OT - Issues with my 88 year old Mom

Hello everyone.

Last week, I brought my Mom into the ER with some rather dramatic GI bleeding. After 7 days, we got her well enough to discharge.  They recommended a skilled rehab facility so she could get stronger.  She refused.  She had to get home to the dog.   My sister was down with H1N1 flu, so I was all that was left to help.

I took off work, went to her home with her and tried to keep her there. Despite my best efforts and careful attention, she fell twice and got weaker and weaker.  Back to the ER.  Last night, I put her in a skilled facility.  She doesn't want to be there, insists that she will be OK home alone  and is rather annoyed that I signed her in.

Sigh. 

Ev

You are doing right by placing her in a skilled facility.1. this is the best place for her at this time.
Her safety issues are more inportant. She will start to realize that she is being taken care of,and giving alot of help and care.Everyperson usually does not like to go to these places,but will eventually adjust to them. She will have her meds given to her ,cooked meals and hellp when she needs it. Of course she will complain, this is normal and to be expected.  She will also try to put a guilt trip on you, be calm and you must also accept that this is the place for her right now.and possibly be in the future. It is better to be there and meet others her age and be social. This is really harder on you then her. You could bring in the dog weekends or take her places It/s hard to give up your indepence at any age. Give her the love that she deserves an know that you have done the right thing for all concerned.
I have worked in skilled rehab and other area as well, she will get use to it,but will complain.listen to her.but you must know its the right place for her.

Thank you for the kind words and the suggestions on how to react.  I completely agree, but even at 55, the little girl comes out when Mom is mad!

Ev...that is a tough decision to make but it appears you made the right one. Your mom will be okay...she wouldn't be if she were at her own home.

Don't get down on yourself....I had to make that decision for my mother too....it wasn't easy but for the best.

Hugs...connie d

Oh Connie, you have been through it too!  Tough, isn't it?  Thanks for the hugs!

this is the part that's hard--they don't teach us this growing up...you did well...give yourself a hug!!!!!

Life didn't come with an instruction manual, did it? Thanks for the positive thoughts!

Ev,
You did good.  She needs to be in the skilled rehab facility.  Maybe it'll be just for a short time until she gets stronger.  Could be it may be permanent.  Just know that it's where she needs to be right now.  I got my Mom into a staffed assisted living place and she adjusted just fine after a bit.  Don't worry and don't let her put you on a guilt trip. 
(((hugs to you)))
Jan

Thank you Jan.  I needed every single hug I'm getting!  I'm trying not to feel guilty - I know we selected a lovely place, and the staff seems competent.  

 Evelyn,

Give yourself a hug....  what you had to do is so hard.  I just got off the phone with relatives in E WA and my sister is in a care facility.  Her husband is so out of control because she should be able to get better at home.....   I won't go into the drama but I certainly do understand what feelings you have.  

Millie