Ok everyone, let's have a frank discussion about regain...

Thank you Nik!

The side issue with this, for me anyway, is all the people who grandly announce "X pounds gone forever!" Uh, well, maybe so but maybe not. It all depends on many things, most of which are under YOUR control, so you'd better learn to exercise it.

If you do a search on OH you will never find me with that post title!

Cuz at 172 I could have said "155 lbs. gone forever!" But then I'd have to theorize...was the 15 lb. bounce "new" pounds then?

I HOPE the rest is gone forever but just in case it is plotting to come back, I got something for it!!!

Exactly!  But that's why I luv youuuuuuu!

Ok so I am living with my second WLS I had a lap band that did not work for me, my mom and aunt were successful, but it slipped and caused me months of vomitting and GERDS.  SO I do know from experience how one can fail after WLS. 

This doubt that true newbies have is simply called DENIAL!!!

I know from experiences carbs are always easier to eat some good some not so much.  I can eat a little salad now I am psyched but I also eat protein with my salad to ensure I am doing the right thing.  I can also eat baked tortilla chips, should I of course not but I do.  I also just started eating actual food at 8 weeks out so I was delayed in progressing my diet moreso than most post-ops. 

I know I can regain so I started a regimen and got a buy in from many of my family and friends.  I try to work out 3-6 times a wee****nees kept me from doing that this week, but I have been doing it for about 8 weeks and will return to walking, core, and more cardio next week.  I measure and weigh my food, still avoid actual sugar and sugar in foods like the plague. 
Finally I started therapy this week, because the reality that we need to face is we did not get here just because.  Why do I eat other than when I am really hungry, head hunger is real.

I know that I have issues I need to address so I am trying a holistic approach to this, my stomach was altered surgically, my body will be somewhat altered physically by moving and working on it with exercise, my mind will be treated by a therapist who specializes in addressing eating disorders and emotional eating both!!!

RNY is a tool not a "magic wand" (per Nik), use your tool and achieve realistic goals!!!

Boy, I am chatty today. I had a DS because I heard it had the best chances to maintaining weight loss. I remember saying that if anyone can out eat the DS it would be me. And it was. I don't know of anyone else that had gained 100 lbs with a DS. I know the statistics with the RNY. I know my history. This sounds terrible but I fully expect to regain weight. I always have. I have changed my eating habits for years eating salads and healthy stuff and one bite of bread and I am off and running. My normal is over eating, no matter how long I don't do it, I can go right back to it in a second. So for now I am doing the best I can. Avoiding "bad" carbs keeps me from craving them. I can't do them in moderation. God knows I have tried. I take it one day at a time. I don't know if tomorrow I am going to say "screw it, I want a sandwich". I have done that many times before. I have no judgements on people *****gain. We had surgery because we had bad eating habits. My sister had the surgery 8 years ago and she has regained 40 lbs. To me it's more amazing that she has kept off over 100 lbs. What are the chances of that happening?
I thought I had found the cure for obesity once before. I thought I had the magic wand. I know now that it doesn't exist.

why do I get the feeling that the "newbies" aren't getting a fair chance here...
I too, am a newbie...15 weeks post op & I just want to state that not ALL newbies have the same thinking/mentality. We dont all come to these boards looking to judge & criticize (whether its intentional or not) We also ALL don't have WLS surgery thinking its a quick fix/magic..
I couldnt agree more with your post Nik, however from reading most of the responses, I can't help but feel a bit ashamed to be a newbie.  Someone even mentioned that they stopped reading the board because they were sick of the same question week after week.  Well excuse us...
 I think as newbies we come to this board because 99% of the time we get the answers/advice/guidance we need from the Vets.  My own personal experience is that this is a place with extremely positive & supportive people.  I havn't ever hesitated to post/ask for help, no matter how trivial it may seem.  But now I'm wondering if I need to bite my tongue a bit because the feeling I'm getting is that people arent very tolerable with the newbies.  Hopefully I am wrong in this thinking

I never said all newbies think this way. If that was inferred, it wasn't my words that did it.

No, you don't have to bite your tongue. But neither too will I. If I see unhealthy mentalities I call them out. If that bothers anyone on this board or anywhere my feelings aren't hurt if you skip this post.

But to me what is a far more eggregious crime is to be on this board, see many, many MANY newbies post that sentiment and not warn them that it's a dangerous way to think, Someone did it for me when I was new. I do it for you all who are new. I will continue to do it so long as I am a member of this board.

So far as the same questions. Yes it does bug. Yes it makes it hard to stay on the board past a certain point. Instead of being annoyed by our *****ing, it might help to think about the fact that despite our *****ing...we're still here. And you probably will be too in a year or so and you'll be *****ing right along with us! It's a part of the life cycle of the board. When you get old, your body aches. You know it will ache but you still complain. And then you go off and do something else until a new ache arises. Same case here.

I'd empower you and anybody else to remember that just as much as this is a board for newbies, this is a board for us "old timers" too. Our thoughts and feelings (however craggity they may be) are valid. Don't take it personal. And always, always, always, keep stepping YOUR path to fabulosity.

@ Nik..I don't think she was referring to you.  In my experience, you've been nothing but helpful!!!!    Though I wasn't the newbie who said it, it was a response to my post that got people fired up. 

  I felt some offense when I read that too girly!  We have each other and those that are willing (and there are several) to help!  Hopefully, I'll remember to help when I'm a few years out!  PS--the one newbie that responded to my post with "how could they do that"  I didn't read interpret her to be saying that in a hateful way and I don't think she intended to be rude or judgemental...I really think she didn't understand.  I chose to look at her response as a "how could that happen" rather than a "what a dumb-ass that they let that happen" and I think a lot of people perceived her comment  as *****y.  Teresa, so glad we connected!

I think you misunderstand my intent for starting this thread.

I didn't think the PEOPLE who said that were wrong (there was more than one)

I didn't think they were being *****Y

I didn't even think it was a horrible thing to say.

But I do think it is a dangerous way to think. And so I said something. I have no ill feelings. But if I didn't point out unhealthy behaviors I see (and if you follow my posts at all you know I am as apt to call myself out as I am to call any of you out), I would not be a good friend. And I consider everyone on this board, at various levels, my friend.

If any of the posts here offended you, that's unfortunate. It was not my intent.