I got called fat multiple times to my face last week...

oh, sweetie!!!!  almost the exact same thing happened to me.  Affair, whole town knowing, all of it.  And yes, this one is prettier and younger than me.  He married her.

I kept my cool, and would ***** to my friends, but never let my kids know how much it all hurt.

guess what?  She is making his live a LIVING HELL!!!!!!   Trash begats trash.  karma, baby.

Keep your head high, because now you are on a different path, a BETTER path. 

And if all she could say to you was 'fat'....gee....what is she going to say in a few months? 

I live by Judge Judy....and I believe she would say 'only an idiot would marry a man who cheats on his wife while in and out of rehab.  An IDIOT!!!'

and we all know that idiots are forever.

I'm a few years down the road, and I laugh now, but I do remember how bad it felt, how much it hit me hard.  It WILL get better. 

So, how can I get over this?  What can I do to stop thinking about it?
Unfortunately, my experinece is only time, and probably lots of time, will take this from your heart and mind.  But, that doesn't mean you can' let go of it and CONSIDER the SOURCE!!!  I think that she had to refer to your weight so often because she has nothing else to fault you for.   You were correct in your feelings towards her and she knows it, she just can't accept it.  A life time ago I had some pretty sordid stuff happen regarding the Ex and his girlfriend.  I thought I had a guest spot on Jerry Springer a few times!.  You just have to dust yourself off and keep your dignity.  I wish you continued success on your WL journey, you'll do great, keep your eye on the prize and remember, This Too Shall Pass, I promise.  

Your children will remember that you did not sink to that sorry excuse for a human's level.  You kept the higher ground.  She's stuck with a cruddy husband, while you are on your way to way better times!  Your kids are truly blessed to have such a super mom!

Hugs!

Mary

Put a hit out on her? Just kidding of course, but darn I bet its tempting. My friend has an ex-idiot who cheated on her with her best friend and now treats her like dirt and neither give a crap about the kids or how they act in front of them. You hear it so often, but in this case, I'd have to agree with the other posters who suggest talking to your attorney. For all intents and purposes, she threatened you when she suggested that she'd hit you but for your weight. Is that to say you are in danger when you are thinner. Screw that crap. You children don't have to be subject to that abusive skank. I wonder what she is like to her kid? Sickening. And your ex is a coward. He'll get what he deserves. I'm sure he'll bear the brunt of that venom that she was spewing.

For now, I'd suggest writing it all down to get it out of your head and commit to not thinking about it until there is something concrete you can do about it. Just promise yourself that if you start to think about it that you will pu**** out and think about something else. She is stealing your precious time--she already stole your husband--don't let her steal space in your brain.

Good luck. You should be proud for not responding. I don't know that I'd have had the same restraint.

Best to you and your kiddos,

Denise

My lawyer gave me the best advise ever a few years ago when i was in your shoes. Anytime I had to talk to my ex husband or his wife to always have a small recorder on me. I bought one at walmast for about 50 bucks and I would stick it in the back of my pants when I had to go pick my kids up from his house. When he would call, i would have it in hand with him on speaker so that it got it all. This was used in court by my lawyer to prove harassment. As long as one of the ppl being recorded knows, then it is admissible. So you dint even have to tell him about it. If anything, this protects you! Another thing was to keep a camera on hand too. That way when I went to pick them up if I saw anything out of place i could photo it for proof. My ex was a real fighter and in the end was beating his new wife. My son kept telling me and finally I had pictures to prove it. Good luck!
Alisa

EXCELLENT IDEA!!!  and so easy to do.

-Cyn

Be careful with this - many states (california and florida to name a couple) are "all party" states - meaning everyone has to be informed of the recording.

You've got class, and obviously this woman is lacking in many many areas.

What goes around comes around, and it won't be long before her new *husband* is doing the same thing to her with another woman.  Be glad you got rid of him when you did, you deserve much better.

My advice, seek a TRO  against her, if for nothing else but to protect your children from another scene like that--and tell the ex if he is going to support her behavior, you'll take one out against him too.  Perhaps even make a call to the divorce attorney and ask if it is possible to keep this woman away from your children until she seeks counseling.

--Danelle

First off, huge hugs for what you have had to endure. That's plenty of humiliation without her antics in the parking lot. I give you a lot of credit for keeping your composure. You mentioned that your husband was there. Did he say nothing to stop his wife during her little tirade? Did he not care that his own children were being upset by this? 

Here's what I think. The only reason she'd even be even remotely this worked up about YOU (because face it, a person who goes off on another person like that has strong feelings) is because she has some jealousy issues or is feeling threatened by you. If I had to guess, perhaps things aren't all rosey in her lovely marriage to your ex, and maybe she wonders if he doesn't have regrets. I don't know, but someone who is secure in their relationship doesn't need to conduct herself the way this lady did.

Hold your head high and know that you are the better person for maintaining your composure and dignity. Be proud. I think you did amazingly well and took the high road. That woman can NEVER say the same.

ETA: My son's father left me for a 17 year old when I was 5 months pregnant (I was 31 years old, he was 26). When we went to court for child support and visitation, he refused regular visitation, wanted 6 hours every other weekend with an infant. The courts said no, too long for a small infant. So, visitation was to happen in my home. And he refused to come alone. So in our order, it was written that his girlfriend (yes, the one he cheated on me with) was permitted to come and be there. I had to watch this woman care for my son while my ex did nothing during his visitation. And I conducted myself as ladylike as I could...for my son's sake. It's no easy task.

You got me. All that’s going through my head is that song from “Hustle and Flow."

 

Whup that *****! Whup that *****!!!

But you, no doubt, are far more civilized than me.