OT: Fear of Flying

Ruth,

 I don't want you to think that I am making light of your fear of flying. I sure am not. I am petrified of being off tthe ground more than 3-4 feet. Why flying mostly doesn't bother me I know know. Put me on a step ladder, a bridge over a stream, or gazing down the side of a wornderful place like the Grand Canyon and I can hardly move. I crawled up on the roof one time to watch fireworks with our family, Mike thought he was going to have to leave me there.

You are such an amzing woman. You have managed to succeed where so many of us have failed. You haven endured much discomfort and pain in order to git rid of much loose skin. I am just sure if you approach this fear in the same way that you have accomplished so much that you  WILL be able to, if not completely overcome it, at least be able to lessen your anxiety. Many people would not be able to go through the surgeries you have..

Think about the worst thing that could happen. You have faced that each time you've had surgery. Don't let this keep you from enjoying life fully my friend. You are here on this earth for many reasons and I believe that enjoying the beauty of it and staying in close personal touch with family and friends are just a couple of those reasons. Approach it systematically, one small step at a time. Don't be afraid to seek professional help. Soon you will find that conquering this fear is one more "wow" to add to your list of accomplishments!

Hi Karen,
I don't like looking down from high places either but it doesn't paralyze me.

I never "liked" flying but was able to do it.  I'd read a book, listen to music, sometimes have a drink BUT in 1999 I had a BAD flight from Omaha NE to NY........the plane was bouncing all over and 3 times we hit the dead air spots and DROPPED so hard and so fast it pulled us out of our seats.  Not once, twice, but 3 times within about 5 mins or so.  I was terrified!  I almost did not fly back home 4 days later.....I was SICK all 4 days.  It was the longest flight for me going home....I was in a cold sweat the whole time!
I did not fly for 2 years and then had to for work.  I hated it and did it EVERY WEEK for a year and then decided the stress was just not worth it.  I was sick all the time.  So I started taking the train and then did not fly again until Dec 2008.  UGH

You said a couple things here that really hit home with me. 
I am a strong a women and normally I LOVE a challenge and once I make a commitment and get determined I do whatever the challenge is.  Throughout most of my life I sort out challenges.

Last night I thought to myself...maybe I need to look at it like a challenge......then I shook my head and said no.

The other thing you said is "Think about the worst thing that could happen."  And I thought to myself, YEAH, that's what I'm afraid of!!!!!  BUT THEN you said " You have faced that each time you've had surgery." and I thought holy cow she is right!!!!!!!! 
This has really given me something to think about today. 
Funny thing, my dad always called me the "logical one"......and this paralyzing fear of flying is so illogical!!

Thanks for the input.....you've given me something to think about..... 
Ruth

Certainly having that experience would have given one justification for the fear. Nothing quite like a very rough flight to confirm those fears. I one time had a landing that involved a blown tire. About soiled myself!

FYI - I just wanted to let you know what you said to me yesterday has been replaying in my mind ever since.  It has had a profound impact on me.   I just copied your message and plan on putting it on my fridge so I am reminded all day......

THANKS!

Ruth, I wish I was as good at taking my own words and putting them to use. I tend to think and talk things to death. The action part is the component that is so tough for me to DO! I guess thinking about flying: if the worse that can happen is I or you could die. . . well I'd rather go quickly than die a slow agonizing death! I'm not into pain and suffering. I know we can't pick our way and I'm in no hurry but I sure want to see and do all I can before that day comes. And if I succumb to the altitude at Machu Pichu so be it. It will have been so worth the climb! #1 place on my "bucket list!" Hopefully we'll meet in person some day. I want to do one of those long train rides too! Maybe we can meet "in the middle."

All Aboard..........toot, toot..........would love to meet in the middle.

Thanks for all the support and encouragement!!!

Everybody is right about the hypnosis thing.  It really works for any kind of phobia.  In my early 30's I was agoraphobic to the extreme.  Nothing seemed to be able to help until we tried hypnosis.  Didn't take long before I was out in the world again.  In the meantime, Ativan or Clonapin or Valium pre-flight might not be a bad idea, lol.

For almost 20 years I avoided flying. Turned down great opportunities unless within driving distance. Fear paralyzed me.

When I agreed to "think" about joining friends in Dallas - I vomited. My husband urged me, my friends were supportive, and I finally decided this was too much fun to pass up and said I would get on a plane. Then ran to the bathroom again.

Yes, I was petrified, but Janet and the other Sistahs were all getting together and I didn't want to miss that opportunity. They were all understanding and completely wonderful.

Laureen arranged her flight plans to sit next to me and keep me occupied. She was a perfect angel and kept my mind off the fear.

Ativan helped. Not just the day of the flight but frequently from the time I said yes.

Getting out of my box was uplifting. Sure I felt fear but was determined that I wasn't going to miss out again just because I was afraid.
 
It was the best thing I have done. It took more courage than having WLS but the rewards FANTASTIC!!!!! 

I can't tell you that the fear is completely gone. I didn't lose all that weight to sit home and miss out on the good life. So, I will fly again.

No magical solution, total understanding.

HUGS!!!!!
Annette

Thanks for sharing with me Annette!!

I think if I had someone to fly with me that I could do it a little easier but I'm going to be traveling solo.
I don't the fear will ever be completely gone for me because I've never really enjoyed it but I'd be happy if I can just plan a trip and not start panicking as soon as the plans are made....
Ever since yesterday when I told my family and friends I'd be there in May I have had a knot in my stomach and been totally pre-occupied by the thought of it.

Hopefully over the next few days I'll work up the courage to book tickets...if not it will be good ole' Amtrak again.

Thanks again for sharing!!
Ruth

I am totally surprised by your post.  I can't imagine you being afraid of anything!  You're really brave in my book.  I too suffered with fear of flying, but not until after I got married.  Who knows why.  I too decided that I didn't want to miss out on certain things in life that not flying would do.  For quite some time I always took xanax before flying, that way I was so relaxed I dozed during the flight.  For some reason, the more I flew, the less anxious I got.  Now I don't need my xanax anymore.  I still get a bit nervous, but it's nothing I can't control.  I just think of what's at the end of the flight for me.  Usually a loved one or a vacation.  Since I'm no longer employed, it's not for work.  I too read the cheese book and found it enlightening.  I don't want my fears to limit my life anymore, so I tend to put myself into situations where I'm uncomfortable to prove that my fears are unfounded.  I wish there was something magical that I could say to alleviate your fear, but it's something you have to find within yourself.  Good luck Ruth.
Jan