Almost 2 years post-op. Confessions...

I have had a lot of success with my surgery. I reached my own personal goal - twice - never thought I would lose as much as I did. But I still have more to lose. I totally changed my life. Met Mr. Right. Got married. Had a baby. Excelled at work. It has been a very awesome and productive and busy two years.

And I have to confess... I haven't done everything right.

I have a lot of things I need to work on! I am 6 weeks out from having a new baby boy. Trying to get back on track with my weight loss - have 15 more pounds of baby weight to lose and another 35 to get to where I really would like to be. And I'm discovering how many bad habits I've developed. I always swore I would never be one of those people who took her tool for granted!

But when you get so busy living your awesome new life - well sometimes life can get in the way!

So here are my confessions. Feel free to add yours too.

1. While I love my weight loss - sometimes I still hate the way I look. I have gross, yucky hanging skin. But I'll take it over the fat and prison of my former body any day. Sometimes I worry about losing more weight because I'm scared of how much worse more extra skin will look.

2. I didn't go for my one year post-op appointment. i didn't get my labs done. I was pregnant and going to lots of OB appointments. My surgeon lives out of town, and I was unable to get the time off work. I didn't make it as big of a priority as I should have. I am going in a couple weeks though. My OB ran bloodwork. And I saw a nutritionist. But not the official surgeon labs.

3. I started drinking with my meals during pregnancy to make myself be able to eat enough food.

4. I eat candy. Chips. Fast food. And various other evil foods. But I'm trying hard to break the habits and cut them out of my life again.

5. I stopped exercising especially after I got pregnant (it have me contractions).

6. Sometimes I chew and spit my food out. I know it's disordered eating. I know it can increase ulcers. I know it's not a great idea. But sometimes I do it - especially when I'm trying to not gain and/or am having horrible cravings. I'll binge and spit it out in the trash.

7. I don't take every vitamin on schedule or every day like I should. Some days I forget to take my vitamins at all.

8. I drink with straws.

9.I drink carbonated beverages. 

10. And sugar no longer makes me sick unless I eat an insane amount of it.

Ok I'm done. Confessional over.

I have 15 pounds of baby weight left to lose 6 weeks postpartum - so I'm still not doing horribly. I haven't totally sabotaged myself. But I'd be headed there if I weren't working on cleaning up my act.

Just going to say no one is perfect. You can slide back into your old habits. Sometimes we make bad decisions even after losing a crap ton of weight.

And it's something we have to work at for the rest of our lives.

And also getting knocked up can throw a monkey wrench in things.

That is all. Lol.

 Thanks for your honesty!  It takes a lot to look at ourselves in this way.  I'm guilty of a few things on your list too.

Good blessings with the baby!

I am not two years post op and guilty of a lot of things you talk about here.  I think moderation is the key.  Being zealous about anything is not appropriate.  Like you, I will be more aware. 

WOW!  You've lost 241 lbs!  That's awesome.  If life were perfect then the world wouldn't be right.  So, you fell back into your old habits.  You know what you did, you've put yourself in check.  I see myself doing many of these things already at just a year out. This post is a real eye opener for me!  If you'd like an e-mail buddy, I'm all for it.  I know you'll be busy with the new baby but feel free to e-mail me, maybe we can keep each other in check! My addy is [email protected]

Well they say confession is good for the soul!

I am just a couple of months ahead of you, and have to say that I see many people here and in my support group that meet their greatest struggles after the 2nd surgiversary. This is a time to really fortify yourself for the reality of maintenance.

Those old habits lie in wait for us. Those pounds we lost are lurking around the next corner. Yes, everyone stumbles and no one is perfect, but we have to be very vigilant.

15 lbs. of baby weight isn't bad at all!!! Those other pounds to be where you'd like to be? I think a lot of us have those!

Good for you for getting yourself straightened out. I am very concerned about your vitamins and not getting in for your post op check. If you have any kind of deficiency, it is essential to know about it so you can rectify it PRONTO. My surgeon was very clear that by the time we have any symptoms of deficiencies of the B vitamins or calcium in particular, we are already at a point of irreversable, untreatable damage.

Here's to kissing those 15 lbs goodbye, and a long and happy life with your new family!!!!

Well I am 5 years out in August.  I had my surgery in 08/02/11.  I had lost about 90 pounds and I still need to dump 78 more.  I take all my vitamins and try to do the right things, but I have a problem with cookies and some junk   I thought I would be off all my diabetic meds and other pills, but that hasn't happened.  I lost my mother 20 days after my surgery and then I went into severe depression and I have battled this for the last 5 years.  I had thoughts of taking my life many of times, but never went through with it.  My wife had the mini gastric bypass 09/2000 and I dealt with her alcoholism for about 5 years.  I have had a rough way to go!

I would like to try and improve my health and come off all these meds.  I need to make my way back to the gym, but I never stick with it???  I get so bored and tired after work.  I need some serious help and I swear insulin makes you gain weight!  I take the Novalog Pen and I swear meds make you keep from losing weight!

Thanks for all the comments. And I know not getting the post-op bloodwork is a bad deal. But I did at least have blood draws checking my vitamin levels 2-3 times during my pregnancy - they checked the B vitamins and iron and all of that stuff. But I'm sure it wasn't as in-depth as the panel the surgeon runs. Good news is that if there were any major deficiencies the OB should have caught them. But I still should have went to the surgeon and gotten my bloodwork and did better with my eating during pregnancy - I literally ate whatever for most of my pregnancy. When I watched it I lost weight which my OB said wasn't ok. He said I didn't have to gain but that I could not continue to lose. I made up for the weight I lost and then some!

George - are you on depression meds? Do you have a therapist? I would definitely look into that. I have battled with severe depression for many years (it actually resolved with weight loss though). And exercise - sunlight and therapy really helped me to get past the depression. As long as you are in a deep depression weight loss is pretty much impossible. Make sure you treat your depression then it will be easier to work on the weight.

Well, I don't have any confessions as I believe that, as humans, we're all fallible. In my opinion we should be more apologetic of thinking ourselves perfect than making mistakes. But anyway...

Here's my response to yours:

1. Welcome to the club. It is partially based in reality, partially I think we are all body dysmorphic on some level. The skin makes it hard to see our real progress. I think plastics should be a part of the deal

2. The good thing about that mistake is, it's an easy one to correct. Make an appointment. See your surgeon. Pregnancy in the first two years after surgery is common. They will understand. But they are uniquely equipped to help you get where you want to be. So go make the appointment. We'll wait while you doit...

3. Don't beat yourself up about that. Many doctors will advise you to do that when you need more calories. The good thing about that, again, is its an easy thing to remedy. Stop doing it.

4. While I respect the sentiment, I encourage you to remember that food is neither good nor bad, angelic nor evil. It's just food. It's how we USE food that has the potential for ill-intent. I know it's a matter of wording, but I firmly believe the story we tell ourselves is important. Calling any food evil (even in jest) takes the responsibility off of us and puts it on the food. It's not the food's fault we love it, although I sure wi**** could be!

5. Again, easy to remedy. When you can get back into exercise, do it. Start small and build up!

6. That is a serious issue. Please treat it with the seriousness that it deserves and see someone about it.

7. Oh hell...let's do a poll. Who does take 100% of your vitamins 100% of the time. If you raised your hand, you are lying. That is all.

Hugs. Life is a journey. We're going to have times when we excel and times when we struggle. That's just the way it is.

I am glad that you're happy. Congrats on the new love and the new baby. Those are blessings!

You are definitely not the only one!!  I have been struggling too and I am just over a year and half post op.  I haven't been on here much, and seeing your post this morning really helped me not feel alone.  I just moved to Boston, Mass. 2 months ago from Washington State.  This has been really hard on me as I had a great support system of friends, and now they are all across the country.  Maintenance is definitely going to be the hardest part for me!! I got out of my routine with the move and not exercising.  Now I am having a really hard time getting back into it.  But like Nik said these are all easy things to fix and I am never going to be that "fat" girl again.  Thanks for posting this and being so honest!!
Tori

Im about 14 months out and I do a few of the things on your list as well. Im a lil depressed cause both my lil women are heading off to college this weekend. I have NEVER been alone in my life as I have a twin sister then had them when I was a teen. Sigh..
I havent taken a vitamin in months..
I do drink with meals
and with certain meats I chew and spit it out...
I also eat chips, cookies, cakes and other sweets.. just cant eat alot of them.. or I will get sick.
I currently dont have insurance till Aug 1 so I havent been to my dr since my 9 month checkup..