OT......Off the deep end!!

My world has turned upside down AGAIN!!!

So much happening and so many problems...falling down stairs and reaction to medication....now one of the worst things has happened.

My very best male friend was found dead. We have been friends since we were teenagers (15). Chuck was my rock!! He knew everything about me and I mean everything. He helped me through some pretty awful times in my life. I always had him to lean on....we loved each other. It was hard moving and leaving Chuck behind. He went on a picnic and came home. He complained to his brother that he had heartburn and was going to bed.  He never woke up!

They couldn't reach me because my phone was turned OFF most of the week because I was resting. NEVER will I ever shut my phone off again .....I don't care who says so!! They finally got through to me last night. Today is his service.

I am beside myself with grief. I couldn't go to MN last night  because I am still in too much pain and my sight is somewhat blurry yet. No driving for me. I couldn't even ride in a car that long as Nic had volunteered to take me. 

I have always been told God doesn't give you more then you can handle. OKAY...Nic's Cancer,broken hip, moving from all my friends, many losses in my life....the list is endless!!! I have had it....I have had ENOUGH!!!

I love you all and am sorry to vent but I really had to get this out. I know you are always here for me.

Love and hugs......connie d

We are here for you to vent, Connie. It's like the year (2009) when my friend Margie died and I couldn't say goodbye to her, either. ... and her daughters didn't even bother to call and tell me ... I had to find out about her death on Facebook. I felt so lost that year, and I know it was because of that. I understand how you feel about your friend's death.

You have been through so much, my friend. You need some time to breathe. Maybe this painful period is your time to breathe and rest. Let someone take care of you for once.

Gentle hugs.  and you know Chuck is there for you in spirit, too. ... I still have some dreams about Margie ... strange ones, like I know she is watching over me.

Thank you Eileen....I do know you understand...it is just so hard right now.

Thanks for caring...love and hugs....connie d

So sorry Connie...losing our loved ones makes us sad, lonely , angry, mad and so much more.
I lost my son, my first born , one of the FIRST loves in my life on MAY 29 , a FRIDAY at 5:00 in the afternoon 2 years ago.
Every Friday , on the 29th every year I feel that loss again . I miss him and I never got to say bye . He had a sudden death and no warning so i truly understand .
Prior to that I lost my Fiance' to a sudden heart attack a few years before .
Everytime I think of either of them even now , It takes my breath away still. Losing loved ones is the hardest thing we will ever do in our life.
Funny thing about death . It shows no favortism to anyone , knows no age limits and therefor we must try to live each day as it is the last .
Each day is a gift.
I feel your pain Connie and truly hope that this year what is left can be better for you .
I wish you much Joy today
Love and hugs
Shirley

Shirley....thank you for sharing your story with me. I know you do understand. I too am so sorry for your loss.
I feel such pain and heartache. I keep praying my life will get better...it just seems there is no end to the heartache lately.

I keep praying my life will get easier with more joy then pain.

Love and hugs....connie d

Oh how sad, my heart is hurting for you. Enough is enough.

Monica...thank you so much. I knew you would understand and care.  Enough is enough!!!

Love you....hugs....connie d

Connie...in situations like these, finding the right words is almost impossible.  All I can say is that I'm SO sorry for your loss.  I read the post daily and have been reading about your pain issues these last few days and for that too, I'm sorry you're experiencing this.  Sometimes life hands out cir****tances in our lives that we don't and will never understand.  I've taken these questions to God many times only to come back with no answers but HE did give me peace every time I cried out.  I've learned that trust is what carries me through these tough times...trust in my God that HE knows best for me.  Praying for peace & comfort for you, your family and family/friends of this man who passed away.

Cindy

Thank you Cindy...I appreciate your kind words.

I don't understand...but I am trying to keep my faith.

Love and hugs...connie d

Oh Connie,
You go ahead and vent.  Your pain and frustration is totally understandable.  You have been through many trials, and God is probably using them to make you stronger.

Praying and sending huge hugs to you right now.

Hugs,
Trish