my life is going to h------
(deactivated member)
on 1/29/10 2:27 am
on 1/29/10 2:27 am
Marylyn,
Of course you have a right to grieve you losses. I am sure those who tell you to move on or get a life mean well, but that those are unproductive statements that have no direction. Instead of staying in bed, get up and dress as if you are going to see your husband and then go to his grave and have a good chat. Go somewhere you and him had fun together and remember him until you don't think you can cry any more. You will either feel better, or you will start to work through your grief.
I wish all the best to you and I hope you feel better soon.
Just to let you know the prescribed antidepressants do work for this type of situational depression and will make you feel better. They will not take away your memories or your love for those you have lost, they just make it more bearable.
Of course you have a right to grieve you losses. I am sure those who tell you to move on or get a life mean well, but that those are unproductive statements that have no direction. Instead of staying in bed, get up and dress as if you are going to see your husband and then go to his grave and have a good chat. Go somewhere you and him had fun together and remember him until you don't think you can cry any more. You will either feel better, or you will start to work through your grief.
I wish all the best to you and I hope you feel better soon.
Just to let you know the prescribed antidepressants do work for this type of situational depression and will make you feel better. They will not take away your memories or your love for those you have lost, they just make it more bearable.
marylyn...you have been missed...i'm glad that you posted-this could not have been easy for you to say to us...yet; we all care and understand.
everyone has already suggested help and i know you have faith in God. renew your conversations ith Him; let His care embrace you!!!!
please know that you are in my prayers and i'm sending a hug!!!!!
I get up every morning determined to both change the world and have one hell of a good time. Sometimes this makes planning my day difficult.
- E. B. White
Marylyn:
I sure understand about depression. I've been going through it the past year and without counseling and antidepressants, I don't know how I would have made it through the recent layoff. Well, I really haven't yet made it through the layoff because I'm still working until next Saturday, but the "happy pills" have made a world of difference. As my psychologist says, they make you "don't give a damn." So when I would have been weepy or angry about being laid off, it went away quickly, and I dealt with it, through talking to my therapist or to my friend, Mary Kay.
I also lost a dear friend last year and my last aunt, who was 91. My friend Margie died suddenly in the summer, too. I have dealt with financial problems the past year and finally conquered that mountain when I got the layoff. But I know I will get through this, somehow.
You will get through this, too ... I can't advise you on your son because I'm not a mother. The others have given you good advice.
Please get some counseling and some help. You don't have to live in the dark hole. There is some light out there. And we're here for you to vent.
I sure understand about depression. I've been going through it the past year and without counseling and antidepressants, I don't know how I would have made it through the recent layoff. Well, I really haven't yet made it through the layoff because I'm still working until next Saturday, but the "happy pills" have made a world of difference. As my psychologist says, they make you "don't give a damn." So when I would have been weepy or angry about being laid off, it went away quickly, and I dealt with it, through talking to my therapist or to my friend, Mary Kay.
I also lost a dear friend last year and my last aunt, who was 91. My friend Margie died suddenly in the summer, too. I have dealt with financial problems the past year and finally conquered that mountain when I got the layoff. But I know I will get through this, somehow.
You will get through this, too ... I can't advise you on your son because I'm not a mother. The others have given you good advice.
Please get some counseling and some help. You don't have to live in the dark hole. There is some light out there. And we're here for you to vent.
Marylyn
I am sorry your feeling so blue. You have so many reasons to do so but life will get better. When Jon died i thought I would never recover. This past summer my son died unexpectedly and through me for a loop. Without God I would not be surviving , The hard part is I am in my fifties and my son was just a child ... Trying to understand that was a tough one.
You sound like me , I have no family in this town and only stay because of my job that I have been at for 21 years ..
PLease talk to your Dr and tell him EVERYTHING , and find a purpose ,,,Find something to do that will make you have to do it .. Without my job after all that happened I would have been a nut case.
Hugs and Prayers
Shirley
I am sorry your feeling so blue. You have so many reasons to do so but life will get better. When Jon died i thought I would never recover. This past summer my son died unexpectedly and through me for a loop. Without God I would not be surviving , The hard part is I am in my fifties and my son was just a child ... Trying to understand that was a tough one.
You sound like me , I have no family in this town and only stay because of my job that I have been at for 21 years ..
PLease talk to your Dr and tell him EVERYTHING , and find a purpose ,,,Find something to do that will make you have to do it .. Without my job after all that happened I would have been a nut case.
Hugs and Prayers
Shirley
(((Marylyn)))
I am so sorry for the loss of your husband! You have lost half of your heart, your life's mate, partner, and friend. You don't just "get a life" after just 6 or so months, that doctor is ridiculous! If he wanted to help you, he would have suggested a grief support group and something to help you sleep.
When my first husband died, it felt like part of me had been ripped away, amputated. I couldn't sleep. I could barely function sometimes and I had three young children to look after. Thank God I had a good friend who helped me in a lot of tough spots. But during that first year, me and my kids *gained my husband back* in weight, over 300 lbs between the four of us. I became the heaviest I'd ever been in my life.
You also have more trauma added on with the loss of yur beloved pet. I am so sorry about that too.
Add to that the insult of being told to "get a life". OMG. The mind boggles...
I wonder, is there a grief support group nearby? From a local hospice or Catholic church? Unfortunately, most mainline Protestant churches have no clue about grief support but the Catholic church tends to be good about that. Even better is the hospice groups.
If not, there is an excellent online grief support group at Widownet. No one would ever tell you anything like that doctor did. There you will meet many many widows and widowers who are going through similar feelings as you are.
And you can PM me too if you want. I have been there.
I am so sorry for the loss of your husband! You have lost half of your heart, your life's mate, partner, and friend. You don't just "get a life" after just 6 or so months, that doctor is ridiculous! If he wanted to help you, he would have suggested a grief support group and something to help you sleep.
When my first husband died, it felt like part of me had been ripped away, amputated. I couldn't sleep. I could barely function sometimes and I had three young children to look after. Thank God I had a good friend who helped me in a lot of tough spots. But during that first year, me and my kids *gained my husband back* in weight, over 300 lbs between the four of us. I became the heaviest I'd ever been in my life.
You also have more trauma added on with the loss of yur beloved pet. I am so sorry about that too.
Add to that the insult of being told to "get a life". OMG. The mind boggles...
I wonder, is there a grief support group nearby? From a local hospice or Catholic church? Unfortunately, most mainline Protestant churches have no clue about grief support but the Catholic church tends to be good about that. Even better is the hospice groups.
If not, there is an excellent online grief support group at Widownet. No one would ever tell you anything like that doctor did. There you will meet many many widows and widowers who are going through similar feelings as you are.
And you can PM me too if you want. I have been there.
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