  Last evening my DH, DIL, daughter and Sis got a schedule all worked out as to who will babysit me and when.  It's going to be a dreary holiday season.

Thank you all for your prayers.  In December when all of this starts I will probably not be on here much.  But I'll know you are all there.

God bless you Grammy!  I'm in awe of your strength and fortitude.  You are surronded by people that love and care for you because you are an amazing woman and gentle, loving, mother, grammy and friend!  You can do this! 

Prayers for peace in your decision.

Lisa O.

Well Grammy, with those odds you have to go for it!   I have seen or heard of so many people who were told they had 5 years or 2 years, whatever... and lived another 20 years.  If you fight this thing, your children and grandchildren won't see it as being in a weakened state, they'll see just how tough you really are and admire and love you for it.   You can do this ONE DAY AT A TIME.

GrammyLew

My heart goes out for you. You are in mythoughts everyday. I thought the samething last December when I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. I beat it and so can you.
If I am not working I would drive up to where you are and help you out. Let me know. I am hoping to get a job in the next few weeks though but it is on Call and PRN. So let me know I might be able to work out a few days to come and be with you at the hotel you will be staying at. 
Carla 

Thank you Carla, but after talking to my DIL last evening it sounds like they have it all worked out.  I will not be alone for any of the radiation.  My 'girls', my Sis, my DH and even my son get to babysit.

I so appreciate the offer, though.  I love this forum!

Grammy, I'm so sorry you have to face all of this, but the good news is you're not alone!  It sounds like you have a wonderful family at your side, and then, you have US!  

I'm sure all of this is overwhelming right now, but your team of doctors and nurses will give you all the information that you need to be well armed in this fight.

Wish I could be there to help or to just give you a big hug. Take care, and let us know how you're doing

grammylew

im so sorry that you have to face all this in the next few months.

im sending big hugs your way, and will keep you in my good thoughts
always,

jacki