I'm drowning

I was inspired to write this from the quote that Lora has "You don't drown by falling in.  You drown by staying there".  I'm drowning.  I had bypass surgery on Sept 2nd and I've lost 86 pounds total.  I haven't lost any weight in over 3 months.  I feel like my food addiction is getting the best of me.  I'm feeling sad and hopeless tonight and I'm not sure what to do.  I'm reaching out to you on this blog for help and incouragement.  I'm crying as I write this.  Why does food have to be so addictive?!  Why do I have to crave it and think about it?!  I had surgery for pete's sake and it still getting the best of me.  I've researched for OA meetings in my area and there are none. My PA asked me to do a food blog and I haven't.  WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME??  Why can't I love myself?  Has this happened to any of you and what did you do about it?  I feel like a total failure.  I feel like I'm going to disappoint myself and my entire family.  Please help!

This is so hard. I have also struggled with food addiction. You DO love yourself or you wouldn't be posting this message at all! You need to work with a therapist, as all addicts do. Is there an OA group that meets online? You cant do this on your own and you don't want to destroy your great success. At least you aren't gaining. You are smart to get help now. Call your insurance and get a referral for a therapist.

Thanks!  I will do that!

I agree. Therapist is the answer. You need a best friend too. A shoulder to cry on. You need a buddy that you can call day or night to listen to you and help you. You need to find out how to feel good inside and love the person you are right now. You are beautiful. You need to tell yourself every day that you are beautiful inside. Start healing inside. Dear Lord, you are the King of kings and Lord of lords, with you all things are possible. Hold Amy close to you and tell her that you love HER. Take her by the hand and guide her and be there with her every step. Put love and strength in her heart. Do not let go. In Jesus name I pray. Amen.

Thank you so much!

I agree, find a therapist! I'm going to see mine for the second time tomorrow. It's too early to know if it's working but I'm looking forward to talking to her.

I also agree with Rebecca about needing some support. OA is great and if there aren't any local meetings, try online. There are even phone meetings. You might could find a sponsor and have somebody to help keep you accountable and work through stuff with you.

Don't lose hope! Take care!!

Okay. Deep breath time. Breathe.

You are not a failure. You are reaching out for help before it gets worse.

Are you not losing because of your eating? Or has your body just deciding that it is stopping at this point? That happens sometimes - and it is really hard to accept if it stops before we are ready emotionally to stop.

As long as you have breath, you have hope. Don't give up. Let us know what your eating is like and we can try to help you.

There ARE Overeaters Anonymous meetings online - you can google them. Those may help you a lot, if you're eating is your problem.

Also, sometimes people do stall for months towards their year or so anniversary and are able to start losing again. You still have a good couple of months in your honeymoon period. You can start over if you need to and still probably lose weight.

Hang in there. Keep posting. PM me if you want/need to vent more. I have no magic wand, but I'm a good listener =)

I have just read your post and know that you are not alone.  I too have been struggling with food addiction.  After all I've been through and I find myself eating the most unhealthy things at times and "binging".  I've been feeling very sad and at a lose too. 

I know I will get through this.  I have a counselor and she is great help.  I agree with others about OA online and being accountable.  That helped me in the past, years ago before I ever had surgery.  

Hang in there,  take it one day at a time. We will get through this difficult time!  Thanks for sharing your struggles.  We are not alone and it helps to know that.

Lori

I am 5 days out so you may think my advice is worth a penny, but I truly believe that if you stop worry and obsessing over the numbers of your weight and focus on just being healthy and working on how you feel internally the rest will follow...but what I KNOW 100% IS YOU WONT SUCCEED IN KEEPING THE WEIGHT OFF BY WORKING JUST TO TAKE THE WEIGHT OFF. Our disease deserves more aknowledgement then that, this is a problem of the brain not the stomach dont forget that in this process.. you are 86 pounds healthier, and you are going to keep on going working on you. This is not a sprint, its a marathon, pace yourself and hydrate. LOVE AND BE KIND TO YOURSELF! let others judge you dont judge yourself! lol ok i sound like a bunch of corny quotes but its all geniuine

 This is a link I was given a while ago for OA meetings online. There were meetings every 3 hours, starting at 12midnight, around the clock.
Food addiction is a killer.  It is very real.  It is the reason I failed with my first WLS and I am determined not to let it get to me this time.  I am very diligent in avoiding sugar and refined carbs.
Good luck to you.
 http://www.starchat.net/chat/?chan=Recovery