kinda weird question, but about making friends?

Kelly, I am pretty much in the same boat except I do have friends at work. We don't socialize though because they're mostly younger than I am and raising families, etc.

I am joining a book club at the library. With depression and social anxiety it is really difficult to make myself do anything like that though. Also, you can still go to church for the social aspect of it and not the religious part. Stay for coffee hour and people will come to you for conversation. As I said, it's difficult.
I believe friends make a big difference with the depression though and putting yourself out there is important. I speak from years and years of experience too. Hard, I know!

You have been given alot of good ideas to start.....not working is tough because most of us spend alot of time at work w/people and they do become a significant part of our social life.  I think volunteering at a hospital or library or school(maybe an animal shelter or vet hospital?) is good because it is like work and it will help to get out of your house and your own head.  Hopefully it will help lighten your depression.  A book club is good too, look for one that's established.  I love groups like Ruritans, Lion's Club etc.Wherever you land host a coffee or a potluck.  Make your own party, they will come.  One thing I will point out, remember to make friends you have to be a friend, put in the effort even though it might be hard for you.  It may take a few attempts with one person or sev'l people.  I see how often you help people on this board and are a real friend and support to many so I think you will be just fine!  SMILE!!  Hard for people not to smile back and I know it takes practice, it does for me.....and say good morning or good afternoon whenever you can, makes you look approachable.
You will find people/friends through activities you really like.You will be surprised how many people will respond when you initiate the interaction.  Keep trying, it will happen.  All any of us really need is a friend or two, and when we find that we are golden.  Lots of acquaintances and superficial stuff is just as uplifting and fun.  All the best, I know you are a truly appreciated member here!

Our local school system offers a wide variety of continuing ed programs, usually for a nominal fee. I don't know if its possible or not but, but can you audit classes @ a local community college, I thought I read about that, for a small fee you can attend the class, but no credits are earned. Good Luck with finding something that will work for you.

You have received some good suggestions and I cannot think of anything to add to them, but I did want to let you know that I don't think it's a "weird" question at all.  I don't live in a small town, but I currently have a similar issue.  I ended the relationship I had been in a couple of years ago, so I am no longer eligible to be part of the various "couples" activities with married/partnered friends... and almost all of my female friends are married with kids and therefore have limited social time available... I find myself also looking for some new female friends (not to mention a new male companion, LOL).  Because I work two jobs and am working on my PhD, though, my time is limited -- making time for occasional activities isn't so much the problem, but it means that I do not have the time to  join a class, volunteer somewhere, etc. in order to meet new people other than at work (and I work with a small group at one job and am not permitted to socialize with anyone from the other job even if I wanted to (counseling clients!))  So, both in terms of dating and meeting female friends, I am in the same boat.

Lora

Kelly ( Nice name LOL)

I am not a social butterfly until I get to know someone,at least within the first meeting.
I do attend my support group meetings, but mine are local. I understnad your are to far away. I know there s a class ( I believe it is mostly online or check ith your group that is to far away). You could b a support group leader, you don't need college to do this.

Over time I actually attend 2 different support groups. "My" group here I had surgery seems to at times be more focused on the before surgery stuff. I still attend to give support to others starting out- Have been there done that kind of thing. The other support group is for the other hospital- gosh don't let their paths cross (thats a whole different story). At that group they really focus on the after, we fit in the before for the new joiners, a mix of topics.

I noticed that still wasn't enough for me and some others. I started up a coffee clutch nce a month. WLS people are welcome and anyone else. We meet at different coffee spots and have a great time, hour or so. It was fun judging the different shops and finding the best fit. In the nice weather we do the B.Y.O.B and B.Y.O.C bring your own beverage and bring your own chair and we meet t a local park, bring your kids let them play. It is a win win!

Ok, off all those ideas, If I were you, I would post a flyer (ask first) with a date on it at the Y. "Intrested n social time and coffee? Come join me at _____. Pick a time and place and be there. It might start off with one person showing up and grow from there. I know it sound corny but there are others like you not wanting to take that first step too.

Please be careful with craigs list, people become missing and die. Yes, I use the ist for buying things but not meeting (yet).

Find your passion and build on it. LOL mine is coffee
Kelly/tink

Well, count me in the same boat, kinda.

I'm an extrovert so easily "connect" with people and have no trouble establishing a rapport. My problem is in the follow up. Because of past crap I have so many trust issues that I invariably sabotage new friendships or anyone that tries to get close by setting up "dates" (ie, coffee, shopping,etc) and then having to cancel for whatever reason. So while I have many "acquaintances" and people I can
"talk" to, I don't really have too many I can TALK to, if that makes sense.

My two best friends are hundreds of miles away (Alaska and Arizona) and I've got maybe 2 people in the area I actually trust. I treasure them. But even with them I tend to isolate and were it not for their persistence during major depressive episodes I would not have them either.

So, I just wanted to say I kinda know where you're coming from. I'm learning I can spend time with people without trusting them deeply and also trying to make myself "follow up" on opportunities for friendship. It's hard. I wish I had an answer for you. The ideas here are incredible and I'm sure you'll be successful using them. I wish I had your drive/desire to find new friends right now, but I just don't. I've let my OH friends into my life in a lot more areas than real life people, which sounds weird, I know, but that's just how it is lately.

Sorry no words of wisdom from me. Just wanted you to know that you are not alone in feeling like you do.

Although I live in Pittsburgh now, I am from a very small town (my nearest neighbors were Amish!- no Starbucks or Panera) and I know that our library always has reading groups. Also, your local legion, vfw, etc usually will have Ladies Auxillaries - you dont have to be a vet, etc to join. Usually they do small get together for a variety of things (community service, helping their local post, lunches). Also, I do not know how community based you would be interested in being, but if you contact your town's municiple bldg and say you are interested in becoming involved on a committe usually they are happy to take volunteers and also may be able to tell you if there are any rotary, garden or reading clubs (etc) in the community. Sorry I am not more of a help - your always such a help on here...

You've gotten lots of great ideas.  

My 2 cents would be, though you don't really trust new people and I get that, you could start out by being "friendly" and not necessarily be fast friends.  Maybe having a few acquaintances would be a good start and become friends.  Did this make any sense to you?   LOL

As an Army wife and having to move every 3 years or so, I don't have luxury of waiting to become friends and making a circle of people I can rely on, I have to do this fast as they may be gone in a few months! 

Like some of the other ladies have mentioned, I am older and an older wife/mom, so many of my friends are in their 20's!  I am old enough to be their Mom....LOL  In the past my closest friend at the moment (other than Hubbins) has been a guy, some 30 year younger or a person 20 years my senior.  I think you just have to put yourself out there, I know easier said than done.

Also, I have and do live in a small town.  Small town people can be very weird and closed off.  If you didn't go to 1st grade with so and so, you are an outsider.  If Joe Blow can't vouch for you, you are an outsider.  So the truth be told, it might not be YOU, it might be THEM.

perhaps check out your local library, they usually have some time of classes going, scrapbooking,writing, sewing, crocheting etc...also check out your local senior citizen group, yes they may be old but most of them LOVE To party...they have dance lessons that are decently cheap,mine has ballroom dancing for just $2 every friday...they also have line dancing...they have bingo there, they have cards and dances....i was an activities director for a senior living home and i can tell you, those folks LOVE to party....
check to see if you have a homeschool group...there are lots of moms out there that do alot of stuff together, and they may not mind you taging along...do you have a mall? go and sit at the mall, theres always alot of folks taking a break at the mall. join their walking group in the mornings, if they have one...
check to see if there are any type of bunko games goine on..that is a dice game...i went to one, and boy howdy, it is a trip..do you like to play cards? do you have a senior living place, perhaps you could go there, the place i worked at had knit & stitch group. they sat around talking and crocheting or knitting and helping each other....it will get you out of the house and interacting...they want friends as badly as you do...
just some thoughts, hope you can try some of them..
have a great day
debby

i have no ideas to add.. BUT I'm in a similar boat in terms of depression and then just being too broke to hang out most of the time although I do have a couple friends....