down hearted after a failed attempt at lap band

This is the first time in my life I have ever posted in any forum anywhere.  But here is my story.  I am 5'1" tall.  I am  46 yr. old.  I have been working for the last 8 mos. on going through the steps for lap band.  On July 20th, I had my surgery.  Unfortunately, it was unsuccessful.  My Doctor, whom is a very renowned Doctor simply was unable to perform the surgery.  He said it wasn't because of my weight (348.00) but because of the fact of how I am anatomically.  My liver was enlarged as well as my spleen and also laying flat on top of my stomach and he just coudn't do the surgery.  I was devastated beyond words. Now, he wants me to have the gastric bypass.  I am quite terrified of having the surgery but feel and agree with him this is my only option.  My husband, however, is totally against it.  He has never had a weight issue in his life.  He is just out there when it comes to this.  And I think he is worried about my health as well.  Please tell me what you think the "turnaround" time is for me if I have this done?  i.e. of all goes well.  Thanks in advance and my apologies for the long post.  I am just downhearted........

Hello. I had lap RNY 7/20 after hoping for lapband initially. My husband, who also has never had any weight issues was against it. I can say that after meeting with my surgeon and attending information session and support groups he came onboard and I am so happy. I am almost 6 weeks out and have not had any major issues. I am just starting back onto solid foods and am taking my time with it. Alot of folks are already eating solids and doing well, I have issues with nauseau with smells so that is why things are so slow. I recommend your husband go to all informational meetings and groups you do so he gets more comfortable with this life change. It isnt an easy or quick fix but a tool to aid us the rest of our lives. Best wishes!! Teresa

 Wow.  You have just been through a very unhappy experience!  Who wouldn't be downhearted?

I don't know what you mean by turn-around-time... so can't answer that question...

There are many people who post much longer letters - so glad you've posted and don't worry about how long your letter is.  Lots of helpful people here.

Hope you are feeling better soon.. all good things...

I am 52 and had gastric bypass in June.  I was released to work after 4 weeks.  I probably could have gone back after 3 weeks with no problems.  I had an allergic  reaction to pain meds or I would have been able to go back even sooner.  LAP RNY is a much easier recovery than any other surgery I have had (2 c-sections,  ovary removal).

 Was your husband ok with the lapband?  The band and the RNY, if done lap, have the same healing time.  The RNY is more effective and has lasting results AND it does not leave a foreign object in your body.

Go to the lap band forum her at OH, you will see how many people complain about it.  Many of the people on the RNY forum are revisions from a lap band.

You said your husband might be worried about your health, and if that is the case he should support your surgery.  Being obese is going to cause many problems.

My BF was not happy with my decision either, so we went with me to meet the doctor and he got used to the idea.  He is much better with it now that I am 57 lbs lighter and much happier.  

Remember, this is your life and your decision.  He is your husband, but he doesn't get to make your medical decisions for you. This is for you and about you, not him.  Tell him to get on board or he can stand on the sidelines and not participate, but you do what you think you need to.  He will come along soon enough.  

 Hopefully I'm on target with what you mean by "turn around time" but I was back working after 2.5 weeks though didn't have much energy bac****il 5 weeks out. My lap surgery was around 4 hours.

I'm guessing your surgeon will be doing open instead of lap - if your liver is too large to do the Band, then he would not be able to do RNY laporoscopically either. That may influence your recovery time, open vs lap. I've heard of lots of successful people on this forum who've had open so they can attest better to their recovery.

Your husband's fear may be out of ignorance so getting him educated can help assuage some fears. I agree with the other poster *****commended he go with you to appointments & support group meetings. They don't have to have struggled with obesity or undergo this same surgery to appreciate your choice and be a good support - but there does have to be willingness to respect your decision and man up.

Good luck!

I have had the lap band as well as RNY (just 7 weeks ago) I Think that healing from the RNY was easier as well as the eating and such.

I was not happy with the lapband it was hell I am glad I revised.

Good luck!

I know how you feel about the husband. My husband was totally against the rny and I had lapband  back in 2008, without success. I am 4'9.5 and 240 so I know how you feel. My band now has to be removed because it has failed me, within the first 6 mo. the port began to droop or tilt, not enough for surgery to replace it but I wonder if that is not why I never have the correct amount of fluid. After my hubby has seen me go thru the issues with band ( fill, refill, unfill...) he decided to go with me to my surgeon this past week. He is now on board with me and understands how badly I want to lose weight and be healthy.I am now awaiting insurance verification for lapband to Rny revision. Being obese can cause a enormous amount of problems.  Talk to the hubby and try to get him to go to a seminar with you, maybe he needs to fully understand how it could help you out healthwise in the long run. Dont get down on yourself we are all in this together! Keep your chin up. :)

I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. Maybe you are meant to have the RNY instead of the lap band. I am only 5' tall and I am also over 300 lbs.(I was 362 the morning of surgery) my lap RNY took 4 hours because I also had a large hernia and scar tissue/adhesion's from another abdominal surgery I had 2 years ago. My surgeon had me do a 2 week liquid diet prior to surgery to shrink my liver. Although it had shrank some, it was still larger than my surgeon expected. My surgery was still able to be performed laproscopically (so it can be done). Did your surgeon have you do a liquid diet? If not, I would highly recommend you do one before your RNY. As far as turn around time, I was back at work in one week. The recovery really wasn't that bad. The worst thing for me was the gas but it goes away pretty quickly. If you have any questions, feel free to send me a private message. Good luck with whatever decision you make.

I am a Lap-Band to RNY Conversion.  Whichever surgery you decide (whether RNY or another form or WLS), go in with your mind and eyes wide open.  Make sure you are comfortable with your surgeon and do your research.  That includes going to support groups - make sure you take your hubby.  Also - have him look at these boards as well as video sites (like You-Tube)...see the successes, those struggling - it may help him understand what you are going through.  It is a tough, live changing decision and I can tell you from experience much easier to have your loved ones behind you.  This will affect him as well - keep in mind it is your decision - hopefully his support will follow...

I had my Lap-Band done Laproscropically and was back to work within three days.  However, my revision to RNY was mini-open and the recovery has been a lot tougher.  My doctor said I could be out up to a month for recovery but depending on how I felt could go back to work after a week.  I went back after two weeks and wished I had taken the full month.  I'm now four weeks post op and am finally starting to feel better.  I have had two c-sections and honestly recovery from this surgery has been much harder.  Keep in mind I'm a revision - and had a lot of complications from the band which I'm sure contributed to my tougher and longer recovery.

I want to prepare you that WLS and the recovery that goes along with it is different for everyone.  We all hope for a quick and easy recovery, but should be prepared if it isn't so.