dealing with depression - need some advice

It would help if I knew it was going to get better - but seriously, I've had it for at least 30 years.  It does ebb and flow, not a lot, I'm not bipolar - but it never gets really good.  So I've kind of lost hope lately that it ever will get better.  If I had a medical condition, stomach pain or something that had lasted for 30 years and I'd tried this many treatments for it, would I think it was going to get better?

I know what you mean. It's like having a disease with no cure- it's often manageable but in some people it's not. And, then what? I can't even imagine. My depression is bipolar so I do do tend to have that hope that I'm not going to feel this way forever. But, even that hope hasn't kept me from feeling like the effort it takes to breathe is just too much for my body to ask sometimes. And, honestly, in those moments, I focus on the people I love who would be devastated if I stopped breathing for whatever reason until it passes.

Huggles!!
~Sarah~

Kelly   (big hugs)

I know how you are feeling and it is tough.  You really are not in a good spot.

Does your Dr or counselor know?  you need to tell them.  Perhaps get into some intensive outpt treatment or even go inpt and have more ECT's.

We have to get you to a level where things are at least OK.

Keep us posted!

Pup

Yeah, the doc and counselor both know.

I really don't want to go inpatient.  Inpatient sucks these days.  They used to actually provide treatment when you were inpatient, counseling and stuff.  Now they mostly just feed you and give you meds and have a couple really stupid groups a day and you sit around and watch daytime TV.  I think it has to do with insurance coverage changes.  Insurance used to pay more and pay for more days inpatient.  Now they really don't have time to do much treatment while you're in there.

I have have been bipolar since my teens. Depression and anxiety are just 2 pieces of the pie. I have been to the brink of suicide and back.

I am currently taking 5 pysche meds to keep me stable.

So, in a way I know where you are coming from.

Contact me personally and I will do all I can (based on my experience) to help you out.

I had situational depression from losing both of my grandmothers and my cousin 2 years a part from eachother all of whom I was very close with. I didn't want to go to school but I knew I HAD to do it. I was treated with a few diff meds for about 7 years and then took myself off of it, and have been fine since. However i know what helped was actually getting to school, when I was in high school, or getting to work once I graduated. The hardest part was getting up TO DO IT, but once I was there, I felt a little better because I had things preoccuping my mind. I know exercise relieves a lot of my stress. And I know what you mean by if you are just too tired to do it how do you expect to exercise. My suggestion to you is you have to get up, and get dressed to see your doctor or when you went to a counselor etc...so think of it as something you HAVE to get up and do. you have to get up and see a counselor to help you in some way......think of the gym or even going outside for a walk as part as a therapy/counseling session. Even if its just 1 walk around the block or go to the gym and walk 3 minutes on a treadmill and leave. Then try again the next day and go for 4 minutes, and increase it each time. Or go out with some friends out to dinner, or enjoy a movie or to a coffee shop or something. Being with people helped me as well.

I've been there as far as the depression goes however, meds worked for me. Of course, it was the 2547th medication that finally worked. My advice is to continue the fight. Keep looking for what will help you and keep talking to the doctors and therapists so they can help you.

Nothing made me feel worse then having someone tell me to snap out of it or try exercise. My heart goes out to you.

Dear Kelly, I have nothing.  But I want you to know that I care about you from knowing you on this forum and this sucks.  I will pray that it gets resolved.  SOON.

I know what you're going through as I deal with severe depression as well. I wish I could take it away or that I had an answer that would in some way help. Something that my therapist told me last week stuck as I tend to  beat myself up  because I feel like I can control this, like I should be able to just snap out of it. Don't beat yourself up, be kind to yourself and allow yourself room to breath. It's not as simple as just getting over it, or just doing it and someone who hasn't been there doesn't quite get it. I wi**** would just go away or that I could just snap out of it and be productive, have energy and stop feeling so empty. I wish I could just hug you. I really hope in time the effects of the ECT do go away and that you're able to think more clearly. I'm keeping you in my thoughts and prayers! You're strong and I know you'll get through this! 

I do often feel like I should be able to control it or I don't understand why I can't.

I'm sure the side effects from the ECT will fade in time but they are very frustrating right now.