Feeling fatter after plastics

Maybe I have gained 5 lbs. since my TT and first BA 14 months ago.  But I would have thought getting 5lbs. of skin removed from my stomach would make me look much more svelte.  But it doesn't.  I feel fat.  Maybe that's the nit-pickin of plastics?  I don't know.  Maybe it's that I now have boobs and never did before and I, unfortunately, associate that with fat, especially since mine were poorly done and are very low.  

I guess I imagined that after a tummy tuck I'd look like that girl all surgeons advertise on their TT page.  No way!  I didn't go with the anchor cut and it was a split call.  My surgeon ultimately said do I want the flat flat stomach with a scar or no scar.  So now if I bend over, my stomach still makes a bit of a but, or in fitted jeans, it pulls the skin together vertically (if that makes sense?).  And in a bikini or any other clothing, it's like my TT scar has reinforced a muffin top!  I don't know if she didn't go far enough to the sides/flanks, if I should've had lipo, or if I just need to hit the gym.  Because since the TT I have love handles bad.  

I'm just sad because 3 surgeries now and I feel like I look minorly better from only certain angles (ie not the love handles).  I cannot tell any difference in clothing, and in a bikini I look better definitely, but not nearly where I wanted to be.  

I also didn't have the vertical cut the first time.  I can relate to some degree but  in my case I lost an awful lot so the improvement was excellent.  In my head, I thought that I would be a lot thinner afterwards.  In reality my weight went up (swelling I imagine)  and I didn't really lose that much girth.  I have to look at the before pictures sometimes to remind myself of how dramatic the result actually was.  Also, I think over time my definition of "fat" has moved WAY down the scale.  I just had a revision to do the vertical cut and some lipo on my back.  It doesn't change that much when I stand up, but when I bend over it made a lot of difference in the front.  I won't really get the full impact of the lipo for a while but  the preliminary result looks pretty good.  I guess the expectation of having a perfect bod is tough..especially when you have paid for it.  I want to be Brad Pitt at the end of the day...but I'm 53 and have had a dramatic body change... so I need to work on the head game to ensure I'm realistic of the result.  In your case that may or may not be true.  Have you sought out another opinion?

I hope you can find a way to be happy with yourself. Loving yourself is everything. You are young and I am certain your body looks a hell of a lot better than mine, but I love love love my body. Imperfections and all. I love walking around neked and am very comfortable in a bikini. I am happy with ME. It is such a peaceful feeling. I hope you can find that inner peace, too. It makes life so much better.

Now if I ever win the lottery, I will get a few more things done, but if that never happens, ce la vie!! 

I am sorry you are feeling that way. I've seen your posts before and I don't think you'll ever be happy with your results.

I am not happy with the way my body looks and if I was a millionaire I could have 2, 3, 4 more surgeries. I'm stopping now and just going to be happy with my health, not my looks.

I think it's important to remember that you SHOULD have had the weight loss surgery to become healthier, not to become a model.

I remember reading several of your posts about your plastics journey -especially your unhappiness with your BA.  I actually think I would feel the same if I had that done so I am not having BA or BL if I decide to have my arms and thighs done.  That said I am 3.5 months out from a very painful and complicated TT and hernia repair and I don't feel fat, but I certainly don't feel like it was worth all the pain and misery.  I got the same results wearing high support underwear!  And even though yes, it's nicer to not have to wear that support stuff and still have a flatish tummy, it makes everything else look worse!  It almost highlights the other imperfections and I still wouldn't wear a bikini or even a short summer dress... I definitely didn't prepare well mentally for how I was going to feel after plastics.  So I can really empathise with your feeling unsettled and unhappy with the whole thing. 

I didn't have the vertical scar either - and I am glad I didn't as the scar would just be another thing to dislike.  But my stomach still has an inner tube at the scar line that I am told will go away when the swelling is gone but it sure leaves a lot to be desired. I also have a slight dog ear on one side that again I am reassured with go away with time, but it sucks just the same.

I am all for loving yourself - and I do really like who I am and how I look when I have clothes on.  But NO ONE is ever going to mistake my body for anything other than what it is - A smaller version of my obese self with some major tweaks and revisions.  I don't know what else to say except I hope you make your peace with it and either undo the BA or have it redone.  

I'm sorry you are so unhappy with your body.  Do you think you might have some body dysmorphia?  

I know in our heads we should have this perfect hourglass shape.  That isn't real!  We have hip bones that go out and in and out.  Even though I am super fit and have practically zero fat on my torso -- my hip bones pop out and could appear to some as a love handle.  Are you sure you have love handles/muffin top? or are they just your hip bones?  

If we go into plastics expecting perfection, we are bound to be disappointed.  Try to appreciate where you are -- especially considering where you were.  

I completely understand, I had an anchor but because of my lap band port they could not tighten the muscles and could not trim as much up top.

Nearly 3 weeks ago I had a revision, my port had become loose and they replaced it with a low profile one and were able to tighten the muscles and trim me up.  But I just feel fat, he did a good job I did not go all the way around just the front but my back side was not bad. 

I have about 10lbs on me and I am right in the middle of swell hell, during my first surgery they cut 10 lbs of skin so swell hell was nothing since so much was gone.  But this time I feel like a stuffed pig.  To make it worse they had to nearly empty my band and I cannot get a fill till I am a month out so I am eating like crazy, and since I am depressed (it happens after all my surgeries I think it must be side effect of some sort) I am over eating.  

But I can already tell that above my belly button is tighter, and I have a more pronounced waist hourglass going on, and he lowered the bottom portion and trimmed up my pubic area when he tapered off so I am hopeful that after all the swelling, my fill, and me getting back on track by mid March I should feel good.

But I like you just feel fat for now. The scar is huge but worth it to me I never wanted to wear a bikini and my legs have too much skin and junk to wear that anyhow. 

Good luck!

Thank you all for your responses.  I do think that as PS patients we are tougher patients.  We expect more.  If I was happy "just to be alive" or to "not be morbidly obese"--and all of that is true coming from VSG--I would have not had plastics.  I would think that for almost all PS patients there is a "wanna look like a rockstar" aspect to it.  I suppose some have the panniculectomy for health reasons.  I merely did not want peoples' eyes dart to my stomach skin when I wore a bikini or to have skin hang over whenever I bent over or squish together in my clothing.  Unfortunately, my stomach still does all those things, just to a lesser extent.  The price tag is a little harder to swallow when it isn't for health reasons and is purely cosmetic and yet it doesn't reach your idealized image.

I do think there may be a bit of dysmophia there.  And the longer I spend being thinner, the harder it is to remember how pleased I would be with me now compared to me before.  Pictures do help with the stomach.  

Nothing will help with the boobs.  That's just a horrible story in and of itself and has been the primary contributor to me feeling fatter.  If I had a perky BA I might feel curvier and more womanly.  But unfortunately due to what I'm going to say is surgeon error and which she now agrees, my pocket has been completely stretched leaving me with a very low BA that slides off my ribcage in all directions and rests on my stomach half of the time.  Yeah, not pretty for a 27 year old who started out with teeny nice breasts.  On top of the infection I had after my first BA that required explantation.  I think I have some reasons to be miffed about the BA 3 surgeries in and at a minimum 1 more to go.  

Sorry that you feel this way after going through all of this.  But I agree, we do seem to want perfection.  I am more than twice your age and am still pretty picky about how things look.  I sometimes find it hard to believe given how much weight I had let myself gain.  But I did the work, paid the money and I want to be perfect - luckily I only think like that a very little bit of the time.  Given where I was, I am happy with my results.  One thing I did have fixed though was some excess skin between my waist and hips.  I am brca so had breast reconstruction from my abdomen - thats what got me the tt.  But there was so much skin in front to remove, that the dog ears were a little nasty.  My PS fixed them for me as an in office procedure - so the recovery was pretty easy and he did not charge me for the work.  Would something like that make you feel better about how you look?  Something you might want to consider.

I am going for a consultation tomorrow with a surgeon who a) specializes in WLS patients, and b) does revision/reconstruction for breasts and BA's.  I am primarily going to get his thoughts on my BA issues.  But I will also ask about the stomach.  I probably should have gone to someone who specialized in post-WLS plastics from the get-go.  

My current PS's solution is three-fold:  a) lose a little more weight, b) reopen the existing TT scar, tighten it up, and maybe extend it a little more to my love handles, and 3) do some lipo, especially in the flanks.  She says that the vertical scar is still an option but she still thinks it's preferable without it.  But because I haven't had kids yet, she still thinks I should try to accept everything now and then do any revision after I'm done having kids when it might have needed a little work, anyway.  

Not happy to be in this position.  But I'm glad she is finally listening to my concerns.  One thing I notice is that my stomach skin has started to stretch out again.  One surgeon who I had consulted with warned me that very overweight patients that have lost a lot of weight and therefore had a lot of stretched out skin would do this and it was, in his opinion, unavoidable.